My workplace, an office, is being remodeled, and we employees have been booted to an old run-down building in another part of town. In my office I work with two other women, and as of right now I'm the only guy: The other one was fired.
We are small department in charge of collections for about forty large accounts. Our makeshift office has a small bathroom with three stalls and urinals out in the open, and it doesn't lock. Instead, it has a swinging door. Nice, I thought, the first day after having everyone walk in on me while I was taking a piss.
I made it through about four days at work before I had to shit. My IBS flared up and had left me lacking in the ability to shit well, so when I had the urge to go, I had to try. I decided to head the can, not sure if anyone else was in there, because I'd been on the phone all morning. I walked in, steered toward a urinal, and found the entire restroom to be empty... so I went to a stall, sat, and started trying to poop. I passed some gas -- nothing really impressive -- and decided to check up some hockey news on my phone. As I was reading and trying, I realized I was getting somewhere: painfully, but getting there nonetheless.
I had managed to push it about halfway out when someone else walked in and headed straight to a stall. I cleared my throat and said, "Hey, it's occupied." I heard a strain in my voice.
The lady we'll call "M" responded. "Oh shit," she said, and at the same time her load exploded in the toilet. Nice. Here I was, with the log of the century hanging halfway out of my butt, and a female coworker sitting next to me in obvious distress. She started to panic, hysterically apologizing for being there. I told her it was OK and to have no worries. Now, how she didn't notice me was beyond me, as the toilets are in an L-shaped set up, with half-doors that don't ever stay shut. She was in hurry, came in, slammed the door shut, and as she did my door popped open, swinging out. Great... I was sitting exposed to whoever else may have come in.
Well as I frantically tried to expel my turd, she finished up, flushed, and then just kinda' hung out in her stall for a second, obviously embarrassed to emerge. Meanwhile, I was still trying to get this turd to pass. I had been straining and grunting, sure that she had heard some of this. I passed some gas, realize I had to pee, and so I readjusted a bit. As I started to pee, I began to pass more gas, and the turd...decided it wasn't going to move. "M" came out, glanced my way, and realized she caused my door to open. It was as if she was saying "oh crap" in her mind. She turned red, looked away, and washed her hands and left. I asked her to swing my door toward me, but she gave no no response: She just left. Nice. My door was still open.
I'm sat there, still trying to go, and someone else walked in; this co worker came to check to see if I was alright. Come to find out "M"'s explosion was a result of her binge drinking the night before. "S" came in, looked at me, kinda chuckled, and said, "Only you would get in this predicament." She then came over and closed my door, but only after checking me out and chatting it up. (I had caught her checking me out before while I was at the urinal, and she was "washing" hands and "fixing" her hair, trying to catch a peep perhaps...who knew.) She chatted with me a bit and decided she was gonna' pee as well, not seeming to care that I was there. She talked some more and then exited, and I was finally left alone to finish my deed. I realized only about eight minutes has passed when I finally finished. Relieved, I cleaned up and walked out, and everyone except for "S" was staring at me. I guess they thought I'd be embarrassed, but I just said, "Hey, it's all good." Then I got back to work.
For the next two weeks, the girls would come in the bathroom and and holler to see if I was there. We complained about the non-locking doors, but Maintenance's answer to our complant was not to fix them; it was take them off completely. Nice.
I was caught many times at either the urinal or on the toilet, but I got used to it. Two of the girls decided they could do their business in front of me, and life was better. "M" couldn't look me in the eye for weeks, which I thought it was funny. She didn't drink much after that for a while, either!