Who do you find yourself talking to about poop and/or other toilet-related topics most often?

// 54 Comments
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54 Comments on "Who do you find yourself talking to about poop and/or other toilet-related topics most often?"

wonderpance's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

i had to choose my husband. even though i will talk to anyone about poop if it comes up, i'll usually wait for other people to bring it up so i don't come across as some crazy poop-obsessed loon. mr. pance, however, already knows i'm a crazy poop-obsessed loon.
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i love poop.

i love poop.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

I usually talk out loud about poop to myself as I am wandering around the local Walmart. I seem to fit in that way,

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

I mention shit out loud to myself at Walmart but I also mention fuck and stupid bitch too so I think if we are talking about actual poop then that honor would go to the mister. I swear we talk about our bowel movements daily.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points

I have to say the Mister gets the brunt of my poop-missives; however, there are friends and coworkers with whom I have discussed poop at length (but not the length of the poop).

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

I put my wife because we have a daily exchange about our son's bowel habits. He has a ton of bathroom related issues that require our constant monitoring.

I would have marked my co-workers but I don't think telling them that they are full of shit or that they're idea is so lame that they should go soak their head in the crapper is the same as talking about poop and/or other toilet related topics.
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Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I marked other because it is combination of the last three. I don't talk about my poop unless I have a need that requires me to tell a poop related story. If I'm bursting with a poop story I will tell anyone who listen. Only as soon as they find out its about poop they don't to listen.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Only the cats understand me, and their purpose. There is no point trying to discuss it with anyone else.

_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Bilgepump, it is only fitting for you to pose using cat-wipe for one of the months in Daphne's pooppreport calander.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Diarrhea Pants's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Anyone who will listen!

You don't feel like a winner when your butt blows out your dinner.

thenewcoven08's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

We believe in sharing our poop experiences with EVERYONE! Not just our friends. Most often it is our main topic of conversation.

Thunderbox's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

I usually discuss these matters with all the voices I hear in my head.

The voice of sanity

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points

I voted "Anyone who'll Listen".
Being in a (very) low-level managerial position, I don't get much of a chance to discuss poop-related stuff with the co-workers. I can't generally discuss this kinda thing with the people I "manage", because they'd report me, and the people at my level all seem to have higher aspirations, so they pretend to be serious and "above all that shit" (no pun intended).
Which kinda sucks.
Mrs. Mullet is not particularly poop-orientated when sober, so getting a poop-laugh out of her can be an expensive exercise.
Oh well, I can always talk to myself, and tell the dogs while I wrestle 'em...
_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

I voted for "Anyone who will listen", since I seem to have an audience here I am ready to talk, I'm on my way to the bathroom and will be back shortly.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Well...I am back, it was a typical BM that started out with a squeee sound which quickly changed tone to a sploort and then one massive final sploosh. It consisted of several floating chunks of a lovely khaki color that had a distinct aroma which some of you might have found to be offensive. I was going to read my Playboy magazine while I sat there but the pages were all stuck together. Tune in at the same time tomorrow for the further adventures of Chief's O-ring.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

shitake boy's picture
l 100+ points


I primarilly talk about that stuff with Mrs. Shitake, but will on occasion talk with classmates at school about it. I am in school for a career in healthcare, so poop is a normal thing to discuss in the healthcare field. I have a class mate that has IBS like me, so she and I discuss it quite frequently. She is also a friend of mine. Nothing to be embarassed about. We very often know if one another is having a bad IBS day. My wife is use to me "talking shit", and she knows too when I have a bad IBS day. I will be on the toilet frequently, and for longer durations.

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In search of the ever evasive BM

In search of the ever evasive BM

the pooping scholar's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

my wife and i will talk about poop for hours. also, at work i had a long line of friends who came and went that we'd always take a gp together and discuss. i am a private person but i cannot help but tell someone about funny bathroom stuff. it's just too good not to share.

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

The mister was out working yesterday and a woman in one of the warehouses he was at received a text message. He heard her gasp and say a few swears so he inquired what was up. It seems her teenage daughter had just sent her a photo of a massive shit she had just taken and wanted to show it to everyone. Future PR in the making right there....or maybe it was Leandra.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

meowpoo's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

WTF-- what smells? shit!

-- what smells? shit!

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I tell my wife if I'm having any unusual symptoms or products, and she tells me. Aside from that, if it comes up in conversation, I will gladly talk about it; but I rarely bring it up unless it is definitely and obviously appropriate, for fear of seeming too interested. I do enjoy the rare opportunities, though.

Logjam's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Uh, that would be you all.

Logjam

Captain Craptastic's picture
l 100+ points

Coworkers: nurses, doctors, even respiratory therapists who work on another system from the digestive; poop discussion is always relevant in health care. I tell my brother to read my posts on poopreport, especially when I write something interesting. I asked my Dad the other day if he was familiar with the concept of the Shart, and he responded in the affirmative. Mom tells me about the size difference of turds from her little girl cat and the big male tabby (factor of 2-3). Isn't it intereting how cat turds resemble jumbo tootsie rolls with rock sugar? Poop discussion comes up from time to time.
----Captain Craptastic!!!

----Captain Craptastic!!!

pnuttycorn's picture
k 500+ points

Friends and family. I just got back from Florida with my Mom and cousins, and that was the confab every morining. Seems like all of us had rapid moving colons down there on the redenck riviera.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I just got scolded by my aunt for giving details about the stomack I had yesterday. She says it upsets people. It's not socially accepted even with family.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

sp....Please elaborate on the stomack you had yesterday, I have had some trouble tracking down the meaning of the term....thanks.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

I tell poor Mr. daphne if I've made an extremely interesting brown.

What he has to endure to get some tail.

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

kelseyrose's picture
m 1+ points - Newb


i usually talk about poop with my best friend but mostly with my family at the dinner tale....we call it brown humor... it comes up at least once a night at the table but when i try to talk about it to my friends mom she gets all grosed out i dont get why
poopfan!

poopfan!

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

A stomack is a distended stuck gas stomache.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

DungDaddy's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

If I have a conversation longer than 20 minutes, I'm talking about poop or farts. I could be talking with the president or the pope and we would wind up talking about poop after 20 minutes.

My company and our partner signed a $250 million contract on friday, and we were talking about poop before the meeting was over.

slammer's picture

I'm with Dung Daddy on this one

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I get yelled at every time I talk about poop. Noone i know likes to talk about poop.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Jack Schitt's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorl 100+ points

I agree DD. It doesn't matter what the topic is or who is present, all conversations eventually end up being about poop.

Captain Craptastic's picture
l 100+ points

Poor sittingpretty! No one to talk to about our favorite topic!?! That'd be rough! Sounds like you might need to expand your circle of friends to include a few poop-friendly members. Or get a dog! Dogs live to poop and poop is very important to them, among other valuable pursuits like ass-sniffing and cat turd consumption. A faithful canine companion will always enjoy praise for job well done after a nice poop! The morning walk can be a time of bonding with your dog, all from discussion of poop, even if the conversation is one-sided.
----Captain Craptastic!!!

----Captain Craptastic!!!

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Or you could just put Bilge on a leash, same difference.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

I'm not house trained, and I'll hump anything that moves, or doesn't...I"m just not fussy anymore.


_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Just rub his nose in any "accidents" he has SP and a word of advice if he starts to hump your leg its best to just let him finish.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Actually SP, just "peel" it off your leg when dry and you'll save a bunch on razors.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

I had a lonely childhood, dogs wouldn't hump my leg unless they put a sack over my head first.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

It is not easy to expand a circle of friends when one can't be very social. I feel that I have expanded my circle when I joined poopreport. If I get a dog, I will name it Bilgepump.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

aw.....I'm honored, honey.

_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

I'd name mine asshole just so I could yell for him from my front porch. Asshole! Hey Asshole get over here.....on second thought my neighbors might think I was calling them and get confused.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

I wanted to name mine squirt. Not because she was so tiny, but rather so I could yell out "come squirt" in public and not get arrested.

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points

...I wanted to name my dog Stains, for the same reason!
_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

BM, I'm sure you've heard of "A ballad of a dog named Stains" by Red Peters. If not check it out. It's hilarious.

ScreamingAssPiss's picture

I'm in the Army and that got me comfortable with having conversations about poop, while pooping. In basic training the girls and I would decribe color, size, texture, amount of undigested food and so on. I thought at first how I tell my co-worker, Charlie all the time how taking dump on the clock pleases me more than the wings that rumbled my tummy in the first place. Then I thought about how my best friends warn strangers about my poop talk habit and how I grunt obnoxiously loud at my parent's house when my grandma walks by the bathroom and the fact that I don't have boyfriend, probably because I talk about poop. I would be lying if I said I chose one specific person as my victim of poo info overLOAD. I don't know why someone would choose not to talk about poop. You're just not normal dude.

Postman's picture
k 500+ points

PD, did Red Peters go to his doctor and get a penicillin shot for his ailment?

poopylady's picture

my hubby and i always discuss our daily pooping activities!

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I wonder how screaming's type went from black to poo light-brown?
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Postman's picture
k 500+ points

This is one of those subjects that never seems to come up in everyday conversation. So much to be discussed, and yet so much left unsaid.

Bran Lover's picture
k 500+ points

To Captain's O-Ring:

What adventures have passed you by today? Was there a parade? Was it windy? Did you set up a vegetable stand? Any flooding, perhaps? Or, maybe all was quiet and there was no activity at all...


_______
To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

Bran Lover's picture
k 500+ points

Correction: Chief's O-Ring.

_______
To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

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