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Meet The Omniprocessor: Gates Steals Ou
Submitted by daphne
January 10, 2015, 0 Comments

If you read PoopReport, you know I appreciate Bill Gates. Yes, I know he committed antitrust acts. Yes, I know the only people his charity denies help to in some areas of Africa are pregnant women seeking abortions, even though he surely knows many of these women have been raped. In spite of...

Flare Addresses Poop: PoopReport Mention
Submitted by daphne
February 28, 2013, 2 Comments

I was contacted a few months ago by a writer for Canada's Flare Magazine to add some thoughts on why women experience anxiety about where they poop. The article posted a few weeks ago, but I was not aware of it due to an incredible spam overload in my PR inbox. The article is titled "Does...

Pinwheel Books: Writing All About Poop
Submitted by daphne
June 23, 2012, 4 Comments

One of the nicest things about being a part of PoopReport is that I get to talk to people from all over the world who realize that everyone poops, and that there is humor to be found in this fact. Better, we can trust that these people will raise poopers who also find humor in poop, and through...

Bathroom Follies: Jamie Benson's B
Submitted by daphne
March 22, 2012, 2 Comments

Jamie Benson, of Jamie Benson Studios, is putting some real funny shit on the stage this April. If you are lucky enough to be in Brooklyn for Triskelion Arts' Third Annual Comedy in Dance Festival and have fifteen bucks in your pocket, then you can grab a seat and see Benson's brown brain child "...

Never TMI About TMAU
Submitted by daphne
March 10, 2012, 4 Comments

Over the past ten years that PoopReport has been online, many of you have written in claiming that you are plagued with, for a lack of a better term, butt odor. You have submitted over one thousand comments under a few famous front page requests for help on the subject (here and here) that have...

History Of The Toilet: The Men Behind T
Submitted by EHirsch
January 25, 2012, 5 Comments

The toilet, that all-pervasive piece of pragmatic furniture, is not only an incredibly useful device, but also a symbol of human equality. All must sit down once in awhile, whether they be CEOs or hobos. Many find it to be the spot for their most interesting contemplations and inspirations. It...

Washers VS Wipers
Submitted by Poop John the First
January 25, 2012, 21 Comments

“The global toilet paper industry is worth fifteen to twenty billion ,and according to the most recent statistics available, the average American uses 57 sheets a day." Here is a little experiment: Take a finger and place it in some feces. Next wipe the finger as many times as desired with toilet...

Toilets Of The Future: Bill Gates Says
Submitted by Blind Mullet
September 15, 2011, 22 Comments

This summer an article was published from the Kansas City Star that tells us Bill Gates is setting his sights on world sanitation. According to the Star, 2.6 billion people on our planet do not have human waste sanitation outfitted with a pipe water supply or sewer system. If you did not know,...

A Critical Analysis of the Themes of Hum
Submitted by Pat86
August 5, 2011, 10 Comments

Everybody must poop. Even idiots who don't know a fallen tree from a log of crap know that taking a dump is critical to the functions of life. But perhaps the true connection between pooping and humanity has been kept a secret, as we see in the revelation from Bad Lip Reading on Youtube of the...

Jesus's Last Days
Submitted by Professor Schitz
May 18, 2011, 19 Comments

I first contacted Dave with a question about how people cleaned their backsides throughout history in 2007. This was just idle curiosity on my part; I was working as a history teacher at that time. Like other Poopreporters, I suppose I sometimes think too much about shit and the customs...

Micromidas: Important Shitty Little Ger
Submitted by ChiefThunderbutt
November 17, 2010, 7 Comments

Plastics are one of the world's biggest pollution problems. Many plastics are practically indestructible and will languish in landfills practically forever. They could also bob about in continent-sized flotillas in the middle of the ocean known at the Pacific Garbage Patch, where the little...

The Rename Poop Project
Submitted by daphne
October 15, 2010, 30 Comments

Editor's note: We were contacted this month by Sean Shafner from The Poop Project and asked to get you all involved in helping them redefine poop. We're taking it back, baby! Please read on: If “a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet," then how do we sweetly name something that...

The Turd As A Unit Of Weight
Submitted by Eric The Red
October 6, 2010, 12 Comments

Let's adopt the turd as the official American unit of mass. Right now Europeans are bitching and whining because we do not use the International System of Units (or the S.I. system). However, the average American thinks the S.I. system is gay, and refuses to give up their rights to a nonsensical...

Fart Explosion: Evans v. Provident Life
Submitted by The Dumpster
September 27, 2010, 15 Comments

In the course of researching a matter (which shall remain confidential) for a client of mine, I came across the following decision of the Supreme Court of Kansas. I would respectfully ask for PoopReporters' input on whether this decision ought to be the law or not. Heavily abridged, the opinion...

Poop For Peace 2010
Submitted by daphne
April 17, 2010, 20 Comments

Today, April 17, is Poop For Peace Day. If you're new to celebrating our most holiest of days, don't worry; all you have to is crank out a little poop and think good thoughts while you do in order to participate. Since Poop For Peace Day fell on a Saturday, and we don't usually post weekend...

Today Is World Toilet Day
Submitted by world_toilet_or...
November 19, 2009, 12 Comments

A cholera epidemic has killed over 4,300 people in Zimbabwe since late 2008. One hundred seventy of those people live in Chitungwiza, a sprawling high-density suburb of Harare, which faces sewage and water problems, the likes of which most of the world eradicated in the late 19th century. In the...

The Vacuum Power Of An Average Airplane
Submitted by Dave
July 8, 2009, 36 Comments

Seven years ago, the PoopReport community was embroiled in discussion about an unfortunate traveler who claimed she was vacuum-suctioned to an airplane toilet seat. Her claim was subsequently tested and disproven. But what was never in doubt was the suction power of an airplane toilet. AirTran...

How To Poop For Peace
Submitted by Dave
April 16, 2009, 0 Comments

HOW TO CELEBRATE POOP FOR PEACE DAY FRIDAY, APRIL 17, 2009 It doesn't matter whether you poop for peace at home, work, or a Starbucks in between. What matters is this: leave your newspaper on the couch. Leave your magazine at your desk. Enter the bathroom with nothing to...

Pooping With Mr. Pepys, Part 2
Submitted by mark of stain
March 19, 2009, 21 Comments

The Diary of Samuel Pepys is a unique record of life in the 17th Century. Pepys (1633–1703) was an English civil servant who recorded his day-to-day activities from 1660 to 1669. During that time, he witnessed the restoration of the British monarchy; the Great Fire of London; the plague epidemic of...

Cloaca No. 5 Produces No. 2 In Montreal
Submitted by Montreal Gal
March 6, 2009, 34 Comments

It’s not every day that you hear radio interviews about poop machines. Last week I heard an interview on CBC radio’s arts show Q. The host, Jian Ghomeshi, was interviewing Belgian artist Wim Delvoye about his art piece “Cloaca No. 5”, which was being exhibited in Montreal, not far from where I...

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