Happy Bowels


On the last day that my friends and I would be together before we split for winter break, we went to a sushi buffet restaurant called Yamato. This restaurant had decent sushi and its prices were affordable, and boy can you become full after an hour or two there!

After the buffet, I parted ways with my friends because they were going to the airport and I was going back to my brother, who is a freshman. Freshmen are kicked out of their dorms after a certain time for winter break. I felt completely full but not uncomfortable while waiting for the street car to come. I felt completely fine while on the street car, too. It wasn't until I switched on my next stop that my stomach began to send S.O.S. signals.

By the time I got off the street car, I felt some lower hell pressure building up. I half-ran and half-walked to my brother to get his belongings. We both then fast-walked to the street car area to wait for an incoming street car to arrive.

At this point, my bowels were roaring and my tooter was aggressively trying to release some pressure through toots. I told my brother I really needed to poop only for him to laugh and taunt me.

The street car arrived so I boarded and waited agonizingly for my stop. During the ride, I focused on my tooter harder than I did for all my exams combined. I knew my bowels wouldn't be able to take the wait any longer; I knew I was going to have to run to a toilet in the next few minutes or there was going to be a present appearing in my underwear.

For some reason, my bowels were so happy that I made it to my stop at last, which was an hour and a half after the buffet, that they let loose. I shit myself. I experienced both enormous relief that I pooped and regret for not going home to relieve myself first.

With the feelings of relief and disgust, I waddled across the street car tracks and toward my apartment.

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5 Comments on "Happy Bowels"

ChrisM's picture
l 100+ points

Never eat at a sushi bar that's named after a Japanese battleship. The guns will fuck you up. :D

The ChrisM virus is incompatible with your current operating system. Your system will now be rebooted into DOS and return to the virus.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Great comment ChrisM, Yamato is also the ancient name of Japan and particularly the province of western Honshu where Japanese civilization began and where the early capitals were located; also the clan from which all emperors of Japan are descended, claiming the sun-goddess as ancestor. The Yamato period is often taken as AD 539–710 (followed by the Nara period).

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

the thin brown line's picture
j 1000+ points

"tootamachi" sashimi...be careful!

Somethin' mysterious made an exit from the gift shop.

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

That street car was named Desire. Now it is named Disgusting.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Anonymous's picture

I can hear the ad now: "Brand X Sushi--it's so good you'll shit yourself!"

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