Shameless Shitting and Cross-stall Conversation

PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

We've discussed the concept of shameless
in great detail. A shameless shitter, if you recall, is one who has
no qualms about walking into a bathroom and doing their business, regardless of who
may be in there to see or hear them do it.

Doniker's evolution from a shameful shitter into a shameless shitter is also much discussed. However, today Doniker
introduces a new wrinkle into the shameless shitting saga: cross-stall

"Shameless Shitters never fail to amaze me. Maybe I just envy them so damn much.

"There is this guy at my work named Todd. Todd is a little strange, but no
stranger than anyone else. Todd and I talk on occasion, and the conversations usually
consist of us bitching about how fucked up our company is. One time Todd discussed his
operation to remove a cancerous tumor from his nutsack. It was a painful thing to

"Todd's favorite subject is insulting my boss. Todd doesn't even work for the
guy, and I sometimes think Todd hates my boss more than I do. Well earlier today, I
was in the bathroom taking a piss. In walks Todd. He says hello to me and enters
a stall.

"After dropping his drawers and sitting down, he lets out this massive
fart, which was amplified my the toilet bowl. He then yells out "that was a kiss
for your boss." I said "gee thanks" and quickly got the hell out of there.

"No. 1, I didn't want to smell Todd's gas and No. 2, I don't want to have a conversation
with a guy while he has his mutilated balls exposed to the open air!"

Doniker touches on a subject we've all experienced. Who among us hasn't
awkwardly tried to avoid conversations with the person sitting in the next stall? Or, conversely, who among us can't understand why bathroom time is so sacred
that we're not allowed to communicate to the people in the immediate vicinity? Does the shameless shitter doctrine allow for cross-stall conversations, or is that just going too far?

-- Doniker and Dave

Like Doniker? He's featured in The Journal of Ass Production!

56 Comments on "Shameless Shitting and Cross-stall Conversation"

Dave's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

Shameless shitter or not, to me, cross-stall conversation is a no-no. When I'm in the bathroom, I'm either focusing on the task at hand, or I'm reading. Talking is not an option.

G Ras's picture
l 100+ points

One time I was in a stall along side a fellow pooper

Perhaps I am an asshole and so much time has pass you probably won't even read this .... but in my defense.... this site is all about funny stuff that happens to us about shit in the course of everyday living.... and may I say in my story I too got shit

Pooper Man's picture

In school us guys talk all the time. But when we were in elementary school we had curtain to separate the stalls. When we started talking to someone we could just push the curtains away. Man did us kids stink the bathroom up. Don't even get me started on my teachers and principal.

hammer's picture

A couple weeks ago some friends and I were staying in a yurt at the Oregon coast. After a night of drinking and eating fried this and that two of us took a walk to the communal bathroom. The girls and one guy stayed behind. There were two stalls and Frank and I occupied them both. Our grunting and growling was about the only conversaton we had. Frank got up and left before I did. Within a minute someone else came in to the bathroom and sat on the pooper. A few moments later I hear a distinct, but fake, British accent exclaim "Gawd it stinks in 'ere." From a previous story I immediately realized this was my friend Jones that had stayed behind in the yurt. After an awkward silence my stall neighbor blurted, "it's not like we can help it." Attempting to quell my laughter I got up and walked to the sink where Jones was brushing his teeth. I leaned in close and said, "you know, frank left the bathroom a few minutes ago" Jones, thinking his friends got the joke, turned red and ran out the door. I followed and found Frank waiting outside, unaware of what had occured. He found it hilarous, especially when Jones, really having to shit, took a shower instead to hide from the poor fella in the unknown stall.

Wolfbait's picture

Rarely..very Rarely will i have a shitter convo...if I say anything it usually is a Truck Stop old man prune juice blowout about 10am...I'll say something wise-cracker'ish...somntimes too if it's anybody who has a continous free flowing water bomb...that always gives me achuckle to hear that..poor soul!

Dave's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

Today I walked into the bathroom and spotted my CEO at the urinal. I had to crap, so I hurried behind him to the stall, thinking "please don't see me, please don't see me" but just as i got into the stall, he said "is that Dave?" Sure is, buddy. So he talked to me for a few minutes about stupid work stuff while i sat on the toilet with my pants down, waiting for him to leave so i could start my business. Unacceptable!

doniker's picture
j 1000+ points

he should be ashamed of himself, but I guess to become a successful businessman you gotta be a little bold !!

Amy Thompson's picture

Was this Todd from Marion, Illinois?

robert's picture

u do not really need to b naked to poo. some ppl said they did in the above letters like about the man with his op on his balls etc., but some folk poo thorugh a hole in their boxers like a pee through a fly. talking to someone in the bathroom doesnt mean they r naked really

FakePoopManufacturer's picture

There's been two thing that I've never been able to understand. First, WHY DO PEOPLE READ WHILE THEY SHIT. Shitting does NOT take very long. 2-3 minutes for me and 4 when I take a long shit. There's no point in reading. Just focus on the task at hand, and no problem... What the hell are you gonna read in a bathroom stall or in the bathroom in your house?

Secondly, why do those (few?) and disgusting people run the faucet when they shit. Is the quiet noise of shitting so embarrassing to the rest of your family or friends that you have to cover up that noise. A faucet left on for 3 min will cause more suspicion than a normal, nice shit. Seriously, it's not that bad!

poopieburner's picture

I like to read when i shit... i eat alot of rice, and absorbant carbs, so my shits are HUGE and take a while to work out. Its nice to have something to do in there other than push.

However, I love it when you have those five second turds that just fall out and when you reach down with the TP you find you didnt even have to wipe.

But that is so rare for me. I always find myself in the shitter for long periods of time. I like to talk with people in the next stall about what I am reading. Its kind of funny to talk about a food article while a big juicy crap is working its way through my o-hole! :)

ShitFerBrainz's picture

I never thought people turned on the water to cover up the non-existant (almost) noise of a pinched loaf sliding into the bowl, but rather thought they did it for relaxation - running water tends to untighten an uptight they say. When I was around twelve, I was taking a leak in the john by the school nurses office, and when I was done, a classmate told me 'jeezus apeshit krist, ralf, didn't your parents ever teach you to piss on the side of the bowl above the water-line so that nobody could hear you?' to which I replied 'fuck no, that's the stupiedest thing I've ever heard', but every goddamm piss I took for the next 30 years was on the side of the bowl above the waterline. After thirty years of usually pissing on the floor instead (the bowl is hard enough to hit if you piss right in the goddamm middle!) I finally decided that people would rather hear the sound of me pissing than to have me pissing all over their walls or floor. Some shit takes me a while to figure out.

CJ's picture

Me and my two friends, Paul and Elliot, poop together about every other day in school. The noises we generate are hilarious. We all go during the same period and sit in three stalls beside eachother. If no one else is in there, we'll talk to eachother in between noise and laughter. There is definitely nothing wrong with some inter-stall talking. Makes things go easier and allows for a fun time in the middle of the boring school day.

Eric's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

hey! if im poopin i like to read

sometimes i get so engrossed with the material i forget whats goin on and before i know it im done

and i dont even break a sweat

Slim Jim Junkie's picture

I would say it is fine, until you try to cross-stall-communicate with a complete stranger.

Mike's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

me and my girlfriend like to watch the shat come out of each other its kind of gross butt it makes us closer and more comfrtable w/ each other if we show the most uncomfortable things we do in front of each other.

Turd Liberation Army (TLA)'s picture

The TLA is in the process of proposing the construction of glass stalls. This will eradicate the curiosity as to whom you are s(h)itting with. It is just one step closer to the inevitable existance of stall-less restrooms.

doniker's picture
j 1000+ points

Todd you were a great guy....may you rest in peace.
Todd commited suicide in 2003. He has alot of drug and alcohol problems and was battling cancer.
I saw him at work early in the day that he blew his fucking brains out and he seemed normal; life fucking sucks.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

I know what you mean, doniker. The first friend I ever made in my life killed himself four years ago. I just found out about it a few weeks ago and I'm still down. Just know that Todd's not in pain anymore.
Not that that's really helped me.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

kief's picture

Going back 'bout reading while pooping. I'll grab a magazine once in a while even though it only takes me a minute or two to squeeze one out. This isn't necessarily to catch up on some reading material, but rather it facilitates the pooping experience. Much like how a cup of warm jave and a smoke will open the gates, the mere habit of having a mag. in the hand will zone one out, almost zen-like. I suppose it's similar to the situation where if you think 'bout it too much when urinating in public, then you can get a mental block that can leave you just standing with a useless dick in hand.

Crappen_Geocacher's picture

When I go into a stall, I never say a word, and even try to hold back any coughing sounds and such, to try to hide my Identity. Also I never try to say anything if im at the sink and somebodys pooping on the potty.

ParaPooper's picture

I enjoy reading in the stall. Since recently discovering PR here, I have been cut and Pasting multiple stories into word and printing them to read inthe stall. Normally I read the paper and an occasional book (I get caught up and have read a book all day at work blowing off everything there, but I digress). This PR reading almost cost me my job though. Recently, I had a huge 12 pager printed and read the whole thing! I spent 35 minutes reading andf when I came out, I had forgotten about our weekly staff status meeting and one of the guys saw me coming out and said our boss was looking for me. I told him I was on a telecon with Design Engineering as he hates that Dept and blames all our problems on them. So we actually bonded some on reaming DE anew As (pun intended). I also love to talk, but you have to be careful at work. But when I was in the Army, we would talk about evberything while shitting. In stalls, in the woods, anywhere we went, we shit...C-rations make huge turds.

iansexdrive@hotckck's picture

baby did a boom boom

Norm's picture

That's where I learned talking while shitting. Our boot camp toilets didn't have doors and shitters faced each other. So you can stare a a dude taking a shit in silence, or start up a converstation.

stranger danger's picture

Not only is talking ok, I routinly try to stall the exit of a buddy/coworker while i try to brew a nastfart with bowl reverb!

Grogan's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I read at home, and play video poker at work. But my favorite thing todo in a public bathroom is if I let out a good fart pipe up to the guy in the stall next to me "That wasnt me, that was you".
This did however backfire once when the guy in the stall next to me turned out to be a co-worker who went and told his boss, who told the big boss who called me into the office. Although the big boss found it funny he requested I stop playing that game. So now every day I keep an eye out for tattle tales shoes and keep quiet.

Fernando's picture

Cross-stall conversation is a no no for any guy. Almost all guys, regardeless of your background, social status, creed, nationality have a built in code which is almost atabic about not talking to strangers in the bathroom and talking to someone in a stall is banned without a question. The only acceptable situation would be between buddies who entered the bathroom at the same time and one or both of them need to shit. However, even in this situation they should not take the conversation too far. Of course some guys do talk from the stalls or to someone in a stall but they are a minority, and they are perceived like weirdos or at the best as if they are nuts.

Eli's picture

I think pooping should be a private experience and anonymity should always remain there. I mean really, there has to be SOME decorum left within our society.

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Fernando, two good friends talking between the stalls shouldn't be viewed as weird if it's not forced. For instance, if they work in the same office and walked to the crapper together talking about some subject of interest, and it was still of interest to them when they took their seats, I see no reason why they shouldn't continue.

I agree that talking to a stranger out of the blue in a nearby stall is inappropriate, but there are some natural circumstances in which people of both genders talk between the stalls.

I'm told women do it all the time.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Poopaloopas's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

One time I was in the bathroom at my workplace taking a poop, and halfway through, to my dismay, someone decided to hop in the stall next to me in order to do the deed. I was put-off that someone would choose the one stall next to me when there were so many others available, but I looked at his shoes and recognized them as my good friend and coworker's Converses. Immediately I said, "Ethan?"
"Uh... Yeah..."
"Hey, sucks about that project our boss gave us huh?"
"Um... yeah..."
I didn't think I was really crossing the line here, we were pretty good buddies, but I sensed he was a pretty shameful shitter so I piped up, wiped up, and exited quickly, for his sake. Afterwards I couldn't help but noticed things were strange between us for a few days. He probably thought I was a big weirdo.

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I do think it's a matter of timing, as well as familiarity. If it's a close friend and you knew their identity before they went into their stall, and they knew it was you next to them, I don't think it would seem strange.

ButI can see how starting up a conversation, even among friends, might be a bit strained, especially if no one had been talking about anything before.

As for spotting someone's shoes, I think you'd have to be awfully sure of yourself there. Some shoes look alike, and you could find yourself carrying on with a relative stranger who would be sitting there the entire time thinking: WTF?

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Coprologist's picture

I don't like talking to someone I know if I'm doing my business, because I am a noisy shitter. But I like listening to the other guy, and if a total stranger in the next stall started up a conversation about shitting, I think I would join in. But it has never happened to me.

Anomalous Coward's picture
k 500+ points

I always feel vulnerable when shitting. No idea why having one's pants down, extruding foul smelling excrement from a hole between their lower cheeks, and making undignified sounds would make one feel that way, but it does. I've always suspected that the one who initiates the conversation knows it embarrasses the hell out of the other person, and does it to gain a feeling of power. "I can make you feel uncomfortable, and you can't do anything about it." That's another form of terrorism - a jihad of the toilet.

Stu's picture

I don't mind talking to other guys in the restroom while either one of us is crapping. I sometimes take a crap in a nearby public park that has no doors on the 2 stalls. A few times, I've had guys talk to me. Sometimes they may be transients who are cleaning up at the sink in front of the stalls. Once was a guy from another state who asked me for paper because the other stall had none. Another time, there was a guy who was waiting for a stall and he just leaned against the wall in front of my stall just making small talk. He didn't even flinch when farted or when I stood up to wipe. If someone wants to talk to me, go for it.

Brown Bomber's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I try not to initiate conversation while doing the deed. But I have been in the stall when someone has entered the restroom and, recognizing my shoes, called out to me and began conversation while urinating. He felt no shame even after he finished and washed up, he remained in the room to casually converse while other people came and went. I started using the second floor bathroom soon after that.

TheThunderDownUnder's picture

My co-worker and I are on the same break schedule at work. We go out to lunch about every day together, he's one of the cool people there cause everyone else sucks ass and is boring. I don't know what it is but about 4 hours later I have to take a dump. And he does too, it's like were on the same shit schedule lol. We always have cross-stall conversation, and it tends to turn into "listen to this one" as we see who can pinch the loudest fart, rate its strenght and talk about the new hot temps with big tits since we normally get a lot. I have no problem at all talking to guys I know in the bathroom, but if its a stranger I won't spark up a conversation, you never know if that person isn't comfortable with it. It also has a lot to do with age. We're both young guys in our 20s and don't give a shit. Older guys tend to be more serious about the whole thing.

phatmanxxl's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

^^^you gotta cool friend! Sounds like you guys play battle shits together.

Anonymous Coward's picture

i like 2 shit on the side with my wife and her ex boyfriend in the park with my dog and his collar always bothers him like he has nothing to fear about the cloud that is shaped like a tuna-fish

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

AC of 6/24, I can usually follow some really bent, twisted, stream of consciousness writing, but I do have to ask you one question regarding your post: What the fuck did you say?

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

If it's not too bad, I'll talk a little, but not carry on the Grand Debate of 08
I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

The Original Grasshopper

The Unbreathable Funk's picture

The Funk only unleashes his odiferous anal evil in stoic manly silence.

Leaky Bowel King's picture
l 100+ points

I work in a big-box retail store and having major stomach and gastro problems I spend a good bit of time in my wall stall or "office" reading PR on my blackberry. I don't have a problem with people talking on a cell phone or talking to each other from stall to stall if they are right beside each other. But what really pisses me off is when someone has stolen my office and I have to shit in a middle stall, and a couple of contractors come in talking about whatever it may be that they're working on, take stalls on opposite sides of me and carry on their convo. Like I said, I don't have a problem talking between stalls, but I don't like being in the middle of a construction workers fart filled converstations. I just can't handle it.

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points

Yes, but what about Texting ?

Leaky Bowel King's picture
l 100+ points

Texting is fine in the bathroom. I do it all the time. But my keys don't make noise. It's awfully distracting when you hear someone clicking, or worse yet, beeping when they're texting. That just kills my concentration.

poopsathome's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I used to talk while taking a shit in 1st grade but when I moved to a different school I didn't do that anymore and I text my friends all the time while I shit although I rarely tell them I'm shitting at the time because I'm afraid that they might tell someone near them that

The Bee's picture

I was in San Francisco with my beautiful classy girlfriend in the Westin Hotel, on the 30th floor int he penthouse suite. We were tripping on mushrooms in the room all day and night. Of course, by the end of the night I had the most heinous mushroom shit ever ready to go. I didn't want to blow up our bathroom, so I did the good thing and went down to the stalls in the Hotel bathroom at the bottom of the floor. I was doing my thing, and a couple of stalls across I heard newspaper rustling. And rustling. Then one guy moan. Then another guy moan. I realized quickly that while I was takinga shit being that we're in san francisco there were two gay guys having sex in the stall next to me. I made sure I hurried up and didn't flush, figuring they were probably into that sort of thing...

turd wrangler's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

__talking. no. no no. never. never ever...unless you need paper_____
...a proud fart trumpets the pending arrival of my Daily Duece...readers digest, oct '89

...a proud fart trumpets the pending arrival of my Daily Duece...readers digest, oct '89

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points

Talking is not a good idea, that is why a person seeks the quiet and comfort of a little used can.

Anonymous Coward's picture


MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I can remember very few times anyone has ever initiated a bathroom conversation with me; I discouraged it ("Were you talking to me?"). I have never initiated a conversation with a stranger in a restroom (except at a sink: "Excuse me, could you reach me a paper towel? . . . Thanks"). In the toilet stall, silence is golden, except for the necessary farts, grunts, and plops.

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