The Bathroom Is For What?
So I have mentioned that I work for a collections agency by now; before that I worked for an auditing firm. The firm had set up office in an old school building, along with some other agencies. My office was located downstairs in the basement of this building. Located right upstairs was a double stall, double urinal Men's room; the Ladies' room was at the other end of the hall, about 50 to 60 yards away.
It was that time of year when we had the big audits to do, and I often found myself at work really late. On this particular night it was rainy and cold, and so I decided to stay and work late, rather than go to the apartment by myself. As I was working, I realized I needed to drop a load, so when I came to a stopping point in my work I grabbed the iPhone and headed upstairs. I entered the stall and realized I didn't lock the outside door, but thought, "Oh well, not many people are here." I sat down and begin to drop the load. These stalls have only half walls and no doors, so they don't offer a lot of privacy. As I sat there playing a game on my phone, someone entered. I saw the door knob turn, and of course I eased up on dropping the load. I expected to see another shirt and tie walk in, after all I was in the Men's room. But no.
Running in came a women who desperately had to go. Yes, I again had a women come running in on me. Now, this girl and I actually knew each other rather well ( she is now my wife ). She came in and turned red, then realized it was me and not someone else. So, she went to the stall next to me and did her Number One. We talked, and I managed to keep from totally embarrassing myself while she was in there. At this point we were only really friends with benefits, so I was sitting there holding a lot of what needed to come out in. (This was a time in my life I am not very proud of, but she was the only friend with benefits I've ever had, and I decided to keep her.)
I was sitting there talking with her, I had managed to keep from embarrassing myself; however we were deciding to meet up at my office and head out. She didn't want to go home alone, and well, I didn't either. She had started me laughing, and well everything came out. Without my being able to hold anything back I unloaded. I turned so many shades of red I'm sure I was about to be glowing. I sat there, thinking, "Great. I'm not getting anything tonight." It didn't smell horrible, thank God, but between the farts and plops I was laying the load of a lifetime, and I should have been excited about it.
She kinda' laughed at me, and said I shouldn't have held it all in because she knew I was shitting, obviously, and she was fine with that. Then she walked over, kissed me on the forehead and said, "See you in your office in ten minutes."
As I was going she texted me, asking where I was. I told her I was still on the can and that I'd be up in a minute. I had just gone through three days of not pooing caused by my IBS, so I had a lot to expel. After I finished and exited the bathroom I went to my office, still having some discomfort in my lower bowels. I met up with here, we went to leave, and half-way up the stairs, I had to go again.
By now it was late. I told Stacy to hold on; she knew about my stomach issues and knew this was not uncommon. This time when I entered the Men's room I found it occupied -- with a guy down the hall and his girl of the night, doing the "deed."
"Great, I thought, "I don't wanna shit here, but do I really have many options? I barely made it up the stairs." As I weighed my options my stomach decided I was going to go right then; so I walked over to the toilet, pulled my pants down only as far as needed, and unleashed. As I did I got cussed at for using the bathroom. Really? The last I knew this was a bathroom, not a sex room. I didn't want to go there, and if I could I would have held it and wandered down the hall to the Ladies' bathroom.
I quickly finished and exited, leaving the bathroom door partly open. Everyone in the building heard Jason getting lucky and cussing me out for going to the bathroom... in a bathroom.
When we got to the apartment, my phone rang. A few fellow employees received sound clips from the two, and well, the whole office building knew of their late work night, and how much work they really got done. Why Jason didn't just take her to his office and lock the door, no ones knows; but despite my horrific bowel explosion in there good laughs were had by all! My wife and I still laugh about this night, Jason stuck to his office, and we never saw the girl again.