Partial Differential Equations


I entered class, sat at a desk, and put my face down into the text book. The instructor waited in cross-legged position on the desk at the front of the room, sporting his sandaled and socked feet, and proudly drinking Seattle coffee. This was the usual scene. Then the instructor began his ramblings about partial differential equations, also as usual.

Some 20 minutes into class, I heard the unique sound of a blurting mustard fart. My head swung up from the book. I looked around the room and saw only faces of students ferociously taking notes and struggling to follow the symbols on the board. They appeared unmoved. I was sure the noise was from the vicinity of the instructor. I doubted the noise and passed it off as the scuffing of his shoe (sandal) on the wall. But there was that quaver in his voice - the tightening of his abdominal muscles. Even so, he didn't seem to miss a beat in his ramblings.

Some three minutes later the noise returned. This time, there was no confusion. His voice clenched and ceased ... the mathematics instructor was shitting his pants loudly and heartily, with robust and textured noises that a foley artist could well appreciate. In these moments of bewilderment, there were short pauses of silence, then the distinctive sound of crap splattering onto the inside of his pants. He was bent over all weird. He took a step toward the door and the enormous noise was born again. Pause. Then finally, with great vitality, he marched toward the door in a bent over position. Crap was abound.

He was gone. The grin on my face was unethically unsympathetic. As I searched the room to find solace in such wickedness, once again, I only received images of students, perturbed, but distracted by their own confusion.

Ten minutes passed in the instructor-less room. Most of us remained in the room going over material. And then...

...wearing shorts, chalk in hand, the brave instructor jogged back into the room. Without a glance at the students, he resumed where he left off to finish the class when the clock tower chimed, as usual.

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5 Comments on "Partial Differential Equations"

ChrisM's picture
l 100+ points

The old boy's got some balls, that's for sure, to come back and keep going like he had only gone out for a pee.

The ChrisM virus is incompatible with your current operating system. Your system will now be rebooted into DOS and return to the virus.

runninggrrl2's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

Yeah, he probably shouldn't have had that coffee...

An apple a day keeps the ExLax away!

the thin brown line's picture
j 1000+ points

a2 + b2= a load in your pants.

Somethin' mysterious made an exit from the gift shop.

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

P * 1001 = P00P

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Poop John the First's picture
l 100+ points

I admire him for continuing with the lecturd but I must say the students sure had to put up with a lot of shit from the instructor.

Spreading the turd one poop at a time.

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