The Floral Pooper

// // 12 Comments
m 1+ points - Newb
0
0

The location of my 'office' is a general store, behind the register to be exact. One seemingly dull day, after a few gloomy hours of work, my boss headed towards the room containing the commode for the ladies. She had held the door open for no longer than three short seconds when she let out a disturbing series of noises that formed what might pass for words.

"Erin! Aaaaah! Get In Here!"

Commotion and distress in the ladies room seems to make one dart quickly in that direction. Upon my arrival I found my boss standing next to the door, looking quite shocked and disgusted. She said nothing and simply pointed to the door to the ladies room. As I neared the door my nose was battered by an unmistakable smell -- doodie.

I courageously pushed open the door, and my eyes were greeted with a most unusual piece of artwork. Located in the middle of the floor was a large pile of doodie. The doodie was not so unusual, seeing as how that was a common thing to be found in that ladies room. But what was unusual was the twisted, shredded and lengthy piece of toilet paper surrounding the large brown pile. This long white tissue had been carefully placed into the form of a large flower.

After regarding the pile and its surroundings I returned to my register, leaving the boss lady to remove the mess. And for the rest of the day, the world seemed so much brighter and full of life. I have been left wondering for years now if I have passed the Floral Pooper on the street, or even if I know her personally. Although I may never know, I will always have that gloriously strange day to look back upon with deep fondness.

12 Comments on "The Floral Pooper"

runninggrrl2's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

Hmm, wow, you're lucky. My boss probably would've made ME clean it up.


_______
An apple a day keeps the ExLax away!

An apple a day keeps the ExLax away!

Butt of the Joke's picture
l 100+ points

Who said people who crap on the floor in public restrooms had to be a bad person?
_______
More people flush than they do wash their hands.

More people flush than they do wash their hands.

coachb12's picture

Call 1 800 FLOWERS for your next bouquet of poop roses.

Death to Turd Terrorists's picture

People who have a poop accident can be forgiven, those who drop a load on the floor of a bathroom just for fun are not only "bad people" they are turd terrorists, a type of lowlife I have been led to believe are judged harshly on this site.

the thin brown line's picture
j 1000+ points


_a flower a day keeps the poopshoot at bay

______
Somethin' mysterious made an exit from the gift shop.

Somethin' mysterious made an exit from the gift shop.

Chaser's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Hmm...
Strange, I wonder who the flower-shitter was!

_______
I have a thunderful ass.

I have a thunderful ass.

flushette's picture
l 100+ points

heh wow. I just had a flashback to a similar situation back in Ireland when a girl across the way screamed for me to come see what someone had done -- shit a flagpole in the toilet with much of the poop hanging over the side.

To top it off, my name is also Erin.


_______
Even skinny guys fart at 300 decibels!

When you've got nowhere to go, and you feel it start to flow, diarrhea... diarrhea.

Butt of the Joke's picture
l 100+ points

Was there a square of toilet paper to represent the flag?
_______
More people flush than they do wash their hands.

More people flush than they do wash their hands.

Merd du flor's picture

Gee, for a minute there I thought you were writing about me--mine smells like roses.

Poonanza's picture
l 100+ points

That is hilarious! I woulda laughed and taken a picture! I wisht I coulda seen it.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Poonanza, Give me your address and I will come over and create a centerpiece for your dining room table.

The Floral Pooper


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How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

I wonder if Pieclops sees the floral pooper everyday...
In the mirror.

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