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Death On The Throne: The Passing Of Elvi
Submitted by The Big Wiper
August 16, 2004, 235 Comments

On August 17th, 1977, newspaper headlines across the country, proclaimed the shocking news: The King is dead. Twenty-seven years ago today, Elvis passed away. Elvis Aaron Presley -- the poor, ambitious, rebellious young man from Tupelo, Mississippi, who gyrated Headlines like this...

On The Prospect Of Deja Poo (and pee)
Submitted by The Big Wiper
May 27, 2004, 32 Comments

It has been said that today's science fiction is often tomorrow's reality. At least two well-known works in this thought-provoking genre take the idea of recycling human wastes to mind-boggling (if not off-putting) heights, causing this PoopReporter to go on record as devoutly wishing that these...

A Father's Burden
Submitted by Spine
April 26, 2004, 22 Comments

My father. A gentle, loving man; a semi-retired college professor whose primary interests as he nears seventy are painting, golf, his little white dog, and Jewish history--specifically, the Holocaust. Raised in bustling, ethnic Boston, he somehow landed half a century later in suburban Phoenix,...

Turd Terrorism: Not Just Shits and Squig
Submitted by daphne
April 19, 2004, 52 Comments

In an effort to better acquaint myself with the core members of PoopReport -- the regulars whom I have begun to really enjoy hearing from -- I had been perusing old posts. Unfortunately, I found many posts someone named The Shitman had smeared all over this site. As a budding (or would we prefer...

Poop For Peace 2004
Submitted by Dave
April 13, 2004, 0 Comments

Click here for Poop For Peace 2005. April 16, 2004. Today, humanity stands on the brink. Iraq, Afghanistan, Israel, Kashmir, Rwanda, Haiti, Chechnya, Madrid... across the world, violence and horror overwhelm any progress towards peace and liberty. We are a divided species, basing our...

April 16: Poop For Peace Day
Submitted by Dave
April 7, 2004, 0 Comments

Poop For Peace 2005 has begun! The east hates the west. The Christians hate the Muslims. The liberals hate the conservatives. After a year of fighting in Iraq, the only tangible result is that the chasm dividing humanity is even deeper. In a war of aggression versus terrorism, the distinction of...

Camera Phones And PoopReporting
Submitted by Hairy Pooter
March 1, 2004, 28 Comments

Dave's mission for PoopReport has always been to create an intellectual repository of all things related to our common bond. He has traditionally shied away from allowing visually graphic content to be put on this site. Be it to reinforce that more cerebral vibe, or just to save on bandwidth costs...

Anti-Diarrhea Pills: Cure Of The Centur
Submitted by Honey Monster
December 22, 2003, 99 Comments

When most of us suffer from diarrhea, most of us just keep popping Imodium pills down our throats until the soggy mess clears up. But how many of us actually know what we are taking and what is going on inside our bodies after taking this miracle cure? It's soft, and you want it hard....

Turds In Space
Submitted by The Shit Volcano
December 11, 2003, 33 Comments

On November 27, The Shit Volcano wrote: In my household, after several shots of spiced rum, we got into a debate and could not settle on an answer. Question: if a whole turd was tossed into space, what would happen to it? Would it burn up in the atmosphere, or just freeze solid and become another...

Oneupsmanshit: For Guys Only?
Submitted by The Big Wiper
November 21, 2003, 125 Comments

In the movie Threesome, Stephen Baldwin's character responds to complaints by his two college dorm roommates that he doesn't flush his turds in their shared bathroom by saying that, "In some cultures, a man is judged by the size of his turds." The bigger the turd, the more manly the man, or...

Turd of Damocles: A Pooper Reflects
Submitted by Carlos
October 3, 2003, 27 Comments

Although I am relatively young, I have had more than my share of painful shitting experiences. I have endured everything -- frustrating, painful constipation; bung-melting bouts of molten diarrhea; and humongous, ring-ripping turds that left me limping like a professional bull rider after eight...

A Question of Squares: The Final Report
Submitted by Dave
August 27, 2003, 0 Comments

In 2003, PoopReport was commissioned by a plumbing and engineering professor at Texas A&M to determine how many squares of toilet paper the average person uses when he or she poops. Here are the results. A Question of Squares: A Survey of the Quantity of Toilet Paper Per Flush." (PDF 150k...

The Sociological Ramifications Of A Flyi
Submitted by The Big Wiper
July 23, 2003, 8 Comments

In his 1908 paper Character and Anal Erotism, no less a pioneering psychoanalyst as Sigmund Freud posited that "many people who exhibit certain character traits -- orderliness, parsimoniousness, and obstinacy -- also speak of a particular childhood relationship to a particular 'bodily function'...

Over 500 Million Served Daily
Submitted by doniker
July 9, 2003, 39 Comments

Hey -- shouldn't we be seeing more turds? Does anyone ever think that we just don't see enough poop? According to the 2000 census, there are 281 million people living in the United States. If everyone only drops one daily turd (which is a low estimate), that means that about 300,000,000 new turds...

In Search Of A S(h)itcom
Submitted by The Big Wiper
July 1, 2003, 38 Comments

Although PoopReport maintains impressive movie poop archives to which many PoopReporters have contributed, it's interesting to note that there is a dearth of such scenes on the boob tube. No doubt this has to do with broadcast content standards -- although they seem to have been relaxed regarding...

The Science Of Shameful Shitting
Submitted by Dave J
May 6, 2003, 38 Comments

PART I In many movies, from James Bond to Signs, we've seen our heroes lie in hiding, waiting endless hours while some known harm lurked about. We've all experienced something similar while playing hide-and-seek, or waiting for a practical joke to fall on our victim, or waiting for our parents to...

April 15: Poop For Peace Day
Submitted by Dave
April 14, 2003, 0 Comments

The East hates the West. The Christians hate the Muslims. The Democrats hate the Republicans. The war supporters hate the anti-war people. In such an increasingly polarized world, the barriers between people are growing insurmountable. Are we doomed to a world of arbitrary divisions and endless...

MythBusters: Stuck On An Airline Toilet
Submitted by Peter Rees, Ser...
January 23, 2003, 27 Comments

On January 23, the Discovery Channel will premiere a quirky new science and technology series. MythBusters takes on modern misconceptions and urban legends -- not just retelling the stories, but putting them to the test. Will six packs of Pop Rocks and six cans of soda make your stomach explode?...

Poopisms
Submitted by Dave
January 9, 2003, 33 Comments

Genius hides in the most unlikely places. I don't know how I first found Poopisms, but their wit and their total universal truth awe me. They are created by the mysterious "Walter", who claims to be a student. I don't believe it. Clearly, "Walter" is an ancient Zen master, masquerading as a...

CD Review -- Holy Shit! by Stump
Submitted by Anonymous
December 19, 2002, 5 Comments

James Whitcolm Riley. David Letterman. Jane Pauley. John Mellencamp. The Jackson 5. Larry Bird. And, of course, Dan Quayle. These storied names represent just a fraction of the Hoosier State's contributions Stump Holy Shit! Flusher Gusher Hit With Shit Shit or Swallow Funeral Flush No...

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