Poop Contest #29: The Warming Bidet
American Biffy makes bidet attachments. While I've never used a Biffy, I've used similar products: they hook into your toilet's water line, sit between the toilet seat and the bowl, and provide a gentle cleansing spray whenever you're at your worst. The only problem users have had, however, is that sometimes the spray can be cold.
According to an email they sent out this weekend, Biffy is about to solve this problem with a bidet unit that heats the water to a balmy 98 degrees before spraying your starfish with it. What they don't have, though, is a name.
They're running a contest to see who can come up with the best name for this warm and soothing buttsink. They didn't ask me to post this, but I KNOW that the winner currently resides within our collective brains. They ask you to send your submissions to firstname.lastname@example.org by Friday, September 12 to enter the contest; I ask you to post your entry here as well. They're offering a free warming unit ($179!) to the winner!