Fun With Feces
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Happy Hotbox
Submitted by Billious
October 15, 2003, 35 Comments

For many years now, I've taken part in a public access radio show with a friend of mine. Given the slot of 2-5 AM, we are often the only ones in the building. Now before I progress with the poo, one has to know just a little bit about Luke. Luke has been confined to a wheelchair his entire life,...

Turd Terrorism... In Theory
Submitted by doniker
July 31, 2003, 50 Comments

Not that he would... but if he did... In no way do I support, encourage, or want to be a victim of turd terrorism. But reading about people who use poop for revenge, or people who play or eat poop for sexual gratification -- intrigues me, and puts strange ideas into my head. Surely many people...

Submitted by Epitaph
July 17, 2003, 19 Comments

Since my recent cruel and unusual treatment at the hands of my unforgiving boss at work vis à vis my toilet habits in the workplace (a sordid episode which I reported in full here previously), I have spent no small amount of time meditating on what possible transgression I may have committed...

The Do-It-Yourself Poop Story
Submitted by The Big Wiper
June 10, 2003, 51 Comments

After nearly six months as an active PoopReporter, I can truthfully say that the most prevalent and popular type of poop tale is the "explosive diarrhea under compromising circumstances" -- the ol' whew and phew! It's almost as if some folks take perverse pleasure in partaking in The Diet From...

Peanuts And CrackerJacks
Submitted by Smort
May 21, 2003, 27 Comments

When I played Little League Baseball, it was back before the time when every park had either a built-in pooper or one of those "corvette shitters" (fiberglass igloos). Consequently, there I was in left field with NO outs, an awful pitcher, a blowhole the size of Mount Aetna, and nowhere to go....

Portapotty Vendetta
Submitted by Billious
March 26, 2003, 33 Comments

Towards the end of the Summer of 1995, the neighborhood newsletter had an interesting little blurb that read something like this: "The end of another summer is at hand, and it leads us to reflect on the peaceful nature of our neighborhood. With the exception of two or three troublemaking...

Blue Moon
Submitted by Clyde
January 17, 2003, 36 Comments

As children, Darin and I were both the kind of kids who were never left alone, lest we "get into something." In what may have been 1993, nothing had changed. Darin and I both lived in Washington state; two Single American Males in our mid-to-late twenties. We were separated by a drive of...

Apoocalypse Now
Submitted by Turdcutter
January 8, 2003, 50 Comments

Our lives in 21st-Century America are such that extreme violence is our form of entertainment. From the news to the movies, violence and horror is our everyday. And yet -- TV has not desensitized you as much as you think it has. There are crimes against humanity more shocking than you can...

The Time Capsule
Submitted by Ass Phlegm
December 17, 2002, 41 Comments

I'm sure everyone's had some sort of twisted story from their wacky childhood. I know my childhood was chock full of them! Some relating to poop, some not. Most of my poop stories involve a certain person I'll call "Malcolm Dickstain". He was my best friend all through growing up. Although, since...

Emancipating The Shameful
Submitted by Rev Dan
December 6, 2002, 12 Comments

At the moment, I am working as a Christmas temporary at a catalogue shop. I usually work in the evenings, taking the stock from the delivery van to the shelves. It's shit work, but the pay is OK. I work with a few people, most notably Colin, whom I've recently renamed "Colon" because a) he is a...

White Shower
Submitted by Phaze
November 8, 2002, 57 Comments

Normally, Turd Terrorism cannot be justified. But in this case... I am what you call a very clean pooper. Anytime I take a poop, I have to take a shower afterwards -- I don't want any filth on my bum. But sometimes, you have to sacrifice. A few days ago, my wife wanted me to go to the mall and...

Martha Stewart's Leavings: Save Tim
Submitted by Bblinn
October 31, 2002, 31 Comments

Being a housewife is not an easy job. Think of your mother -- she always had the answer to those domestic problems. There were easy ones, like "soda water will take out red wine stains from practically anything." Or, "a box of the cheapest cereal from your grocers-aisle can double the mass of any...

The Dangers Of Lighting Farts
Submitted by fecaltreacle
October 15, 2002, 177 Comments

A couple of evenings ago, I was browsing through PoopReport when I came upon an article which contained a reference to farts (not inconceivable by any means). My curiosity stimulated, I ran a search on google, and discovered a site dedicated to this topic. Browsing through this site, it wasn't...

The Movie Poop-Scene Database
Submitted by Dave
October 7, 2002, 197 Comments

Right now, this project is a work in progress. When it's done, we can look upon this archive with pride -- future generations will use it to understand the mysteries of our culture long after we're gone. So we need your help. Know a scene not yet archived? Submit it to us! function jumpTo (parts...

The 1997 Ass Olympics
Submitted by Ass Phlegm
July 23, 2002, 48 Comments

Back in 1997 I used to travel with my best friend's carnival up & down the East Coast. Since I was best friends with the owner, I got to run the games -- money, money, money! Jeff and I have always been fascinated with grossing each other out in competition. It started in high school (yes,...

Suffering For Art
Submitted by Nightstalker
June 12, 2002, 31 Comments

Editor's note: This was emailed to our PoopReporter Hershey-Squirts, who forwarded it to me. I do not know if it is true or not... if the FBI comes subpoenaing my files, then we'll know the answer. I have been plagued for the past year with an unusual bowel complaint. My stools, instead of being...

Between A Rock And A Hard Hat
Submitted by Quervobilly
March 8, 2002, 21 Comments

I used to work out on the oil rigs in Alaska in the 80s. The oil rigs are a pretty prime place for practical jokes, pranks, etc. Somebody was always pulling some kind of shit and trying to get one up on each other out there. Since the hours are long and the work is hard we would liven it up by...

The Upper Decker
Submitted by Txscatlbear
February 15, 2002, 46 Comments

I was living in a small cul-de-sac of apartments, in a non-descript southern coastal state. My neighbors were comprised of several burly Coast Guard guys. Their roommates were a couple of corn-fed hogs that hated everything we did, except toss them some weed, which they used at the bars for dick-...

Man Charged With Felony In Fake Feces Pr
Submitted by Dave
February 7, 2002, 103 Comments

21-year veteran Deputy Sheriff Gabriel Bruno is facing felony charges of vandalism after leaving fake poop in the judge's chambers at the Rhode Island Superior Court. Justice Joseph F. Rodgers, Jr. of the RI Superior Court launched an immediate police investigation upon discovery of the fake faces...

Dung On and Draggin
Submitted by G Ras
January 10, 2002, 44 Comments

My family had next-door neighbors that didn't like us. Oh, they pretended to like us, but the old man Big John La******, try as he might, couldn't hide his disdain for us... well, for me in particular. He had two sons, John Jr. and Peter, who in his eyes were incapable of any kind of mis-anything....

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