Poop For Peace Day: April 17, 2009

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Today, humanity stands on the brink. Iraq, Afghanistan, Darfur, Congo, Somalia, Mexico... across the world, violence and anger overwhelm any progress towards peace and liberty. We are a divided species, basing our hatreds on even the most arbitrary classifications, unable to move past our quarrels to embrace common humanity. Since difference is all we can see, suffering is all we can expect.

That's why you should go poop right now.

Because today, April 17, is Poop For Peace Day.

Poop For Peace Day is not about protest or partisanship or politics. Poop For Peace Day is about acknowledging the fundamental basis of shared humanity: black or white, liberal or conservative, Christian or Muslim or Jew, we are all united in struggle against the tyranny of the bowel.

So print out your Poop For Peace guide sheet, drink some coffee to get things moving, and head off to the bathroom. As you grunt out your morning constitutional, think of the billions of people all across the world who are undergoing the exact same struggle. Think of the children of Iraq and the children of America. Think of Obama and Sarkozy and Kim Jong Il and bin Laden, and think about the fact the twelve hours following Taco Bell are going to unfold for each of them in the exact same way. Think about how our differences are irrelevant -- we're all human beings. Our poop proves it.

Empathy through excrement. Brotherhood through bowel movement. Utopia through undulating butt pythons. Today, April 17, 2009, war is over -- if you grunt it.

So go to the bathroom and drop a grumper for your fellow man. And then come back here and proclaim it to the world.




poop for peace

Get ready for 2010's push.


For six years we have pooped for peace, and for six years the evildoers among us have feigned constipation and thus prolonged humanity’s suffering. Which means the brown-splattered dove still sadly circles, an olive branch in its beak and a bit of toilet paper trailing from its foot, waiting for a nice, solid log on which to alight and end our strife.

So we'll be pooping for peace again in 2010. Submit your email address to get news and updates as this year's Poop For Peace Day approaches, as well as to get an email reminder on the day of the glorious event.







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58 Comments on "Poop For Peace Day: April 17, 2009"

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

AC, please pull up the story "Colonoscopy, we all must open wide" from the archives. I had posted a little ditty on it you can sing while the doctor is getting ready to medically rape you. It should help you relax.

Jack, my mind tends to work in random bursts and seldom have I been able to go back and add to my work. I will have a look at this one. Thank you for your compliment.

hitcliff's picture

a very interesting site... so much new information. have never thought about pooping that way! have surfed the internet for anything of the kind with my favourite search engine, but found none. you guys are great!

Postman's picture
k 500+ points

Thank you, hitcliff. Not all of us are great. Some of us are fabulous.

ac's picture

im pooping for peace all the time sometimes the pain of my brothers and sisters around the world get put through me sometimes the pain is so great that i cry and tap my feet while having a sheet
(shit)..

Fogless's picture

I pooped after eating a bunch of Halloween cookies so it came out mostly orange and brown.

I thought about world peace, and how all people poop. It blew my mind.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

What does it mean to blow your mind? Does your thoughts blow up? Neurons escape from your ears in a cloud of smoke? Brain matter blows your eyes out your head?
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Anything festering for PfP 2010?


_______
"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Anonymous Coward's picture

you know this can be a T.V show.LoL..you guys are funny...where do all the poop and fart end up....
Mr X

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