My Name Says It All

// // 41 Comments
m 1+ points - Newb
0
0

Well, maybe not all of it.

I have had green, foul-smelling diarrhea for a couple of months. Bowel movement frequency and volume are fairly normal, but just very loose and very green -- ranging from very dark green to lime green. Sometimes maybe a bit oily and sometimes kind of gelatinous.

I went to the doctor and she sent me home with a poop collection kit: a little bucket that fits in the toilet, three little jars (pill bottle sized) half-filled with clear fluids, one empty larger cup (three-to-four ounces), and a couple of latex gloves. As per the instructions, I squirted what looked like liquid green pudding from my ass into the bucket and then, with these ridiculously tiny spoons, proceeded to add shit to the three jars until the poop/fluid mixture reached a mark on the side of the jar. Then I filled the cup with the nasty green substance and screwed all the lids on tightly.

While I was digging around in my shit with one of the spoons, I found an object that was kind of shaped like a grape -- kind of oval -- but a little smaller. It was too big to be a bean. It was smooth and the same lime-green color as the rest of my shit, but it was a solid object, not just a ball of shit. I did not swallow any kind of food of that shape.

What the hell is this? Will I need it back?

I still have two eyeballs, two testicles, and tonsils, but I'm a little concerned. I have heard that the liver or gall bladder can excrete crystals or something, but this was definitely nothing crystalline.

Just in case, I added it to one of the little jars. That should entertain the lab technician for a bit.

If you have any thoughts about the green shit in general or about the foreign object in my shit, I would really appreciate it.

Oh, and why did they need so much of my shit?

41 Comments on "My Name Says It All"

Nine Inch Log's picture
k 500+ points

Do you drink a lot of purple gator-aid?

_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Nine Inch Log's picture
k 500+ points

Ugh, sorry for short posts, I am donating blood at the moment

_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Runny GreenShit's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

No purple Gatorade. No dietary changes. No trips outside the country or drinking from streams, lakes, gutters, porta-johns, etc.

No pain, excess gas or anything other than green, runny shit.

Eoz2's picture

What you're describing isn't unheard of - but what I've read about in the past, these have been fatty and white if you squish them. I'm afraid I don't have any more information for you, but if you do a google search ("Bean shaped things in feces" "White faty deposit in poop"), you'll see that you aren't alone. In fact, some of the links you'll turn up will bring you back here.

As for the colour... can't help you. Bile is green, and sometimes my snakes have green poops, but that's as much as I know.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Before my IBS diagnosis, I also had to ladle the bean soup into three jars. I believe it is necessary for performing seperate tests. I can agree it's not a pleasant task. I also suspect food coloring. As for the lump, you should inform the lab/doctor. Good luck. I guess "going green" is not good in this case.

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

you're commenting on green runny shit while donating blood?.....very interesting. I bet the round thing in your shit was the tracking device that the aliens implanted in you and you managed to shit it out.
But seriously I don't think you will need the object you shit out back. Do you have any other symptoms other than the green shits?
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

pleasure kraft's picture

maybe its just a gall stone, did it hurt? pooping a stone though,,hmmmm. Did you take any identification photos? good luck.

Runny GreenShit's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

no other symptoms besides green, RUNNY (sometimes watery) shits.

and the alien implant had occurred to me. I though it might also be an egg from some alien species, although I don't recall being raped by an alien.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Runny, do you take medication? It could be the casing of your medication or it could be a bead. Have you ingested any Mardi gras beads lately?
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Bless you, child. The aliens from the third moon of Jupiter have selected you as the incubator for their Human-Titanian hybrid experiments. That green shit is the amniotic fluid, and the little green turdlet is the alien's post-incubation spore.

So, when and where did you see Elvis?
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Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Bran Lover's picture
k 500+ points

All hail Runny Greenshit! All hail Runny Greenshit!

He is the father of the new race. He should be revered and venerated for all the ages.

(Hey, I have no medical stuff to contribute, so....well...)
_______
To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

Tech support's picture

Technologist, not technician. Say it to a tech and they'll have your head.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

A technologist would one who studies technology, a technician, executes technology. Lab techs are technicians.


_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Now I am confuzzled....I was a Tech sergeant in the Air Force but neither studied nor executed technology.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Chief, in your case, you'll have to consult that oxymoron, Army Intelligence.


_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Does this mean that I, singlehandedly, lost the Vietnam war ???

r>_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Well, I didn't want to point the finger, buddy, but...now that Mcnamara is dead, there is no one else to blame.


_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Bran Lover's picture
k 500+ points

Bilge, are you saying that the Army is a bunch of morons or actually intelligent? ...Or is the Army cleaned of any intelligence with the power of oxygen?

_______
To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

SmudgePot's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

You might want to check the Hot Guy's pit bull poop. It may give you a clue.

Nine Inch Log's picture
k 500+ points

Runny Green Shit, how long have you been pooping green? Have you noticed any lumps before? Personally, I doubt you are sick (or that anything major is wrong with you) but I am glad you are being safe / smart by going to a doctor. Do you take any multi-vitamens, supplaments, herbs? Can you give us an examle of your daily diet? I would suggest keeping a food and poop journal for a week. You would be surprised what those things can reveal. Please keep us posted as the doctor gives results.


_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Nine Inch Log's picture
k 500+ points

MMC, yes. I was commenting on green runny shit while donating blood. I primarily read poop report on my blackberry while walking to / from work and while in the bathroom (which may explain most of the typos). I was walking to work and noticed a red cross blood drive van parked on the side of the road. Figured what the hell and decided to donate. It takes about an hour (including all the paperwork) to donate and I had a lot of waiting time. The comment was posted while the needle was in my arm. Gotta do something to pass the time.


_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Bull Terrier crap smells like shit's picture

how did it end? most definitively it wasn't a gall stone, since they are produced in KIDNEYS and in the gallbladder, neither of which connect to the black eye.

Anonymous Coward's picture

Man, I'd kill to crap like that. My turds are like small rocks and require 30 minutes+ of pushing to remove.

lauren54's picture
l 100+ points

Kind of reminds me of the time I had to help my boy-friend at the time with his stool samples. It wasn't quite as exciting as shitting green fluid with little bean shaped things in it, but I'll tell you when both of you can't see the prospect of digging around in the shitter is quite interesting not to mention trying to get it all into those little jars they give you. If they could just figure out an easier way to get it in.
"I'll shit when I please, not when you tell me to." Nelson Mandela

Everything comes down to poo.

Runny GreenShit's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I had a particulary watery movement this morning and found a few of the little nuggest floating on top. Summoning the necessary courage, I managed to pull one out with a wad of TP (it helped a little, but still got one stinky finger).

Squishing them revealed that they are, in fact, white and cheese-like inside. So maybe they are fatty. I didn't have the courage to taste them.

So, is this normal?

Motherload's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Runny, sounds to me as though you have a case of clostridium difficile bacteria running amok in your gut. This can be caused by you having taken antibiotics for something recently or from having been exposed to someone else that is symptomatic of c-diff.

There are different strains of toxins used in identifying the bacteria which is why more than one sample is requested for testing. You could test negative for one strain but then find out after another more in-depth test that c-diff is definitely the culprit.

Your slimy grape turds are most likely mucus balls caused by overproduction of mucus due to irritation of the intestinal lining by the bacterial overgrowth.

While you wait for your lab results, it wouldn't hurt to run out and get some probiotics. You could try Activia yogurt, or some acidophilus tablets that you can find in the vitamin section at your local pharmacy or grocery store.

If you do test positive for c-diff, you will most likely be prescribed a strong antibiotic. It is VERY IMPORTANT that you take the medicine exactly as your doctor prescribes and completely finish it even if the symptoms clear up. Not completing the course could result in the bacteria building an immunity and becoming resistant to future treatment. Left untreated, c-diff can be fatal, especially in the elderly or immunocompromised individuals. Good Luck.

_______
Always looking out for number two!

Always looking out for number two!

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Do what she says, Runny, she is our Poo Nurse.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Heavy Doodie's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Years ago, I was given a big (2 pounds or more) plastic jar of those brightly colored after-dinner mints. I kept the jar between the front seats of my van, and munched voraciously (3 or 4 at a time--I love mints!) on them while I drove as long as I didn't have anything else to eat, until they were gone. It's a wonder I'm not fat, but I noticed within a day or so that my poop took on a distinctly green tint, rather than its usual brown. It also went from the typical firm logs to a very soft-serve consistency. I quickly attributed this to the mints, although they were white on the inside and had no green or yellow to mix with blue to make green. I wasn't worried about it, and found it rather novel to be making green poops, which ceased shortly after I had devoured the last of the mints. I suspect this is all coincidence, but the description of the lumps in Runny's shit bear a strong resemblance to the size, shape and inner color of those mints. I would not forgo proper medical attention, nor would I dismiss the possibility of a large source of irresistibly yummy mints!

_______
Keep up the crappy work!

Keep up the crappy work!

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I still say the lumpy thingies are pills.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Lumberjack's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I say its cheese! Rennet schmennet, this dude's his own creamery. What will you call it runny?

Bran Lover's picture
k 500+ points

Squeeze it cheese.

_______
To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Smellveeta

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

He could call it The REUSE GREEN CHEESE. I still say its pills.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Runny GreenShit's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Update:

I finally got in to see a gastrointerologist (sp?) for a full colonoscopy.

They tell me that I have ulcerative colitis, which is probably related to my ankylosing spondylitis (arthritis of the spine).

After observing closely, I think the grape-shaped objects are metformin pills that I take at night. But they are probably 4-5 times their original size. And what is the white, cheesy substance inside of them?

BTW, the color changed from green to very, very dark brown and is now a light brown/green mix.

The doc has me on 1 gram of sulfasalazine 3x daily. Hopefully this will help clear things up.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

The stuff inside the pill is what is left after the medication as been removed from the pill, like a filler of some sort.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Bran Lover's picture
k 500+ points

Runny, good luck with all that. Honestly. None of that can feel very good.
_______
To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

Runny GreenShit's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Update: The sulfasalazine didn't do much. My movements got to the point of being almost pure liquid. It was like pouring muddy water into the toilet.

The gastroenterologist put me on samples of something called Asacol. It is supposed to be similar to sulfasalazine, but more effective. I was on it for a week and it seemed to help a little. The consistency became less liquid and more like gravy or maybe even pudding. Even after I ran out of samples, it stayed that way for 2-3 days, but then it was back to the screaming squirts.

The rheumatologist gave me an injection of two steroids (can't remember the names right now) and put me on oral prednisone. Gradually, my stools started to become semi-solid again. For a few days, my poop, although not what I would call "normal", at least resembled turds.

Now, for the last couple of days (after decreasing the predisone dose as prescribed), I've got diarrhea again. And it's green again. Not pure liquid, but about like it was when I first posted my story.

So, I'll called the rheumatologist on Monday. I'm encouraged by the temporary improvement though and hope that I just ate something that disagreed with me.

Thanks for all the help. I'll post updates when I have more to tell.

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points

Perhaps a St Patrick's Day prank by a buddy !

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I looked up "prednisone" on the index and arrived at this thread. I certainly hope RGS has had success with his treatment by this time.

I have been on a 6-day crash course of oral Prednisone--6 pills the first day, 5 the second, and on down to the finish with 1 today (day 6 of the prescription). This is for some gunk in my vocal cords and lungs, both mostly cleared up by now.

During this treatment I have had 1 bowel movement per day (average about 1.7 usually). Each one is large, fairly soft, and quick ("splortt!"), as well as messy to wipe. I am waiting to see if coming days will produce (a) more movements on at least some days, (b) somewhat firmer ones, more like what I'm used to; and (c) more normally paced ones that take a little longer to leave me.

Anyone else with similar (or different) reactions to the 6-day regimen with Prednisone?

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Everyone is different but my wife has been taking predisone for lung problems with no change whatsoever in bowel habits. She started out with a heavy dose which was gradually reduced until a maintenance level was reached.


_______
Dirty old men need love too!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Chief, I can't imagine your poor wife having lung problems with what they've had to endure all these years.

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