The Shameless Shitting Manifesto
There are those among us who cough to conceal loud farts, hide in the stall until the
person at the sink has left, and, upon seeing someone else when they enter the
bathroom, will pretend they came in just to wash their hands.
These are Shameful Shitters. They are an oppressed people.
As humans, we have the right to enter a bathroom, drop a deuce, and leave -- without
anyone caring, and without caring if anyone cares.
Rich or poor, black or white, Muslim or Christian or Jew, shitting is a shared human
experience with no cultural boundaries. The pleasure and the pain of shitting is
something to which all humanity can relate. Such a transcendent experience has the
power to unify humanity.
The obstacle we face is Shameful Shitting -- those who repress their own shit for fear
of what others may think, and those who repress others' because of shame in their own
The only solution is Brown Revolution. The time has come to embrace Shameless
We demand a Fecal Utopia, in which all men and women are endowed with certain
unalienable excremental rights --
FREEDOM OF MOVEMENT
The most fundamental right of a Shameless Shitter is the right to walk into and out of
a public bathroom with one's head held high, feeling no need to disguise the nature of
FREEDOM OF PRIVACY
If a Shameless Shitter views this as a time for quiet introspection and enjoyment of
the self, no one may disturb them with unnecessary noise or unwanted conversation.
FREEDOM FROM JUDGMENT
When one feels the urge, one may float a log wherever it is appropriate. Although
respected as a private act, there is no reason to go out of one's way to hide it -- a
Shameless Shitter has the right to shit in doorless stalls, literally and figuratively.
FREEDOM FROM FEAR
All Shitters are denied any right to Showboat Shitting, Poop Exhibitionism, or Turd
Terrorism. Any act that violates the sanctity of the bathroom and poisons the bathroom
for other Shitters violates the Shameless Shitting Doctrine.
As long there are those who bend to the will of Shameful Shitting, we are not truly
Private or public, at work or at home or anywhere else, the only pressure that should
concern a Shitter is the one building in the colon.
Rise up! Join the Brown Revolution!