Sweet sixteenth soiree soured by showers of sewage

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Streamers. Presents. Laughter. Pin the Tail on the Donkey. Ice cream. ... Poop? For Jacinda Cambray, yes. Poop.

Last week, Jacinda celebrated her sixteenth birthday with 40 family members and friends in the family's backyard, at a pool party organized by her mother and stepfather, Joe. Things went from happy to crappy for the birthday girl when, according to Joe, "Out of nowhere, from the sky, comes a bunch of feces, lands on her."

Because poop does not normally fall out of the sky, one of Jacinda's relatives suspected airplane waste and used an air traffic smartphone app. At the time the Cambray family's backyard was peppered with the suspicious crapcititation, five airplanes had flown overhead. One of them violated federal regulations by dumping the sewage mid-flight as opposed to on the ground. Luckily for most of the attendants, Joe had the foresight to set up a canopy before the party, and so some of them escaped disaster.

But not everything or everyone was so lucky. Stepdad Joe described the fallout as efficiently awful: "It was brown, it was everywhere, it got on everything ... It looked like, if a hundred birds flew over and went to the bathroom simultaneously, that’s what it would look like."

The pissed-off and pooped-on Cambrays have filed a complaint with the Federal Aviation Administration to investigate the dumping.

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3 Comments on "Sweet sixteenth soiree soured by showers of sewage"

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

They are lucky it was just poop. Things that could cause more damage have been known to fall from planes. I was an air traffic controller in the Air Force and remember the day a WB-50 (a four engine prop plane similar to a B-29) took off from Yokota AB, Japan for a training mission. It was only a few minutes later that the pilot radioed us and said he was returning to the field because he had lost an engine. When an engine is shut down in flight the pitch of the prop is changed so it is aligned with the wind and the engine doesn't windmill and possibly cause more damage. The prop is said to be feathered.

The local controller said, "Understand you're returning with a feathered engine?"

"Negative tower" said the pilot, "we lost an engine, the damn thing fell off."

We notified the crash crew in case there was any further problem and soon the plane came limping in with three props turning and a hole in the wing where the #2 engine had been mounted. Luckily the engine fell on a nearby golf course and did no major damage but a birthday party would have been a disaster area if an engine and prop that size had come plummeting down into its midst.

http://www.skytamer.com/1.2/2001/1016.jpg

So you have an idea how large this piece of metal that plummeted to earth was, the Pratt & Whitney R-4360 was a 28-cylinder four-row air-cooled radial engine that produced 4,300 hp and had a dry weight of 3,870 lbs. If it has landed on a picnic it would probably have splashed all the potato salad out of its container.

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

Jack Schitt's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorl 100+ points

I am a bad poop reporter. I read about this a week or so ago and did not report it like I should have. I don't remember the source, but they actually had pictures of the EZ-up canopy covered in poop.

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

"Pilot to Bombardier. Pilot to Bombardier. We are approaching the target area. Turning control over to you...."

Yo quiero Taco Bell.