Movements Forgotten: A Pooem

m 1+ points - Newb

When you can’t poo,

What do you do?

Do you find some high fiber food to chew?

Fruits, veggies, and oatmeal, too?

Coffee helps. Do you brew?

Some people drink olive oil…ewww!

Everyone knows what glycerin can do.

Maybe you swallow an Ex-lax or two?

Or do you just whine and complain…Boo Hoo!

Whatever it is you decide to do,

Pay attention to what I’m telling you:

If you’re kind to your colon, I swear this is true,

Your colon will always be kind back to you!

7 Comments on "Movements Forgotten: A Pooem"

Rattle yer Dags's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

When I find myself without the urge
To let contents and toilet converge
A smoked cigarette
Will aid, help and abet
These bowels in triumph to purge.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

I fired a fart into the air,
It fell to earth I know not where.
The stains on those, whose hair I parted,
Looked like maybe I had sharted!

Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points

I read it with the background music to the old tv show Branded.

Thunderbox's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Sounds like a rap song, seat filler. You`ve just got to add some random swear words and you`ve got a number one hit!

The voice of sanity

seat filler's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

You mean a Number Two hit, right?

the thin brown line's picture
j 1000+ points

I looked and listened
And my colon glistened
My hiney was shiny
It pulled it's weight
The shit that came out
Like Kaopectate

I know such texture is rather silly
But I must confess, it made me giddy
A colon's worth is the food you take in
The softer the soup, more pleasant the sin
Of stools disired
Or so it's been said
Must rush to the toilet
Before I shit in my bed.

Somethin' mysterious made an exit from the gift shop.

Butt of the Joke's picture
l 100+ points

After a stubbed toe
And a spilled cup of joe
I suddenly felt the urge to go.
I plopped down on my butt
And felt my contents jutt
Only half out of the smelly rutt.
It finally came loose
As my sweating was profuse
But glorious I was because I dropped my deuce.

More people flush than they do wash their hands.

More people flush than they do wash their hands.

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