Pooetry
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Ballad of the Constipated Pacifist
Submitted by Browning
May 17, 2005, 19 Comments

Editor's note: this arrived two days after Poop For Peace Day. Between weddings and honeymoons, it was forgotten; I wish I had published it on a more timely manner. Nevertheless... I love this world and all its people 'Neath dome of mosque or chapel's steeple Hebrew, Buddhist, Pagan, B'hai, Hindu...

The Big Release
Submitted by Adam Lazarus
April 5, 2005, 36 Comments

He runs to find a clean commode, For he must lighten up his load. Innards heavy from the day, A brown egg bomb this hen will lay. Greasy tacos take their toll, As eager cheeks consume the bowl. For one brief moment he's at peace, Waiting for the big release. Minutes pass and so does gas. Pain...

Things to Do Whilst Going Poo
Submitted by Adam Lazarus
February 25, 2005, 55 Comments

Here's a list of things to do, Whilst you're making number two. Yes my humor's awfully blue, But why not make it fun to poo? While you're crapping just pretend, That your butt's an ATM. Withdraw cash from your rear-end. Grab some poop and spend, spend, spend! Picture you are in a race, Passing...

The Peril Of Antidepressants
Submitted by Lady Gastro
November 15, 2004, 31 Comments

'Twas the night before Rosh Hashanah And all was not well. For two weeks my bowels produced Not even a smell! Three Ex-Lax I popped in hopes of a poop And sat on the pot awaiting the fruit. For hours I grunted, brow beaded with sweat And fell to the floor, my goal still not met. Upon waking I knew...

Strephon And Chloe, by Jonathan Swift
Submitted by Dave
September 28, 2004, 17 Comments

For those who see PoopReport heralding the downfall of Western literary tradition, I present precedent: Jonathan Swift's 1734 poem Strephon and Chloe. Swift has been both praised and condemned for what is called his "excremental vision" -- his incessant use of scatological rhetoric in prose and...

Poo Haikus, Revisited
Submitted by Bill
September 3, 2003, 204 Comments

Editor's note: We did poo haikus a long time ago, and they were great. The following haiku came in email, and since it's been so long, I thought I'd resurrect the art form. Traditionally, haiku form is three lines with a syllable count of 5-7-5. Take, for instance, the winner of the haiku...

Pooetry Part IV
Submitted by Dave
June 26, 2002, 3 Comments

Samantha Exploded -- written and submitted by Lori My little girl today, so dainty and sweet, Started screaming during her nap, so I jumped to my feet. I entered her room all pretty and pink, And I stopped as I questioned, "What is that stink?" The smell growled at me from the corner of her room....

Pooetry Part III
Submitted by Dave
June 13, 2002, 5 Comments

The Shameful Shitter -- written and submitted by Doniker I got an urge to take a shit I tried to wait I must admit I hate to crap in a public place A fellow pooper I just can't face I must drop this loaf before it's too late Soiling my pants I sure would hate I entered the restroom, I made The Move...

Pooetry Part II
Submitted by Dave
March 12, 2002, 3 Comments

Below you'll find the second batch in our series of colonic compositions. I Need An Enema -- written by Beer Softened Stool; submitted by Chip Brown I'm getting older My body's getting bolder I can't seem to move this through My feet start to tingle I only dropped a dingle I wish that I could...

Pooetry
Submitted by Dave
March 11, 2002, 17 Comments

Poop, as one can tell by the sheer breadth of content on this site, inspires artistic expression. Most often it comes to us in prose, but we've seen it in art, in science, in photography, and now, finally, poetry. I've been collecting the various poems that people have sent me or posted on the...

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