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The Right Thing Done Wrong
Submitted by Shawn
August 28, 2008, 16 Comments

Last year I finished my freshman year at an underwhelming way-station for slow folks known as **** University. The qualifications for getting in are as follows: 1. Write a check that doesn't bounce. 2. See rule # 1. This so-called university is in a smoky, rat-infested part of New Jersey known as "...

Lavatory Laboratory
Submitted by Crapper John Mc...
August 19, 2008, 58 Comments

Editor's note: this was originally posted on the forums. I work in a laboratory where I do a number of different tests on a daily basis. A fecal occult blood test is not uncommon, nor is it anywhere near as difficult or disgusting as one might imagine. The patient brings in three cards that are...

Cabin Pressure
Submitted by the pied pooper
August 14, 2008, 37 Comments

My friend told me about this site only yesterday, so you can imagine my surprise when I had a poop experience this morning that begged to be reported. So there I was. I had just finished my morning coffee and cigarette. Next in my morning office ritual is usually a stop in my favorite stall to...

Submitted by Kay O. Pectate
August 12, 2008, 25 Comments

My fire station had two bathrooms. I didn't like using the upstairs one near the dorms because the door had no lock. I was always getting walked in on. It had a shower, two sinks, and two toilets. The crappers sat side-by-side with a small partition separating them. If you wanted to, you could...

The Men's Room For Real Men
Submitted by doniker
August 11, 2008, 92 Comments

I started a new job this week. Of course, my first priority was examining the bathroom facilities. I have worked for dozens of companies in my lifetime and have visited hundreds of public restrooms, but this one is an all-new experience. I have yet to take a dump at this place because I have...

Making Bank
Submitted by Kay O. Pectate
August 8, 2008, 29 Comments

The signs were plastered all over our emergency department: "For any patient with diarrhea... call Jan!" Jan was a university employee who had been conducting a diarrhea study in our ED. They needed hundreds of patients to participate. So whenever we had a patient with the squirts, one of the...

Burst Responder
Submitted by Kay O. Pectate
August 6, 2008, 24 Comments

There is nothing worse than being in the middle of nowhere, rescuing people trapped in an overturned car, and then getting the sudden urge to pinch a loaf. Tim had been at the firehouse earlier that day when the urge to take a constitutional had first crossed his mind. He was contemplating which...

Anger Pooping
Submitted by monkee
July 18, 2008, 29 Comments

I was talking with a friend the other day about how rude and angry some people can be. I told him that I had worked in customer service for a few years and had my life threatened and asked to step outside more than a few times. My response was usually the same: I'd be very polite and then I'd...

Full Of Grace
July 16, 2008, 15 Comments

I used to work as a secretary for a church in a college town. I worked alone in the church office; most days, the pastor would only come in for a few hours. One day he wasn't scheduled to come in at all, which was good because my stomach was having some troublesome pains. It might have been the...

A Dab'll Doo Ya
Submitted by StackDump
May 15, 2008, 70 Comments

I work in a fairly typical cube-farm IT environment. One morning, as per my daily custom, I got up to drop my daily stack dump. I worked on the first floor and the *only* men's room was on the second floor. So up I went. Everything went over and out fairly normally, so I went back to my happy...

The Executive Washroom
Submitted by Seth K
April 28, 2008, 20 Comments

It was the day of my orientation at the aerospace industry supply company where I had just been hired. It was the policy of this company for every new employee to meet the CEO. You get the picture: some greenhorn just-graduated college kid with a few remaining pimples on his nose sits with an...

Elementary, My Dear PoopReport
Submitted by SgtShitster
March 31, 2008, 37 Comments

I am a cop in a suburban mid-Western town of about eighteen thousand people. Last week I got a call about a "suspicious package" on the side of the road to check out. In the post-9/11 era, we get these kinds of calls a lot. The package was on a connector road that's about half-mile long, wooded on...

My Only Valentine This Year
Submitted by snowpea
March 21, 2008, 67 Comments

(I realize this is late, but I just joined this site a few days ago. I worked part-time in a rehab center for the elderly and the infirm until recently -- and this story is why.) Happy Valentine's Day! Hope y'all had a good one, too. I received a valentine from the charge nurse tonight. It was a...

Memories Of Felicia
March 14, 2008, 30 Comments

Felicia was young. Young and oh-so-cute. She had this delicate way about her. Very feminine. A girly-girl who took pride in her appearance. Her long blond hair always smelled of wonderful, clean citrus. Nails painted just so. Her hip huggers accentuated her perfectly round bubble butt and allowed...

I, Fart Guy
Submitted by Rosewood Bitters
March 13, 2008, 62 Comments

Doing sales on the road is a lonely thing. You have to adjust to spending time alone in the car, in restaurants, and in motels. Unfortunately you pick up some really bad habits as well -- habits that ordinarily would horrify you, but, since no one knows about them, you're free to do. A few examples...

The Meter Reader And The Gas Break
Submitted by soldierboy
March 3, 2008, 34 Comments

Although the day was cold and the snow deep, the size of the book promised a short route today: done by two o'clock. Two-thirty, tops. The day started out unremarkable enough for a utility company meter reader in the Midwest. I was dropped off at my first address knowing that I'd be picked up...

Submitted by pooptastic
February 27, 2008, 55 Comments

Some of you may remember that I was pretty neurotic about pooping in public, and that I still am. But I have become a lot more relaxed than I was in the old days, when I was extremely OCD. (Therapy can do wonderful things.) Now I am only slightly terrified by the thought of butt germs getting me in...

Waiting For The Aged
Submitted by Sickman
January 14, 2008, 13 Comments

When I went into the shower this morning, I felt a slight need to move the bowels. I had just cleaned my bathroom, so it seemed a shame to filthify my pristine throne; besides, the infamous work bathroom had entertainment (a hand-held Yahtzee), so I opted to wait until I got to work. I would regret...

Reducing Office Chatter
Submitted by droogie
November 20, 2007, 43 Comments

I have a problem that I think only the PoopReport can fix. I have read the site long enough to be familiar with the concept of Shameful Shitting. And I shit proudly in all places. Public restrooms? No worries. At home with the wife brushing her teeth three feet away? All the time. In the back of a...

The Story Of Shitty
Submitted by Svendowney
September 21, 2007, 14 Comments

Every time my foreman Jay would go on vacation, Lou would take over for him running the fab shop. It was on one of these occasions that disaster struck. Picture this: hottest day of July, seven AM. Rob and Sean are in the shit house doing their morning ritual when suddenly and without warning --...

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