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CONTEST #7: Unintentional Poop Lyrics -
Submitted by Dave
January 30, 2002, 38 Comments

** FIRST PRIZE ** The winner will receive an Official PoopReport Fake Poop, courtesy of our friends at Feces Farms! Any song can be interpreted more than one way. Hotel California, for instance --- some say it's about drugs. Others say its about insanity. Still others say its about...

CONTEST #7: Unintentional Poop Lyrics
Submitted by Dave
January 9, 2002, 60 Comments

** FIRST PRIZE ** The winner will receive an Official PoopReport Fake Poop, courtesy of our friends at Feces Farms! Any song can be interpreted more than one way. Hotel California, for instance --- some say it's about drugs. Others say its about insanity. Still others say its about a...

CONTEST #6: Poop Movie Titles -- Final R
Submitted by Dave
December 12, 2001, 25 Comments

** GRAND PRIZES ** A Feces Farms feces and Greta Garbage's new book! In a way, all 418 entries into the Poop Movie Titles contest were winners. After all, there were some really funny ones there. But then again, in a more accurate way, Jeff S. is the winner. With over a...

CONTEST #6: Poop Movie Titles -- Vote N
Submitted by Dave
December 4, 2001, 0 Comments

** GRAND PRIZES ** A Feces Farms feces and Greta Garbage's new book! Forrest Hump. Shaving Ryan's Privates. Romancing the Bone. It's a funny joke, turning regular movies into porn movie titles. But you know what, it's just as funny with poop. Thanks to Chip Brown for...

CONTEST #6: Poop Movie Titles
Submitted by Dave
November 15, 2001, 49 Comments

** GRAND PRIZES ** A Feces Farms feces and Greta Garbage's new book! Forrest Hump. Shaving Ryan's Privates. Romancing the Bone. It's a funny joke, turning regular movies into porn movie titles. But you know what, it's just as funny with poop. Thanks to Chip Brown for...

CONTEST #6: Poop Movie Titles
Submitted by Dave
November 15, 2001, 8 Comments

** GRAND PRIZES ** A Feces Farms feces and Greta Garbage's new book! Forrest Hump. Shaving Ryan's Privates. Romancing the Bone. It's a funny joke, turning regular movies into porn movie titles. But you know what, it's just as funny with poop. Thanks to Chip Brown for...

CONTEST #5: Rename The Bidet -- Final Re
Submitted by Dave
October 24, 2001, 9 Comments

** FIRST PRIZE ** The winner of this contest received an Official PoopReport Fake Poop, courtesy of our friends at Feces Farms! "Man, that buttsink sure feels good." "Gosh, this one is going to be messy, good thing I have a buttsink." "Gee, my ass really hurts, you don't have a...

CONTEST #5: Rename The Bidet
Submitted by Dave
September 7, 2001, 5 Comments

It's not just for hairy European women anymore. ** FIRST PRIZE ** The winner of this contest will receive an Official PoopReport Fake Poop, courtesy of our friends at Feces Farms! The bidet is an incredible appliance that every red-blooded American male should love. After even...

CONTEST #5: Rename The Bidet
Submitted by Dave
September 7, 2001, 0 Comments

This contest is now closed. Click here to vote for the winner. Keep reading to see all the original entries. It's not just for hairy European women anymore. ** FIRST PRIZE ** The winner of this contest will receive an Official PoopReport Fake Poop, courtesy of our friends at...

CONTEST #5: Rename The Bidet -- Vote!
Submitted by Dave
September 7, 2001, 25 Comments

** FIRST PRIZE ** The winner of this contest will receive an Official PoopReport Fake Poop, courtesy of our friends at Feces Farms! Every man should love the bidet. Believe us, there's nothing better than a hot, high-pressure ass scrubbing. Up until now, men usually wouldn't use...

CONTEST #4: Poo Haikus -- final results
Submitted by Dave
August 8, 2001, 15 Comments

For hundreds of years, poets have struggled to encapsulate in words the meaning of human experience. Today, we witness their collective effort brought to fruition. The returns are in. The race was tight from the get-go, but when it all settled, the winner was PROFESSOR LUMP -- by a margin of...

CONTEST #4: Poo Haikus -- final results
Submitted by Dave
August 7, 2001, 3 Comments

This contest is now closed. Please check back tomorrow for the winner...

CONTEST #4: Poo Haikus
Submitted by Dave
May 22, 2001, 48 Comments

This contest is now closed. Go here and see the results! Or, keep reading to see all the original entries. What is more universal than poop? What emotion better transcends the gamut of social, political, economic and geographical spectrums? From the mightiest Pharaoh to the lowliest...

CONTEST #3: Funny Terms for a Rectal Ex
Submitted by Dave
April 9, 2001, 105 Comments

Last week, I went to the doctor for a rectal exam. (Read the story.) During a rectal exam, the doctor sticks his finger up your butt to look for hemorrhoids or other masses that may signify particular health problems. And while a rectal exam is a serious medical procedure, it's also pretty funny...

CONTEST #2: We Need a Slogan
Submitted by Dave
October 5, 2000, 41 Comments

PoopReport.com needs a slogan. Something quick, memorable, and funny that communicates what PoopReport is and what one will find on it. And it would help if it was a pun. Got any good ideas? Some examples: PoopReport. Your #1 source for your #2 business. PoopReport. Where to go when you're not...

CONTEST #1: Name That Feeling
Submitted by Dave
September 27, 2000, 75 Comments

You know that great feeling you get after an especially satisfying poop? You know, where you sit there, unable/unwilling to move, basking in the afterglow of an especially blissful bowel movement? Well, what do you call it? Some ideas: Aftergo Dump drain Enlightenment (get it? enLIGHTENment?)...

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