Stories About Poop
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PF Chang's Strikes Again
Submitted by Crap Ninja
January 28, 2012, 3 Comments

The last time I visited my cousin and her husband I was told a story I will never forget, so now I am sharing it with the world. I’m changing the names to protect the guilty. I was out for a few drinks with cousin “Jane” and her husband “Shawn,” and we were laughing, having a good time, and joking...

Impoosible! Moi?
Submitted by Phooey
January 22, 2012, 16 Comments

I am so healthy I think I made my self sick! The first doctor thought I may have given myself a hernia from yoga. My fiber intake was only matched by my commitment to drinking non-caffeinated teas. I can put people half my age to shame in all those Les Mills classes with aplomb. These little...

Baggin' It
Submitted by The Big Wiper
January 20, 2012, 9 Comments

My companion has had diverticulitis for several years now. For those unfamiliar with the condition, it's an inflammation of benign, pocket-like growths on the intestines; in the most severe cases, the diverticuli can interfere with absorption and general gastro-intestinal health. People with the...

In Like A Lamb, Out At The Food Lion
Submitted by Four-Star
January 17, 2012, 10 Comments

Two years ago we took a family vacation to the outer banks of North Carolina with some friends. The husband half of one the other couple hails from the Cincinnati, Ohio area. Proud of his pedigree, he decided to share the “crown jewel” of the Queen City with the entire group -- Goldstar Chili. I...

Mum Broke The Log Jam
Submitted by debbiedespoo
January 14, 2012, 14 Comments

My mother only told me this story a few days ago about something that happened to her shortly after she got married. She and Dad were living in a less expensive area in Grand Junction,Colorado where Dad then worked. He would walk to work, and Mum had the car for shopping, etc. She told me that...

The Other Side Of The Door
Submitted by The Mighty Methane
January 9, 2012, 5 Comments

Well, it all started on a normal Sunday morning. I had been on a session the night before and I probably had some kebab or eaten something dodgey! ...or was it the vodka and lime. I will never know.... Whatever the case, I felt an ,shall we say, unusual twinge in my tummy. I ignored for a...

Some Christmas Cheese To Go With Your Pi
Submitted by Deja Poo
January 7, 2012, 5 Comments

Editor's Note: Sometimes we discuss farts, too. This story popped up in the Fart Reports of our forums, courtesy of Deja Poo. I took the Papoopse out to lunch today. I got up extra early, worked from home for seven hours while watching my sick kid and, when it came time to fix lunch, decided...

The Perils Of Improperly Interring Poop
Submitted by Throwaway
January 4, 2012, 3 Comments

One of the unfortunate facts you will encounter while backpacking in the wilderness is that there is an unavoidable lack of toilets. The pooping procedure we have been taught is to dig a hole around two hundred feet from any trails or campsites, go in it, and then bury the poop by filling the hole...

Three Poopreport Shorts: Restrooms I
Submitted by the thin brown line
December 29, 2011, 8 Comments

Hillcrest Bloodfest One never expects opening a restroom door to a bloodfest, but that's what I did one night in the Hillcrest area of San Diego. This was 1999, and I was a regular patron at The Lamplighter. The bar served cheap cocktails and at the time offered free billiards during the...

Unsexy: Sharting The Bed
Submitted by Olga
December 23, 2011, 13 Comments

Oh man. With the neurological problems that affect my gut, the occasional shart is not unfamiliar. Luckily these sharts have always occurred at home when I am alone, and as such, the subsequent pants ruining is easy to deal with. Then came the day. I snuggled in bed one morning with a...

Submitted by crohnsplosion
December 21, 2011, 7 Comments

When I was in high school I had this weird shit dichotomy going on. I had no problem shitting at home around my many siblings, but as soon as I crossed the threshhold to my high school I became overcome with a fear of dropping a deuce; the fear consumed me. I know it was because I was afraid that...

A Poopreport Short: Black Friday
Submitted by IBSSUCKS
December 14, 2011, 9 Comments

This year's Thanksgiving Day was like every other: My wife's sister, her family and our good friends came over, and everyone ate a lot. By two p.m. I was ready for a healthy shit and a nap before the black Friday craziness began. Later, I was sitting at the computer desk finalizing my list for...

Ass Piss
Submitted by pullmyfunnybone
December 13, 2011, 10 Comments

When I worked in Corporate America I had to restrain myself in meetings from leaping across the table and shouting “Sic semper tyrannis!” and strangling the manager facilitating the meeting. So to occupy myself I would focus on how I could provide a thoughtful, intelligent comment, one that would...

Swimming With The Dolphins
Submitted by Poop John the First
December 9, 2011, 11 Comments

My wife and I were traveling in Thailand around the Phuket province a few years ago. If you are not familiar with this area it's known for its great diving and snorkeling. We're not divers, but we sure love to snorkel. Anyway, we drove to a very remote, pristine beach, one with a glass-top,...

Thin Poop Can Be Bad Poop
Submitted by daphne
December 8, 2011, 3 Comments

This week I received an email from someone who wanted to know if he should be worried about some thin poop: I have been having thin stools coupled with straining, and an almost constant pressure or discomfort in a small area of my middle left abdomen that sometimes turns to pain. The size of the...

A Shot in the Dark
Submitted by Feakspeare
December 7, 2011, 2 Comments

A particular memory will forever haunt me and remind me of how important it is to know where a nearby toilet is. When I was a bright freshman in high school I had a serious case of nervous bowels. All too often, I would be seized by stomach cramps and the need to poop anytime I was nervous about...

The Grapes of Wrath
Submitted by pullmyfunnybone
November 30, 2011, 8 Comments

I have always loved concord grapes; some might even say to a fault. And now that fall is upon us and the concord grapes are plentiful, I am reminded of a first date I had with a gentleman seven years ago. Several hours prior to embarking on our date I had consumed two large containers -- two...

The Front Lawn Fiasco
Submitted by pullmyfunnybone
November 28, 2011, 8 Comments

When I was 18 all four of my wisdom teeth were removed at once. When I left the hospital, a staff member handed me a bottle of narcotics and said, "Here, take these for pain." So I did. A week later my friends and I were invited to a party in New Hampshire, where our friend Margaret's sister...

Unconscious Train Ride
Submitted by Anonymous
November 21, 2011, 4 Comments

This happened to a friend of mine. I don't doubt the fecal facts due to its being something I've come to expect from him. After a big night of clubbing, my friend was really drunk. This is nothing unusual for him, especially if he goes out on Friday nights after work. He had wasted all his money...

Bubble Tea Blowout
Submitted by Go When You Can
November 18, 2011, 21 Comments

I was introduced to Asian bubble tea while in university. Essentially it's tea with flavored powder and large tapioca balls mixed into it. While I loved the flavor of the drink, I was not prepared for what was coming later on one evening. After a regular night out with my friends having bubble...

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