The Quiznos One Hour Challenge

// // 30 Comments
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
0
0
Chad Upton, the owner of brokensecrets.com, recently contacted us in regard to a comment he found by Leaky Bowel King on this front page story’s comment thread:

"…I came across your site today while doing some poop research. You see, a friend of mine realized that almost exactly one hour after someone ate a sandwich at Quiznos restaurant, they would have to poop! We talked about why Quiznos subs might cause this. For example, Quiznos has a sub spice (basil and oregano) that they sprinkle on all the subs or maybe it's just all the fiber in the bread. We don't know, but we believe there is some connection."

Chad is going to address the Quiznos one hour poop theory in an upcoming blog. He wants to know if anyone has a similar story, and if so, he’d like you to drop by and tell him about it. In the interest of science, though, we think we can do a little better for Chad than just relaying any previous stories; we’re issuing the Quiznos One Hour Challenge.

From today until Monday, May 31st, we’re asking all PoopReporters to eat a full meal at Quiznos, preferably a full sized sub, chips, and a drink. Record the time that you finish your meal, and record the time of your next poop. When you’ve successfully finished the challenge, come to PoopReport and vote on the poll that we’ll have up on the left hand side for the amount of time that passed between the two events. On June 1st, we’ll close the poll and send the results along to Chad.

Let your friends, co-workers, and family know what we’re up to so they can also get involved. Spread the word!


AFTER you take the challenge, you can record your results below.

/** * the following displays the most recent poll * and assumes you have the poll.module enabled * * Works with Drupal 4.6 * Does not work with Drupal 4.5.x * */ // Set the nid for the poll you want to display $nid = 5993; $poll = node_load(array('nid' => $nid, 'type' => 'poll', 'moderate' => 0, 'status' => 1)); if ($poll->nid) { // poll_view() dumps the output into $poll->body. poll_view($poll, 1, 0, 1); } print $poll->body;

30 Comments on "The Quiznos One Hour Challenge"

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

I do hope that you all participate and get your friends to do the same. You can take the challenge as many times as you want, but you'll have to find a different computer to vote from for each try; our poll settings allow one vote from each IP address, for each account.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I have to be honest. I have never had a Quiznos sub and I probably won't have one for the poll because...well...for one thing, there is no Quiznos by my house.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Figures....Quizno's shut down the Havasu franchise about a month ago...rumor has it the franchisee was stealing credit card numbers...


_______
"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Well, since I can't get Quizno's, and against medical suggestion, I'm gonna try this with Schlottsky's, Blimpie's, and (gag) Subway, skipping a day in between each to try to keep results separate.

Daph, is there a suggested or particular sandwich to have? I'm too tired/lazy to read the blog, or read the PR story.


_______
"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

I did not ask; but since there have been more than one person who recorded this, I would assume no?


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

I did go check Leaky's post, he had the 5 meat sub. Whether that's relevant or not....dunno

_______
"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Postman's picture
k 500+ points

I ate at Quizno's once and never went back. Not because of any poop problems, but because its too damn expensive to eat there.

Queezy-nose Blows's picture

Sorry, I won't be participating. My friends and I are now permanently boycotting Quiznos. Postman pretty much hit the nail on the head here. My friend and I went to a Quiznos near his place some months ago for lunch. We ordered our subs, and when the cashier rang it up, I nearly had a heart attack. You see, he's a vegetarian, and a picky one at that, so his sub only contained tomatoes, cheese, lettuce and onion. For this minimally loaded sub, they charged us a shocking $8.45. Considering that a ham and cheese sub was only $5.99, we were outraged. What if he ordered a ham and cheese, hold the ham? The cashier was adamant that "No sir, our manager told us that we are to charge $8.45 for vegetarian subs". After much haranguing, they did eventually refund us $2, but the whole experience was so un-enjoyable that I've never gone back, and I've urged everyone I know not to go either. No such issues with Subway, plus they have white chocolate macadamia cookies, yum. Moral of the story: Queezy-nose Blows!

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points

Can we enlist Jared to help with this as well ?

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

We have eaten at Quizno's twice, both times on trips, a few years ago. I do not remember any command performances on the toilet afterward. We liked the restaurant; good subs, decent prices, no discernible after-effects. If we should get to one yet this month, I will certainly vote on this poll; if not, I'll abstain because my memory is too vague.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

Jared is the spokesperson for Subway, Quiznos' main competitor, so I'd have to say, no.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Anonymous Coward's picture

The last time I ate at quiznos I was on the road, and stopped for a quick bite to go. It was a good thing that I grabbed some extra napkins because about half an hour down the road I was squatting in the ditch.

doniker's picture
j 1000+ points

I haven't eaten a Quizno's sub since I worked in downtown Cleveland in 2006.
I never had a problem with Quizno's nor did I have to shit any time out of my ordinary routine.
Now Subway is a different story....that place has given me a case of the shits several time.
I stay away from all of these "cold cut" sub shops...they suck.

B Everett Poop the hobo's picture

Well, I`m your friend C Everett Poop`s hobo brother......we have another brother- A Everett Poop, but we haven`t seen him since Jimmy Carter got elected. We think he may have gone to Canada.

I`ve been eating out of the Quiznos` dumpster for around a week or so now and have had no serious side effects to name of. But my stools have always been streams of hot thick liquid for years now.

Ever since that fuck Clinton came to power now that I think about it.

Thunderbox's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Luckily we don`t have Quiznos here, so I can`t comment on them.

Other than that, all fast food outlets suck dick in the amount of salt they use and the other shitty contents they don`t advertise, but they put in their `products`.

The voice of sanity

kentuckykin's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

No Quiznos around here, either. They don't seem to be very common, apparently, at least by the responses thus far.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

Box, you aren't kidding. The sodium content in many foods today plain sucks. My husband brought some potato salad home a few days ago when we had a quick dinner, and I actually couldn't eat it. It was so salty that it tasted bad. I think that eating natural unprocessed foods has cleansed my palate.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Anonymous Coward's picture

My ex-boyfriend and I used to eat at Quiznos regularly because it's close to my job. Our standing joke was making sure we would be close to the bathroom for at least three hours after we ate because it always hit us both like a ton of bricks. He would have unpredictable squirts within about a half hour of eating; I would usually go within the hour. Since we broke up, I haven't been back to Quiznos.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

It's been a long time since I ate at Quiznos and I can't remember anything happening. There will be one that I will pass in my travels today and I will partake in the survey. Getting the urgent shits should be interesting as I will be mobile and have to find accomodations on the fly. Wish me luck.

Mr Schitz's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I've eaten plenty of Quizno's. It's not something that has adversly affected my regularity, added an extra shit to my daily regiment, or forced an emergency evacuation. It gives me some extra aroma, but that's about it.

Maybe I'm just not eating the right subs.

Mr Schitz's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

White Castle sliders are a different story.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

I think White Castle sliders can only be digested by college aged, alcohol filled stomachs. I think that's what they were designed for.

fire eater's picture

I have eaten at Quiznos many times and the same thing happens to me, but I LOVE their PEPPER BAR!!! I think the peppers may be the factor that you are searching for. :)

Chemical Crapper's picture

the one that I've had was in Hawaii...

the sandwich plugged my bottom like a submarine in a sewer pipe.

Pantload's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Quizno's is alright if you've got a coupon. Otherwise yes, it's kinda pricey especially relative to Subway which I like better anyways. They both make me blow a grogan about 40 minutes after downing them. Sushi is only about twenty minutes... must be the wasabi!

What's so funny 'bout poop, love, and understanding?

What's so funny 'bout poop, love, and understanding?

poospicacious's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

i love quizno's, dearly.
and i have noticed the one hour later poop before!
however, this time it took me a while... from 1:30 pm, to 10:00 am. damn, i'm skewing the data!

_______
...i'm never done talking about it. (poospicacious)

...i'm never done talking about it.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Sorry, can't participate. I can't seem to get any real regularity established before attempting this, even without the quiz, I had 3 other franchise sub shops on my list, but I fear the results would be suspect.

_______
"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

ChrisM's picture
l 100+ points

I had one of their subs before, and it blew through me almost as fast as I could get home to the can. Makes me wonder if they have Ex-Lax anywhere in the recipe.

_______
The ChrisM virus is incompatible with your current operating system. Your system will now be rebooted into DOS and return to the virus.

The ChrisM virus is incompatible with your current operating system. Your system will now be rebooted into DOS and return to the virus.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

The only thing I noticed since downing a Quiznos sub was that all the letters in this thread appear to be leaning foward. A really wierd side effect. I would have preferred explosive diarrhea.

The Brown Eye Bandit's picture

I've noticed this same phenomenon with Subway as well. There is no Quiznos near my office and I have not eaten there in recent memory, but I get lunch from Subway at least once or twice a week and will attest that I've actually began to plan my lunch break habits around the poo timing. I'll go to get my sandwich and bring it back to the office, then sit and eat it while reading news articles. I eat slowly and take my precious time. It will usually take me about 30 minute to finish my lunch. I then set and read for another 20 to 30 minutes, and then like clockwork there is a rumbling. A very notably urgent rumbling at that. I spring from my desk and get to the restroom ASAP. By the time I'm complete the entire routine, from leaving the office, to returning and consuming, to waiting, then to the inevitable poo will take roughly 1 hour.

I've also noticed this same effect with the McDonald's Big Mac. Those are horrendous affairs and I rarely eat them because of the fact. That Big Mac leaves with a bang, a gassy, wet, slimy, explosive bang. Strangely, the McDouble does not have the same effect?

Is it the additional lettuce fiber?

Post new comment

  • Allowed HTML tags: s:62:"<em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <br>";
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.

More information about formatting options

CAPTCHA
This question is for testing whether you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.
Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters shown in the image.
To prevent automated spam submissions leave this field empty.