Partial Differential Equations
I entered class, sat at a desk, and put my face down into the text book. The instructor waited in cross-legged position on the desk at the front of the room, sporting his sandaled and socked feet, and proudly drinking Seattle coffee. This was the usual scene. Then the instructor began his ramblings about partial differential equations, also as usual.
Some 20 minutes into class, I heard the unique sound of a blurting mustard fart. My head swung up from the book. I looked around the room and saw only faces of students ferociously taking notes and struggling to follow the symbols on the board. They appeared unmoved. I was sure the noise was from the vicinity of the instructor. I doubted the noise and passed it off as the scuffing of his shoe (sandal) on the wall. But there was that quaver in his voice - the tightening of his abdominal muscles. Even so, he didn't seem to miss a beat in his ramblings.
Some three minutes later the noise returned. This time, there was no confusion. His voice clenched and ceased ... the mathematics instructor was shitting his pants loudly and heartily, with robust and textured noises that a foley artist could well appreciate. In these moments of bewilderment, there were short pauses of silence, then the distinctive sound of crap splattering onto the inside of his pants. He was bent over all weird. He took a step toward the door and the enormous noise was born again. Pause. Then finally, with great vitality, he marched toward the door in a bent over position. Crap was abound.
He was gone. The grin on my face was unethically unsympathetic. As I searched the room to find solace in such wickedness, once again, I only received images of students, perturbed, but distracted by their own confusion.
Ten minutes passed in the instructor-less room. Most of us remained in the room going over material. And then...
...wearing shorts, chalk in hand, the brave instructor jogged back into the room. Without a glance at the students, he resumed where he left off to finish the class when the clock tower chimed, as usual.