Mid Term Mistake
In mid-November while rushing to school,
mMy stomach felt like it was kicked by a mule.
But the timing of this was horrid at best
Because I was already late for my math mid-term test.
I drove like a madman to make it to school
So that I could get rid of this uncomfortable stool.
This test was important; I needed to focus,
which would be near impossible with a gut full of locusts.
I found a close spot in which to park the car.
Still, the math building was distant, so incredibly far.
I squeezed my ass tightly and away I did waddle,
Not stopping for traffic, there was no time to dawdle.
I pushed through the entrance and then down a hall,
Knowing that round the next corner I could let loose nature's call.
I hurried and scurried and then pushed through the door.
But something was different, of this I was sure.
The change there was palpable, of this there's no doubt.
But then from my ass a noisy fart did ring out.
I ran for the stall and checked out the seat,
Dropped trou, copped a squat, and let go of the heat.
While setting and purging and pushing and stinking,
My mind re-engaged and once more started thinking.
"There's something not right, of this I am sure.
Because I remember the urinals near by to the door.
O'er there should be urinals, of this I will vouch.
But now they are gone and now there's a couch.
The sinks on the wall should be over here.
Something's not right; no, something's gone queer.
I do not recall recently seeing a sign
That they would remodel this oasis of mine.
And that's when it hit me, my heart flush with gloom -
The realization that this was the Women's restroom.
That neatly explained why the urinals were gone
And all was so dainty, all so lacking brawn.
As quickly I could, I cleaned up my ass,
And tried not to panic before going to class.
I snapped up my pants before any could see
That big heavy belt that was wrapped around me.
I stood up and cracked the bathroom stall's door,
And cautiously looked over the Girls' bathroom floor.
I gathered my backpack and looked forward to see
That I'd gotten lucky, there was no one but me.
I said a quick prayer and peaked out once more
To make sure one no was between me and the door.
I took a deep breath and bolted from there.
In five giant bounds, I'd no time to spare,
I grabbed the curved handle, planted firmly in hand,
And flung it wide open, ran through as I planned.
And stood in the hallway, heart beating in breast,
Because now I could go and take that damned test.
While walking away, it came with a rush
That in my great haste, I'd forgotten to flush.