PooParcels.com: That's Some Crappy Chocolate

PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

Jeff had a dream. Jeff dreamed of making a little money, like all of us, but he dreamed of doing it by sending people poop. Poop-shaped chocolate, that is. With some very realistic poo molds designed by his talented wife, Jeff made some candy, and then he started Pooparcels.com.

Pooparcels.com is your number one internet site for edible poop humor gag gifts. Did a dad have a shitty work accident? Send him a chocolate turd.

Is your girlfriend acting like a shit? Send her one with loaded with peanut butter chips.

Did you friend have a baby? Send a congratulatory onesie.

Jeff told me that enjoys what he does:

Originally, I thought this was going to be a sort of "get back at someone" business but found out very early that it would work much better as a gag gift,so I created all the artwork in a lighthearted, funny way instead of a mean, menacing way. I like the idea of selling laughs much better than sending (a) mean message. As you know, toilet humor is increasingly popular, and as long as there is a market for it, I'll be selling chocolate poo.”

I asked what holidays he considered to be their peak sales periods, and he replied that Christmas and Father’s Day are the busiest, suggesting that it’s easier to give a turd to Dad than it is to Mom. I have to agree.

There are many custom messages that you can send for a variety of holidays and occasions. Here are a few of them:

Earth Day: “Save the Endangered Feces”

The birth of a child: “Congratulations on your little shit!”

Congratulatory message: “You’re the shit!”

Get well wishes: “Heard you were feeling shitty”

Religious: “Holy shit!”

Just because you care (their best-selling message, by the way): “Just to let you know, I give a shit.”

Of course, if you’ve like to put a personal touch on your turd, you can request a custom message. Simply fill out the information on this page and choose the date that you would like it be shipped. Jeff and his crappy employees will doo the rest. As the site's motto tell us:

"Not everyone deserves flowers."

Editor's note: Jeff sent us a complimentary PooParcel, and I have to say that it tasted great. The chocolate was excellent, not waxy or cheap. Thanks, Jeff!

8 Comments on "PooParcels.com: That's Some Crappy Chocolate"

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

When I eat corn I distribute the undigested kernels a little more evenly.

Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

ifartedandpooped's picture

haha. Funny idea. Also look at this funny poo:

Anonymous Coward's picture

Daphne, You're the SHIT! Thanks for the great article. Your poopreport is second to none in keeping us abreast of the Shituation!


Erica G's picture

I think this is an ADORABLE idea and I'm SO happy you're writing about it. "Poos" are a great gift and everytime I send one it brightens the day of the person I'm sending it to. Way to go Jeff and way to go PoopReport!

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Nice well-shaped logs; wish more of mine still came out in that shape.

Dr Scully's picture
l 100+ points

What a fun idea! Although I'm still tempted to send a mean one to my ex telling him to "eat shit".

Since chocolate is so moldable, I imagine it would be easy to make different shapes for different poos. Constipated? Send a box of pellets. Too much fiber? Send one in the shape of soft serve ice cream.

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points

I might consider this but not on Valentine's Day!

SeiryokuX's picture

Mmm those look pretty good...

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