Stories About Poop
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A Poopreport Short: A Yuletide Nudge
Submitted by paul
May 3, 2011, 4 Comments

One Christmas when I was younger something happened that I never told to my family. I went to the bathroom for a wee and the water in the toilet was very frothy, so I assumed that my mom had just put some cleaner in the bowl. I peed and then flushed. When the water went down I could see a huge...

Hush
Submitted by Speedpooper
April 29, 2011, 14 Comments

I was sixteen and trying to get my best friend into weightlifting. I was really into it, but he never had really tried it, even though there was a set of weights and bench at his house for some reason – a really cheap and crappy set. It was one of those sets where there is a barbell and a couple...

Zero Degrees Of Separation
Submitted by the thin brown line
April 28, 2011, 12 Comments

Bacon-wrapped hot dog venders are culinary angels. On any given evening in Los Angeles, you will find a little flat-top cooker cart emitting a sweltering aroma of sizzling bacon and hot dogs. Some of these cooks are colorful characters. I've seen many turn over the dogs with quick tong action...

A Narrowly Avoided Cathtastrophy
Submitted by runninggrrl2
April 27, 2011, 11 Comments

I'm usually quite the regular pooper – I go at least once a day and my fiber intake is well above that of the average American. However, I had gotten myself into the habit of taking three or four over-the-counter diuretic pills a day for a few months because I was convinced it was helping me keep...

I Am Sorry, Sir
Submitted by Anonymous
April 27, 2011, 9 Comments

I was thirty at the time. My wife had just had a new baby, who was four weeks old, and I took time off work to be with her and my wife Tam. The night before I had be to back to work we went out for Chinese up the road. I made a pig of myself. Spring rolls, sung choi boi, sweet and sour pork and...

Seven Pairs of Failure
Submitted by MR Mcpoopypants
April 21, 2011, 15 Comments

This is a story on how I went through seven pairs of underpants in two days. My tale began at the end of March. My family was passing a stomach bug around from one to another like it was in style. Although I never was in the same room with any of my family members that were sick, I somehow came...

A Stink You Could Cut Through
Submitted by Speedpooper
April 18, 2011, 16 Comments

About ten years ago, I was almost a daily regular at one particular Outback Steakhouse. That particular proprietor really knew how to run a great establishment. This is one of the very few incidents that left a bad taste in my mouth (and nose), although it was not the fault of the staff. I had...

Oofta!
Submitted by Baked Beans Baker
April 15, 2011, 17 Comments

My friend Judd and I loved going to the gym when we were about eleven or twelve years old. Judd was a little obese, and the gym was an old high school that had been converted to a workout place. It had a weight room, basketball court, and a pool; that it was an old abandoned school, which made it...

A Bidet To Remember
Submitted by Chaser
April 15, 2011, 17 Comments

I woke one morning expecting that I would get up and take my regular morning shit, to endure awful straining and screeching, until the crappy turd would come flying out of my ass with such force that I might feel as if I would fly off the toilet seat. Thinking that this morning would be the same,...

A Poopreport Short: The Exitorcist
Submitted by Poodunkey
April 15, 2011, 3 Comments

I was river rafting last summer at camp when we had come to a slow in the current. It was a very serene experience, and maybe because he was inspired by his surroundings our counselor decided to break the peace with this lovely story about his college experiences. He was sitting in the cafe,...

Feek Impact
Submitted by Speedpooper
April 12, 2011, 20 Comments

I have seen almost everyone on this site refer to his own pooping habits as either shameful or shameless. If I have to classify myself, I'd pick shameless, although a more accurate word would be “militant”. I don't use that word in the same way that you think of Hamas or the Muslim Brotherhood as...

My Anus Demon
Submitted by D Assman1972
April 11, 2011, 15 Comments

Like many of you, I've been suffering with an itchy butt for about four years now. It started with my getting an itch after each bowel movement. A bad itch. I soon figured out that if I just hosed myself off in the shower with a hand held shower head (what I've come to refer as "shpritizing...

A Poopreport Short: Fooling Mom
Submitted by woahbro
April 9, 2011, 10 Comments

The other day I had to poop the entire day in school, but I refuse to use the bathrooms there, so I waited -- all six hours. After school, I sprinted home from the bus stop and went straight for our bathroom. I had to go so badly I can't explain it. I whipped my shorts down and sat, and it was a...

Nuclear Boy Teaches Japanese Children Ab
Submitted by daphne
April 7, 2011, 8 Comments

Poopreporter Montreal Gal sent us a link to a Youtube video recently that is being shown to Japanese children to teach them about what's going on with their nuclear reactors and how they've been affected by the tsunami and earthquake. It's less than five minutes long, and it's cute as hell, so I'm...

An Unwanted Escort
Submitted by olivenpewter
April 1, 2011, 17 Comments

I've read stories on Poopreport from runners who get stuck outside and have to poop in someone's bushes or yard because they are so far from home. Sometimes runners are too far from fast food restaurants or gas stations, too. I try to run in urban places for safety. I also run in urban places...

I Shat In My Parents' Bushes
Submitted by Lady of Poop
March 24, 2011, 18 Comments

Let me begin this story with some background. I was 23 years old at the time of the incident. I have had previous bouts with IBS and marathon pooping was not unknown to me. In the prior months leading up to the incident I had broken up with a boyfriend and moved back in with my parents. Feeling...

A Poopreport Short: Scott Pancake'
Submitted by Pepper
March 23, 2011, 10 Comments

I thought I had heard it all, that is, until my high school teacher recounted to the class a strange tale from his feckless college years. The story is as follows: While visiting a friend at a different college, my teacher happened upon a huge fraternity party. The boys were collecting...

A Distinct Scentimental Value
Submitted by HugeDumperDude
March 23, 2011, 16 Comments

I had been dating my now wife for less than two months. I take a while to warm up to people, and I was still in that stage of the relationship where I wasn't quite acclimated to my girlfriend. I was still scared to death of farting around her. (Now I fart around her all the time, much to her...

Wrath Of The GBBG
Submitted by the thin brown line
March 21, 2011, 16 Comments

Destination Lucky Baldwins is an English pub and fare located in Pasadena, California. No spirits are served. If your thirst and loyalty are begging for kegged American Budweiser, Silver Bullet, or High Life then you go somewhere else. The Belgiums dominate the tap system, but 63 semi-rotating...

Cheese Whiz
Submitted by ChiefThunderbutt
March 16, 2011, 18 Comments

I love to eat foods that are very flavorful, and many flavorful foods are imbued with a strong odor. Limburger cheese is one of those foods. In the early part of the twentieth century it was one of the most popular cheeses in America. Although it has since fallen from popularity it still has...

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