Poop at the Office
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Revenge of the Turds
Submitted by John
July 10, 2001, 18 Comments

I'm a tilesetter by trade, and years ago, I was installing a kitchen with my helper Mark. The customer was a "snooty rich bitch" (in Mark's term) who came in now and then to watch, her expression indicative that she smelled shit, or, more likely, Mark farting. Ever critical of our work, she had us...

Office Pooping -- A Man's Sacred Ri
Submitted by Joe
June 8, 2001, 55 Comments

I have often wanted to share some of my experiences of pooping at the workplace, but always stopped short of actually composing a piece about the subject for fear of not doing it justice. For me, as many others I'd hope, poop at the workplace is more than a daily habit, it is a profound and...

A Modest Proposal for Corporate Restruct
Submitted by doniker
June 6, 2001, 24 Comments

What moron came up with the idea of a room with several toilets and/or urinals in which a group of strangers can do their "business" together? What is even worse is doing it with your co-workers everyday. But it's not only pooping with co-workers that troubles me, it's the fact that if you don't...

Poop Causes Office Laughs... PoopReport.
Submitted by P.J.
May 18, 2001, 23 Comments

Today I was sitting at my desk when from the bathroom came the most revolting fart I have ever heard. It came from my co-worker (he has absolutely no couth to begin with), and after the fact was very proud of his prodigious poop sound. My loan processor was standing next to the copy machine and...

Office Bathroom "Brand X"
Submitted by Dave
April 27, 2001, 5 Comments

Office Bathroom "Brand X" manufactured by ????? ------ rated 4.27.02001 by Corporate Employee #234. RATING:     15/85 COST/THOUSAND SHEETS:     N/A COST PER ROLL:   free # OF SHEETS:   thousands # OF PLYS:   1/2 a ply...

An Ivy League Bathroom Crisis
Submitted by Jimbo
April 16, 2001, 7 Comments

I work at a prestigious northeastern university with no common poo sense whatsoever. My office used to be in an old building on campus where most of the bathrooms were old-school single occupancy stalls. These were located in out of the way places, and were perfect for private pooping. Recently...

Zen and the Art of Stall Picking
Submitted by Tim
March 21, 2001, 15 Comments

If you are like the average worker bee, droning away in your cubicle day in and day out, you know that getting through the day is a matter of merely perfecting a routine that will get you through the day. You have a pattern for how to avoid the "new project," for when to take lunch, and for how to...

Like Hansel and Gretel, if Hansel Had Dr
Submitted by JohnFloyd
March 20, 2001, 17 Comments

I used to work at a woman's clothing store called "Susie's Deals." I was a regular sales clerk with the worst customers living. We constantly had to deal with everyone's drama on a daily basis. The biggest problem people had with our establishment was that there were no public bathrooms. One brisk...

The Laughing Man.
Submitted by SkyBoy
February 26, 2001, 20 Comments

Laughing at myself I don't know what I ate, but it must have been mixed with gravel. I shot the hardest, heaviest turd rocket out the other day (at work too!)... it hit the water hard and sent a geyser of cold toilet water at my ass. Call me surprised because I gasped and start to laugh......

Trouble a-Brewin' in the Ladies
Submitted by Dave
February 2, 2001, 12 Comments

This email came today... you know, it's cute and funny on Ally McBeal, but in real life it's probably a lot more trouble. Have you ever tried to poop when the cute girl from accounting is in the next stall? TO:        Employees DATE:   ...

One Company. 60 People. No Toilets.
Submitted by Dave
January 25, 2001, 9 Comments

As I was walking to the bathroom, the receptionist shouted at me, "the toilet doesn't flush, so don't take a big crap!" As it turns out, the toilets are out of commission here at my company. Enjoy the following company-wide email exchange: (names changed to protect the innocent) HILLARY C...

The Official Survival Guide to Taking A
Submitted by Areth
January 15, 2001, 120 Comments

Areth sent this in a long time ago, after he got it from his friend Allen. This is an oldie but a goodie. Chances are, you got this forwarded to you at some point during your email life. If not, here it is, now preserved for the ages on PoopReport... Memorize these definitions, and pooping at...

Oh, The Things Our Receptionist Must See
Submitted by Dave
January 10, 2001, 15 Comments

I'm a very regular guy. I get into the office around 9:30 every morning, eat a bagel and drink some OJ, and then have my coffee. And every morning, almost exactly at 11:15, I go to the bathroom to take my morning poo. There is something about my body that loves to be regular. When I was in...

Poo Worker
Submitted by Melissa
December 28, 2000, 10 Comments

I recently came to the horrible realization that I am becoming the coworker I hate: that schmuck who saunters to the office restroom at 10 a.m. to take a poo. I once criticized a former employer for such behavior, and, frankly I still do -- she took it one step further towards impropriety by...

Bosses in the Bathroom
Submitted by Dave
December 21, 2000, 17 Comments

So after a long, boring meeting, I go to the bathroom to poop. As I walk in, I discover Sam, my boss and #2 at my company, talking to Peter, our CEO. So I pretended to pee and walked out. There's no way I could poop with them right there! And I couldn't even pee. I have trouble peeing when I'm...

How NOT to Impress Clients
Submitted by Gabe
October 23, 2000, 11 Comments

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