Stories About Poop
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Down Under Problems Down Under
Submitted by Generic-Person
August 25, 2011, 5 Comments

For the first time I took a trip to Australia and was blessed with encountering good weather, nice people, lots of beer, plenty of fun, and decent food. Australia is a great vacation destination by any definition. Normally every day at 9:30 my bus gets backed out of the garage, wind, rain or...

A Mess By Any Other Name
Submitted by Billsky
August 23, 2011, 5 Comments

A couple of years ago I was working as a dishwasher at a nice family restaurant. Part of my job was to clean the bathrooms every night. One night in particular stands out. The restaurant was more or less empty, except for a decent-sized family gathering. I was just about finished cleaning the...

Amateur Night
Submitted by Brentsfriend
August 19, 2011, 10 Comments

When I was twenty-one years old I went to a bar with my two best friends and had my first legal drink. I had drunk alcohol before like everyone else, but this was my first drink in a bar with my driver’s license and being able to sit at the bar with all the other patrons. One drink led to another...

Fifteen Sausages
Submitted by PeteMc
August 17, 2011, 14 Comments

In 2004 I ate fifteen sausages, the Irish-breakfast kind, from a bowl of grease. The evening passed normally and I went to bed. The following morning I woke with a heavy feeling in my gut. I recognized the feeling, but while it was clearly nowhere near suggesting that there was a turtle head...

Tinley Park Amphitheatre: Putting The P
Submitted by MCasa
August 16, 2011, 9 Comments

I just got back from a Brad Paisley and Blake Shelton concert at the First Midwest Bank Ampitheatre, in Tinley Park, an area just outside of Chicago. If you visit the link, you'll see that the site owners claim this is the "largest outdoor concert venue in the Midwest". You will also see a...

Submitted by DeFeo
August 10, 2011, 6 Comments

Sometimes life hits you with unexpected punches, and this is a lot more likely to happen when you have IBS. During a recent trip to a weekend adventure camp, I paid the price for forgetting that fact. It was while I was being instructed on the mountainside zip-line that I felt the first prophetic...

Pacific Ocean Poo
Submitted by the thin brown line
August 9, 2011, 16 Comments

El Matador beach is located in the Malibu area of Los Angeles; if you blink while driving on Pacific Coast Highway you will miss the turn off. The beach’s parking lot is not paved. Two port-o-poopers are at the top of the steep, and from there a pathway trickles down to the Pacific Ocean. The...

Poopsicle Sticks: Some Real Historical
Submitted by ChiefThunderbutt
August 3, 2011, 7 Comments

Toilet paper has been with us for centuries, although it really only came into its own in the late 19th century. Before that, different cultures around the world had used a multitude of different substances to maintain an acceptable amount of cleanliness around their lower vents. Mosses,...

Reward: Missing Boxer Shorts, Heavily Sk
Submitted by Deja Poo
August 1, 2011, 15 Comments

What kind of sick bastard steals a man's soiled skivvies? Monday, after the gym, I parked my bike at the local bus stop on my way to work. During this workout Laura, the Queen of Pain, ran my ass so hard that I practically shit my shorts. The aforementioned skivvies were clean when I got to the...

Ass Backwards
Submitted by SCarroll
July 30, 2011, 11 Comments

While stealthing a Carrefour yesterday, nature surely did call. After convincing the guards to allow me to leave my cart with them during prayer time and making them promise to let me back in before it was over, I adjourned to the nearest water closet. "Yes!" I proclaimed, "Western-style toilets...

Mum's Modeling Behavior
Submitted by doody84
July 28, 2011, 4 Comments

After a big home-cooked meal at my mothers, my daughter and I started our 15-mile drive home. A few minutes into the drive I could feel that home-cooked making its way down. I was gonna' need more room and the thats when the grumbling started. For a minute I considered turning around, but I didn't...

Dueling Buttholes
Submitted by andrewh
July 22, 2011, 10 Comments

One at a time, please!I'm sixteen years old and have a story about a time that I had to poop on a fishing boat. My friend Eric and I went on a boat fishing for the first time without our parents. We paid to get on a huge charter boat with fifty other people, one where everyone drops lines over the...

A Wild Hair In His Ass
Submitted by itssorunny
July 21, 2011, 13 Comments

They cause all sorts of trouble.This is the story of how I shit myself at the age of 25, and how my shame was overcome with the love of a good woman. Before I give you details of the incident, I need to give you a bit of background about me. You could call me something of a hypochondriac, and I've...

A Very Festive Fecalith
Submitted by MethuselahTurd
July 20, 2011, 7 Comments

Even Martha Stewart would be impressed with this project.Hi there everyone; Methuselah Turd here to bring you another sought-after story of impaction fun! This impaction came shortly after the first impaction that I wrote about, humbly named Methuselah Turd. This story also exists thanks to the...

A Poopreport Short: Kids Doo The Darnde
Submitted by KatieK
July 18, 2011, 18 Comments

When I was about ten, I lived in an apartment building. I got along with all my neighbors except one. I'm not sure why I hated this guy so much. I suppose it was because he smoked like a chimney, he yelled at the neighborhood strays, and I just thought he was stupid in general. Anyway, when we...

Shit'n Spin
Submitted by Notorious P.O.O.P
July 15, 2011, 15 Comments

In uptown Pittsburgh, in an old bar by the hockey arena, stands a bathroom with Poop Traumatic Stress Disorder. If if were possible for this bathroom to kill itself, I believe it would do just that. It's not a very large room, but it has seen many a battle. On a daily basis this stall-less, one-...

An Unforgettable Shart
Submitted by SHARTICLES
July 13, 2011, 13 Comments

I have always felt humorously toward shat for as long as I can remember, but there was one night in my childhood when I did not feel this way, one night back in grade five that turned my humor into a real shitty situation. Though I am twenty now, there was this one weekend which I will never --...

Those Crappy Golden Tears
Submitted by lincolnlawgs
July 12, 2011, 10 Comments

I married my wife ten years ago and have never regretted it. She's a wonderful woman. She's a great mom, a fantastic wife, and a decent person all the way around. Her sister is another story. I do not mind her sister "Sally", but I would not socialize with her if I had the choice. To be honest...

A Poopreport Short: Fido Cleans Up
Submitted by Krusty
July 11, 2011, 6 Comments

One warm summers day, my ex-wife and I were in town to do a bit of shopping. The drive home lasts 25 minutes, and I had a ripper of a stomach ache, so just before we left town I decided to drive to my mother's and use her toilet. Unfortunately, mum was out, and I had left my keys to her place at...

A Bomb In Home Depoo
Submitted by Assterblaster
July 6, 2011, 31 Comments

I went to the Home Depot recently, while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented You're Definitely Going To Shit Yourself road kill chili. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of...

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