The Floral Pooper
The location of my 'office' is a general store, behind the register to be exact. One seemingly dull day, after a few gloomy hours of work, my boss headed towards the room containing the commode for the ladies. She had held the door open for no longer than three short seconds when she let out a disturbing series of noises that formed what might pass for words.
"Erin! Aaaaah! Get In Here!"
Commotion and distress in the ladies room seems to make one dart quickly in that direction. Upon my arrival I found my boss standing next to the door, looking quite shocked and disgusted. She said nothing and simply pointed to the door to the ladies room. As I neared the door my nose was battered by an unmistakable smell -- doodie.
I courageously pushed open the door, and my eyes were greeted with a most unusual piece of artwork. Located in the middle of the floor was a large pile of doodie. The doodie was not so unusual, seeing as how that was a common thing to be found in that ladies room. But what was unusual was the twisted, shredded and lengthy piece of toilet paper surrounding the large brown pile. This long white tissue had been carefully placed into the form of a large flower.
After regarding the pile and its surroundings I returned to my register, leaving the boss lady to remove the mess. And for the rest of the day, the world seemed so much brighter and full of life. I have been left wondering for years now if I have passed the Floral Pooper on the street, or even if I know her personally. Although I may never know, I will always have that gloriously strange day to look back upon with deep fondness.