The Book Of The Shameless

// // 620 Comments
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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The Shameless Shitting Manifesto outlines the four fundamental rights of every Shitter.
These rights are ordained by God -- no man may take them away.

The bathroom is a sanctuary, a place where people of all races truly understand the
underlying humanity of one another. This is a sacred place -- a place that must be
free of oppression, of persecution, of fear and of shame.

You may not always be Shameless. Sometimes, even the best of us are a bit Shameful. But, by inscribing your name to this roster, you are pledging to accept the doctrine
of Shameless Shitting, and, more, forever respect the restroom rights of others, with the expectations that all others will respect yours.

620 Comments on "The Book Of The Shameless"

smallanalfungus's picture

i dont like terds,but when its time to sink the bismark...damn the torpedoes.full steam ahead

crapfully yours's picture

i was always a shamfull shitter until i read the manifesto. viva la shameless shitter!

The Dumpster's picture

Upon my honor
I will do my best
To do my doody....

Pantsdown Pete's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I hereby declare my undying faith to the Shameless Manifesto.

Pantsdown Pete

Poop Shooter's picture
k 500+ points

good one Dumpster!! I pledge allegiance to the shitter.... for which it stands, one bowl under my ass..... with smooth moves and a clean wipe for all!! Shamless... everyone poops! I'm sure somewhere in the bible, it tells of Jesus pooping! Every other atrocity is in there, so why not pooping! Poop Shooter!

Poop Shooter!

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

With reading material tucked firmly beneath my arm, I shamelessly march into the battle for free pooping!

3flusher's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

At last, a movement I can get behind!

3flusher

ScumBum's picture

I am Shameless Soldier.

Prasan's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Dave, why fart and waste when you can burp and taste? More of that later, but as of now I declare myself to be a SHAMELESS SHITTER till the last dump of my life...!!!


_______
Everything is funny as long as it happens to somebody else.

Everything is funny as long as it happens to somebody else.

WaterDemon's picture

I proudly join in the Brown Revolution! I fear no bathroom, be it public, private or outhouse!
_______
It must have been the tacos, or the marshmallows, or the watermelon, or the...

It must have been the tacos, or the marshmallows, or the watermelon, or the...

Anonymous Coward's picture

While I whole heatedly agree with the principals of the Shameless Manifesto, I think there's some key issues not adressed in it, that need to be pointed out. For instance ...

(1) What happens when two Shameless Shitters violate each others personal privacy with loud and disruptive shitting. While they both may have a right to privacy and to personally reflect on the moment, two shitters in close proximity could create a conflict for this rule.

(2) The Shameless Manifesto is right to give every man, woman, and child the right to shit with dignity. But let's face it. It's a crule and unfair world out there. It's easier said than done to eat 4 Chalupas from Taco Bell, then drive 12 miles to the nearest Olive Garden pounding shots of expresso on the way, just to use their bathroom, and then not feel a LITTLE guilty about it. But brothers and sisters ... I do it anyway. I even carry a pocket door stop everywhere I go, use it to prop the main bathroom entrance door open, to any public resteraunt bathroom I use; because I'm not ashamed or embarassed to share what I had for lunch with the fine people at Red Lobster, Denny's, IHOP, or the Olive Garden. Sure I'll never eat there, but I"m proud to use their facilities to exersise my right poop with pride.

-Poop Power

Butt Sneeze's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I, George, do solemny swear to be a Shameless Shitter, at all times. When sitting on the crapper, I'll rip the biggest farts possible and drop my turds with a big splash--not worrying about what others may think, hear, or smell. I will even shit at home with the bathroom door wide open, regardless if my partner is around or not, and I will do it with pride, without feeling the least bit of shame. Shit on, fellow Shitters!

Bunghole In the Jungle's picture
l 100+ points

To paraphrase Rodney, "Can't We All Just Shit Along?"

Shamless shitting shall set you free, my sisters and brothers.


_______
May you always find a roll with paper

keeping the whack in tally-ho...
Fartuituos!
Serenshittipy!

Mellonee Mckenzie's picture

Omg I used to be scared to poop in public. Going on a 10 day trip to cancun mexico proved other wise. After having held it for a week I just let it out at senior frogs

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points

Dumpster posted the above 01.03.2006 comment his first day on the site, before he officially joined. Upon more mature reflection, however, I have moved myself into the category of Enlightened Shamefulness, because I still have some trepidations about Bombing Tokyo in front of my quondam Significant Other, the colonically challenged Miss Hermione.

But I fully support the rights of Shameless Shitters everywhere! (Except in circumstances where I might have to clean it up....)

Sarah Bottomley (nee Ruston)'s picture

I enjoy a good poo. Smelly and loud and soft and preferably in front of an audience. Come on you lot at Johnson and Johnson wound management in Gargave Yorkshire England, join me tomorrow lunchtime for a monster buddy dump.

Richard Bottomley's picture

Hi and like my wife Sarah I am a shameless shitter. We all do it. Let's be loud and proud with it.

poopman153's picture

I poopman153 solomly swear to live by the sacred freedoms of shameless shitters, never go back to shameful shitting.

Hiroshita's picture

I love to shit, I think an odorless dump is an unsucessful one...

Shameless pooper for ever

Duke of Poop's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I dont know what to say. Do I really deserve this title? Is there such a thing as a shameless shitter? We are all Imperfect in our bowels. I would like you people to know a story that was handed down many a generation in my family about the beginning of poop, and of the true reason Adam and Eve were kicked out of Eden.

In the beginning, God made Adam. Adam walked mongst the beasts of the wilderness and climbed the highest trees but still something was missing. So, God took one of his ribs and made Eve to give him company. Everything was truly perfect, except for one thing. Something was just wrong with Adam. At this point in Time nothing in the world could poo, so God decided there could only be one answer... They were constipated. God on the 9th day then did make Adam and Eves bowels move and they ran and frollocked and shit. And at this point no one was ashamed to poop in the open, or if anyone saw them, and it was peace. However God needed to know Adam and Eve would not betray his gift. He told them that they may poo anywhere but his golden TOILET, which was an unkown word at the time. The next day a serpent came to Eve and told her that the Gold toilet of God was so much more comfortable than the ground, and that every shit that you made into it would be as good as Gods. Perfect shit every time. So Eve took a poo on the toilet. Next she tricked Adam into pooing on the gold object. God found out and cried in the heavens. He went to Adam and Eve and asked why the would do such a thing. "the serpent tricked us" they said. God then Flushed them out of Eden as they had flushed the Almighty toilet. He found the serpant and damned him to be the shape of a well formed poo for the rest of eternity. And from that day on, the day of original flush, no man in the land pooped perfect, and they all had to poop on toilets and in private, and so the shear glory of pooping was taken away.

But, I feel that by taking this sacred oath, this, this honor, I might be healed a little. So I solemnly swear I will follow the shameless shitter guidlines and not follow in the footsteps of Adam and Eve!!!

Watch where you shit, BITCH

SCrahan6Knot's picture

I shall shit anywhere and anytime I feel like, with no shame!

boombarbi's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I am a shameless shitter. I weep for the shameful who enter the stall, proceed to pee, and then clearly sit in discomfort, waiting, no, LONGING for me to leave so that they may let loose their bowels. To those afraid to utter a sound, I say BE FREE and fart and poop to your colon's content!
Where have you been all my life, PoopReport.com?

They call me Challenger - I've blown an O-ring.

Pally's picture
m 1+ points - Newb


I am SHAMELESS therefor I live... and also therefor I also shall do my duties as my fellow man before me!
PVT McManus

Paladin

Christopher's picture

I solemnly pledge to do my best to remove the shame from my shit.

Just the poops's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I do solemnly swear to plop plop fizz fizz where ever and when ever I feel the desire, and not feel bad about the stench left behind

Northy's picture
l 100+ points

I will admit that I was a Shameful shitter but I have outgrown this silly stage and now shit anywhere that has toilet roll.

I, Northy, do solemnly declare myself to be as Shameless as I wanna be. As such, I will do everything in my power to uphold the Four Sacred Freedoms of Shameless Shitting, and do everything in my power to prevent the persecution and oppression of innocent Shamefuls to the best of my ability.

I have also took pictures of my shit on my phone and sent them to my close friends and family. LONG LIVE THE BRITISH LOG

Diarrhea Diva's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I, the Diarrhea Diva, do hereby pledge to uphold and adhere to the principles and freedoms stated in the Shameless Shitting Manifesto.

In addition, I will promote books, such as "Everyone Poops", that teach young children about this experience we all share.

Viva la Brown Revolution!

_______
~Happiness is a warm squirt (and a puppy)~

~Happiness is a warm squirt (and a puppy)~

Latus Rectum's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I, Nate B. (a.k.a. Latus Rectum), on this 30th day of the month of May in the 2006th year of our Lord, do hereby declare myself to be a Shameless Shitter. I hold these truths to be self-evident, that all humans are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are:
- The right to enter a bathroom unashamedly and empty their colon, bladder, or stomach as they find it necessary without reservation - anytime, anywhere, whether by urinal or by stall (as appropriate to the bodily function), whether by standing, sitting, kneeling or squatting, regardless of how bad it may smell or how far the smell may drift.
- The right to be afforded privacy. If any person wishes to use this time for quiet introspection, no one shall disturb them.
- The right to be granted access to and use in any appropriate manner a bathroom wherever and whenever this becomes necessary.
- The right not to be subjected to any form of turd terrorism, nor any act that violates the sanctity of the bathroom, and neither to be judged for any appropriate use of the bathroom on their part. No one shall be held responsible nor condemened for any smell or sound which is produced as a result of a necessary bodily function!

I do solemly pledge to do everything in my power to uphold the Four Sacred Freedoms of Shameless Shitting, and do everything in my power to protect and prevent the persecution and oppression of any and all shitters by anyone who would attempt to deny them the Four Sacred Freedoms of Shameless Shitting. Lastly I pledge never to regard a natural bodily function performed appropriately in any bathroom, either of mine or someone else's, as shameful, indecent or wrong in any way, regardless of the nature of the bodily function or severity of the smell, be it diarrhea, vomiting, flatulence, or any other natural bodily function. The natural and unavoidable workings of a person's body shall not be regarded as a reflection upon their personality, hygiene, strength or character in any way whatsoever. I do hold this to be a fundamental and self-evident truth for all humanity.

-- Latus Rectum

craperjack's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I will try to be shameless and fart whenever without trying to cover it up

I will try to walk out with my head held high when I stink up the bathroom I will try to grunt and not cover up the noise!!

if I stink then therefore I am!!

I will try to be shameless and fart whenever without trying to cover it up

berlmeister's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I, berlmeister the curlmeister to solemnly swear to poo at my liesure, without any shame or other comprimise to my good character whilst making my deposit in the closet. I will ensure the dignity of my neighbor by not laughing at his/her logjam or thermal venting unless it is better than mine. Furthermore, in order to promote civilized shamelessness, I urge all shameless ones to swear that by saving paper for your ass instead of the seat, we all might be better served in a time of need. i for one will proudly hover when all else fails.

Political Dumper's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Semper Cinaedus - Always Shameless

Semper Cinaedus - Always Shameless

Mr.Monkeyballs's picture

I take pride in shitting in public bathrooms and at other peoples houses.
There is nothing wrong with it!!!

Poopgirl's picture
m 1+ points - Newb


We may poop together. HALLELUYAH!!!
Poop on!

-Poopgirl

Poop on!

-Poopgirl

emilios turd's picture

im a mexican craper, i take the vowes of shameless shitting as i've ever did, im gonna shit all around the world, try different bathrooms, and fart when i feel the need to fart,
brwon revolution, lets unite!

krzyzewskifan's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I, krzyzewskifan, do hereby promise to shit anywhere at anytime, and to let others know the joy of being shameless.


_______
I poop because I am...I am because I poop.

I poop because I am...I am because I poop.

Tony Dietel's picture

I was once a shameful shitter. I am now a new man and will do the best I can to shit in every public place possible and I will leave all masterpieces for the public to view!!
Thanks poopreport.com !!

bigdoodyhead's picture

When I make a big doody, I know that I am doing the healthiest thing possible, so what's to be ashamed of? My turd looks up at me and kind of says thank you for living right.

Hu Flung Dung's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Shameless since 1980!
_______
I have a book published. The title...it's "Brown Spots on the Walls".

Yes, those are my brown spots. Yes, those are your walls.

KatiePika's picture

I am proud to let one go wherever there is a toilet to catch it! Long live the Shameless!

punk pooper's picture

I, punk pooper, devote myself to the practice of shameless shitting. I promise to shit in any bathroom conveniently in the vicinity when the prairie dog peaks his head. I promise to help my girl fight the oppression of shameful shitter, so that she too can enjoy the freedom of the traveling shit. No longer will she have to shamefully conceal her painful, teary-eyed expression as she proclaims, "I can hold it." We must all work together to fight this! The only look I want to see on anybody's face is the serene look of relaxation after dropping a lumberjack stack down the swirling rapids.

Fartdude's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

It's great to be a shameless shitter! Every time I need to drop the load, I sit proudly in that stall and blast away with all my might. It shows everyone that you're the boss and the ultimate champion!

Phillip DeCrapper's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Today, I, Phillip DeCrapper, rise up from my throne and look to those who have come before me. I look to those who have sacraficed for the privelage that I now enjoy. I look to those who have laid their lives, and their heroic youth at the altar of freedom. They have done this for many reasons, but in the end, it is for my freedom alone.

Therefore, I look to them, and to their memory, and I salute their efforts so that they will not fade away in vain, but will instead rise up in glory. I value my freedom as a human being, and...as one of the shameless.

For far too long, I toiled away, in some forgotten stall, pooping in silence. Always careful not to let a log splash water. No more.

I rise up, a born again man, proud of my heritage, and ashamed no more.

I rise up, and declare myself, a SHAMELESS SHITTER!!! Hallellujah to the highest. Free at last. Free at last. Thank God Almighty, we are free at last.

Double Flush's picture
k 500+ points

Let it be known to all that on this day I am officially declaring myself Shameless! Just earlier I marched myself in the bathroom where others were. My usual toilet, the handicrapper, was taken. I proceeded to go into the stall with no toilet seat or locking door, dropped trou, let a noisy explosive shit, and made all the noise I wanted unrolling the cheap 1-ply. I counted down and flushed, then said "aww crap" and flushed again, just for effect. I took a chance and went shameless, and it felt good! SHAMEFULNESS NO MORE! DUFYA IS FREE!

_______
"Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus

[Insert witty banter here]

Anomalous Coward's picture
k 500+ points

How, in all profundity,
May we discuss fecal fecundity,
And avoid rhetorical redundity
And never consider this, to wit
One who’s fearful to take a shit?
Pity the fool, the hapless twit,
Who in shame and pain
Will not poop to gain,
Blessed relief that’s oh so plain,
To those of us with warped wit,
Who delight to take a public shit,
Caring not on what can we sit.
Perversity it is to refuse to go,
When the brown turtle’s head is dropping low,
And labored step is hard and slow.
And why will you not squat and drop,
Listening for the rewarding plop,
When shit’s downward course doth stop?
Now I say drop that dirt,
We assure you, it will not hurt,
Nor with death will you flirt.
But in rapturous tones of joyful song,
Your bung will its rejoicing prolong,
Such relief cannot be wrong.
So those of you with nervous twitters,
Come join the ranks of shameless shitters!

Shit-head's picture

Shit-head's Theorum:
The degree of shamefulness experienced in the defecatory habits of homo sapiens bashfulofshiticus is inversely (and perversely) related to how bad the H.Sapien B. in question has to move their bowels. For instance, if you sorta/kinda gotta go, you will feel a greater degree of fecalophobia than the person who has to SHIT RIGHT GODDAM NOW!!! To the 'excruciatingus diarrheaticus', shame is but a secondary consideration to the shatting of one's pants. So in conclusion, the degree of proximity to dumping bears a strong influence on the degree of shame involved.

Bullshitter Deluxe's picture

The meaning is in the pooh, keep on searching through it, you will find the golden kernel if you rise up and accept the challenge. We are all pooh masters inside!!!

shitwit's picture
k 500+ points

May it be a shameful day that my bunghole doth pucker up and refuse to evacuate!


_______
Brown tidings I bring
to you
from my ring

Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

jobbie's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

if you've got to go you've got to go. it's what the lav is for after all.

Constipated in Ottawa's picture

I remain Shameless. Everybody Poops. Everyone has had the same symptoms and sometimes I need to discuss them. I am a loud and proud farter, better out than in! Dinnertime conversation or bathroom phone calls, there is no wrong time or place. My tummy hurts and I want support and here, I get it! Hooray Shameless Shitters!

Anonymous Coward's picture

I pledge to this club

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