Fun With Feces
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Memories Of Wally
Submitted by doniker
April 10, 2006, 54 Comments

Editor's note: Doniker wrote this back in 2002, but it was never published here on the front page. He recently dug it up for your reading enjoyment. I had to work the day after Thanksgiving. The office was dead, and I could have taken the day off, too, but I'd already used up all my vacation time...

My Childhood Poop Chute
Submitted by Dixie Blue
February 23, 2006, 27 Comments

Growing up in the early 1970's in a very rural area, it was common for everyone to have outhouses. All my neighbors up and down our little dirt road had running water, but no indoor toilets. No one knew much about installing a commode and plumbing, much less putting in a septic system. If you grew...

Boarding School
Submitted by Bunga Din
January 24, 2006, 36 Comments

After being expelled from high school three months into my first year, my parents were at their wits' end as to what to do with me. The answer was boarding school: a rigid institution a good hour-and-a-half drive down the highway from their house. The school was very academics- and discipline-...

Left After The Leaving Ball
Submitted by scatoman
January 17, 2006, 18 Comments

I was quite an introverted, studious teenager. I grew a Beatles moptop-style hairdo to hide behind and had very little social life until I got to university. However, in my final year of high school, I did manage to go out drinking a bit, and attended a few parties here and there. One such party...

The Poo Bride
Submitted by Rev Dan
November 22, 2005, 46 Comments

When it comes to poo, Pete is the opposite of me. Where I would refuse to go, he would; where I would be quiet, he would make a point of making a lot of noise. In short, he is the most shameless shitter in existence. One of the first memories I have of him is at a party deciding that it would be a...

Encounter With A Closet PoopReporter
Submitted by Crapola
October 21, 2005, 30 Comments

Last week I was in an upscale bar/restaurant on Third Avenue in Manhattan. After a couple of Pinot Grigios, I went to the ladies' room to pee. There was a horrible poop stench in the tiny, two-stall room. A pretty blonde girl was washing her hands vigorously in the mini-sink and looking...

Found Feces
Submitted by PINWORM
September 22, 2005, 56 Comments

My mother used to accuse me of being "silly." After all, once I reached the age of three, I was already showing prodigious skill in the artistic genre known as "Pee Pee Poo Poo Fartism." I was highly skilled at turning any topic of conversation into a giggling laugh-riot about urine, defecation, or...

Prime Rib Special And The End Of Innocen
Submitted by Goatroper
September 21, 2005, 36 Comments

Imagine yourself at your most miserable poop moment -- your sickest, most feverish, most bowel-bruising squirts sprayed out in some filthy coffee can in the middle of the street in Calcutta. Imagine the horror of being upperdecked in your own home. No, imagine a crap-and-wrap in your own home....

The Fantastic Five
Submitted by Darth Viper
August 5, 2005, 32 Comments

I didn't mean for it to happen. I never wanted anything more than to go to the bathroom, do my business, and get back to shopping with my wife. I always swore that what happened that day in the Sears bathroom would stay there, in my heart and in the hearts of the other half dozen or so guys that...

The Heartbroken Wind Breaker
Submitted by PatrioticPooper
July 27, 2005, 40 Comments

Throughout my life I've been the frequent victim of an unpredictable and uncooperative bowel system. It's often been a significant source of pain, fear, inconvenience, and embarrassment. Thus it's my unique pleasure to recount the single incident in which my digestive tract impacted my life in a...

Faux Poo
Submitted by Poopster39
March 31, 2005, 38 Comments

This is one of those heartwarming coming of age stories that we all look back on with fondness. The year was 1975 and I was fifteen years old. I was in the process of taking a dump in the bathroom downstairs. Nothing special, so I won't even bother to describe it. As I relaxed on the pot and got...

The Scorned Woman
Submitted by St_HotPants
February 3, 2005, 44 Comments

I am an avid lover of hot wings. I search them out. I've sampled the product from literally hundreds of restaurants. Tops among all these restaurants is a Denver area catering service/restaurant named Woody's Wings N' Things. The owner and I have a very competitive relationship -- he will call...

The Longest Two Days
Submitted by Gene I.
December 17, 2004, 38 Comments

I can't confirm the authenticity of this particular story, but the guy who told it to me swore up and down that it was true, and I believe him -- because the story is so messed up, and because Mike, the guy who told me, wasn't swift enough or creative enough to make up something like this on his...

Oh Tannenbomb
Submitted by Shatty Cake
December 3, 2004, 25 Comments

He had been threatening for some time to document his poo. My boyfriend and I decided to go out for cheeseburgers the night before Thanksgiving. I had put myself through a vigorous, two-hour workout that day, so I figured I'd earned it. We went to a local diner. He had a cheeseburger with bacon; I...

Crusty The Snowman
Submitted by The Shit Volcano
October 21, 2004, 68 Comments

I hate the snow. It's hard to believe that a few years ago I would be happy to see it falling on the back porch of my parents' house. Snow was the mythical, magical stuff of transformation, at least until the dogs went out and turned it into a giant white, yellow, and brown exhibition piece. I...

The Internet's First PoopReporter
Submitted by Dave
June 30, 2004, 38 Comments

Just looking at Tom Reingold, you wouldn't think that he changed the world. A systems administrator from New Jersey, he sports a John McEnroe haircut and, judging from the pictures on his web site, a penchant for polo shirts. He's a looks like a normal guy, just like you or me. But he's not. Tom...

Can't Flush This
Submitted by General Colon Pow
June 25, 2004, 70 Comments

It was the worst of times. I was living in a crummy little studio apartment in an apartment complex on Long Island. The maintenance staff at the complex consisted of three assholes -- well, two assholes, and their wannabe-asshole bitch. One of the maintenance assholes was particularly crusty: a...

Dropping The Bomb
Submitted by Poop Poop Pa Dupe
May 24, 2004, 47 Comments

When I first left my wife, I ended up staying with a girl I met less then an hour after I left my ex. We were staying on the tenth floor of one of the most rundown apartment buildings I have ever seen. It was late summer and hot as heck, and no A/C meant we had to keep all the windows open. To make...

Running From The Lav
Submitted by Peristalsis
May 19, 2004, 42 Comments

My turd terrorism may have taken a life. In the summer of '84, my little brother and I went off for a weekend of "camping" (translation: drinking beer and doing bong hits in an air-conditioned cabin while listening to Dio and Judas Priest). We'd started drinking as soon as we cleared our parents...

Kick The Cup
Submitted by Latrina
March 17, 2004, 40 Comments

I was in Vegas with a few girlfriends in September '02. After our five-hour jaunt out of LA and through the desert, and some greasy fast food along the way, I was pretty excited to be approaching the Strip as I could feel the burger and shake begin to rumble in my stomach. With my courtesy car...

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