The Uritonnoir: A Male Concert-Goer's Best Friend
If you've ever been to an outdoor concert, then you have most likely waited in line to pee in a smelly, and oft'-filthy, porta-potty. If you're a guy, then you may have decided to pee elsewhere: behind the porta-potty, at the edge of the field, in the parking lot, on someone else's shoes, etc. Well, guess what? Now you can pee into a bale of straw! Meet the Uritonnoir.
Peeing into a bale of straw was never easier.
Thanks to two balding, French, penis-owning geniuses from the Faltazi company, concert-goers who have their own penises can saunter up to a straw bale into which the several Urinnoir models have been inserted. The Urinnoir comes flat, as shown here:
By folding along the dotted lines, one makes a jointed funnel that allows the peer to deposit his recycled beer deep into the bale, and simple chemistry takes over. Thanks to Moonbattery.com, I can explain this without blowing a mental gasket: After drinking beer, you pee into the funnel. The nitrogen in your pee reacts with the carbon in the straw. This extra nitrogen speeds up the decomposition process by what seems to be the natural form of aerobic decomposition. Nitrogen, carbon, and and phosphorus are used by bacteria to break down organic material; therefore, the extra nitrogen added by pee gives them more food, and they do their job better ... or something like that. Later the pee-soaked bales can by used as fertilizer. The funnel comes in propylene currently, and in September will come in stainless steel to "resist climatic changes."
The Uritonnoir allow a concert or festival promoter to reduce the amount of human waste created at the event, and it can accommodate shorter or taller partiers. According to the website, complete compost evolution takes roughly six months, and then local farmers can use the compost to fertilize their fields. Those who purchase the device can even place advertisements on them.
If anyone sees these popping up in the United States this summer, drop us a line or send a picture. Maybe I'll send you a bumper sticker or a poop-like business card holder.