Stories About Poop
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Good Ol' Prison Poop
Submitted by Anonymous
May 23, 2012, 3 Comments

Let's begin this tale of crappery with a lovely arrival at the Intake Service Center in Rhode Island Adult Corrections Institute. This is where you either await trial or await transfer to where you are sentenced. As you can imagine, prison isn't exactly where the state splurges its extra money on...

The Guinness Hurly Whirlies
Submitted by ScottishGirl
May 19, 2012, 17 Comments

Being Scottish, I have a very high tolerance for alcohol. I can easily put away 20 bottles of beer or a bottle of rum, vodka, or tequila on a night out, and I like to smoke a bit of weed with it, too. I am proud of my iron constitution and almost never get the shits or puke as a result of these...

The Harbor Freight Incident
Submitted by Anonymous
May 15, 2012, 5 Comments

My dad and I went to the local Harbor Freight Tool store to check out one of their sales. My dad is 64, has prostate issues, and can let out a ripping fart at will, so I never know what kind of prank or stunt he will pull anywhere. He told me, "Son, I've gotta go take a leak real quick. I'll be...

My Squatting Experiment.
Submitted by ScottishGirl
May 11, 2012, 7 Comments

When I was 17, I had a relationship with a much older man who happened to be a Pakistani Muslim. While I live in Scotland, he lived in England, and I used to take a ten-hour bus journey to visit him once a month or so. (I say he was a Muslim, but he certainly wasn't a very devout one; although he...

A Smidge Too Far
Submitted by The Phantom of ...
May 9, 2012, 3 Comments

"Designate a place outside the camp where you can go to relieve yourself. As part of your equipment have something to dig with, and when you relieve yourself, dig a hole and cover up your excrement." - Deuteronomy 23 After a pleasant afternoon's shopping and some fish and chips for tea, I began to...

Tasteless In Texas: A Poop Bandit
Submitted by Anonymous
May 9, 2012, 14 Comments

In July of 2009 I attended my family reunion in Addison, Texas. During that time I was taking an herbal supplement called "Colon Cleanse," because when I travel I tend to become a little irregular. This supplement was not a laxative; it provided fiber and probiotics that helped keep me regular...

A Poopreport Short: Popn' Chunk
Submitted by Anonymous
May 2, 2012, 10 Comments

In middle school, my friends and I were very mischievous. One night, we went to go hang out and cause mischief around the school. On this night we found that the sixth graders had left their catapults outside, which were used to fling tennis balls as far as they could go. My best friend had to...

An Inner Demon
Submitted by Sammie_W
May 1, 2012, 10 Comments

Let me start by telling you that I consider by bowels to be fairly strong, and I can lug around a fair bit of the brown goo before having to evacuate, but this experience -- this was something else. Like an inner demon... It was almost four p.m., and I was sitting in a college class on the...

A Shitty Birthday
Submitted by crohnsplosion
April 27, 2012, 9 Comments

Last Monday was my birthday, and I woke up much later than usual, at 7:30. My three year-old wakes up at around six every morning, which is just fine with me, because I am a bit of a lark as well. I also really love having coffee with my husband before he leaves for work at 6:30, so I get up...

The Accidental Terrorist
Submitted by Anonymous
April 25, 2012, 4 Comments

For the record, I am not a turd terrorist, nor have I ever affiliated or consorted with terrorists. But for the parties affected by my unfortunate mishap, I doubt they would ever believe otherwise. And I wouldn't blame them. So be it. The story began at about six a.m. I was outside. The sun...

Poop Report Confirms US Navy Phantom Shi
Submitted by Dr. Dumpster
April 24, 2012, 6 Comments

I recently recalled a "phantom shitter" who gained wide notoriety on the USS Canisteo, AO-99, a Cimarron fleet oiler, and so I decided to Google "US Navy phantom shitter." And what to my wondering eyes should appear but "The Poop Report." I was amazed that what I had always thought was a mostly a...

I Left My Poop In Florida
Submitted by Anonymous
April 11, 2012, 9 Comments

A few years ago while my husband was in temporary training for the Navy, we lived in a antiquated apartment complex in a low income area of Florida. We didn't have a whole lot of money since I had to quit a job to move down with him, and we were saving for our eventual move out of state, so we got...

Breaking the Law....
Submitted by Anonymous
March 20, 2012, 19 Comments

I'm not really a shameful shitter but I do follow the regular bathroom rules. Those rules involve but are not limited to the following: 1. Do not stand between two men at a urinal, and only take one next to a guy if that is the only option... and avoid eye contact. 2. Do not -- I repeat -- do...

Poo Pearls
Submitted by The Ass-istant
March 6, 2012, 10 Comments

I work in a histology laboratory preparing surgical specimens that have been removed -- growths like skin cancers, breast lumps, and appendices. They are cut up and processed to examine under the microscope for diagnosis. At least one colectomy comes to us daily. Colectomies come as tubes...

Privacy
Submitted by Grimstuff
February 23, 2012, 6 Comments

I’ve had shy bowels for pretty much as long as I can remember. At thirteen years of age it was routine for me to grab Tolkien's The Two Towers and read through forty pages in one shitting. I might as well do something with all that time, I thought, and the floors and walls and backs of shampoo...

This One's For The Corps
Submitted by Major Minor
February 21, 2012, 5 Comments

In 2009, I decided very late in life to join the Few and the Proud. I was 24 years old, highly motivated, and willing to do anything to do so, including dropping ungodly amounts of weight. After running, bleeding, and sweating to drop weight for my recruiter and his boss (the SNCOIC, or Senior...

Fake Or Real: Stinky Sink?
Submitted by Number One Son
February 10, 2012, 14 Comments

Editor's Note: We received this story and did not know what to think. Since the website's inception I do not remember ever reading a post, comment, or story about someone catching his mother in this type of predicament. So we ask the readers today for their opinions: Is this fake or real? I'm...

One in 133: Celiac Disease And Me
Submitted by Rick G
February 7, 2012, 21 Comments

One in 133. Without knowing what that means, one would think those are pretty good odds for, say, winning the lottery or getting struck by lightening. Your odds of cutting yourself shaving have actually been calculated at one in 6,585, so anything that happens once in one hundred and thirty-three...

The Christmas miracle
Submitted by Anonymous
February 2, 2012, 22 Comments

This happened a few years back when I was in high school, but it's still something I remember with morbid relish to this day and probably forever more. It was a Saturday morning, the day after Christmas, and I was at swim practice. This time of year was particularly awful because our practices...

Pride Cometh Before The Fall
Submitted by Runswithaload
January 31, 2012, 10 Comments

While I wouldn't say I necessarily have a digestive problem, I will say that I have had a lifelong knack for getting caught in the middle of nowhere when my bowels start churning with no lead time to plan to go in a proper location. Perhaps it has something to do with my adventurous nature: I...

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