Fun With Feces
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Bowel vs. Bowel: The Missing Event
Submitted by Postman
August 22, 2008, 48 Comments

Watching the Olympics this week, and seeing all these athletes with their perfect bodies winning all their medals, it occurred to me how the average, everyday person could be a part of this: pooping should be an Olympic event. Think of the possibilities. You wouldn't have to have separate events...

You Go Girls
Submitted by Artful Dodger
July 24, 2008, 31 Comments

I just deleted this gem that someone tried to post on PoopReport as a comment. Someone is looking for new talent. But sorry guys... ladies only. Of course, given the current strength of the euro to the dollar, I might shave my ass and put on a long wig. Anyone got some bran muffins...

My Friend Kenny
Submitted by crap doctor
April 30, 2008, 51 Comments

Kenny and I have been best friends since we were six. He has always been an upstanding guy and a good example. We grew up in a small Mormon town in Eastern Arizona, and our childhood was a lot like a Davy and Goliath cartoon. Kenny never smoked, drank, did drugs, used profanity, or had premarital...

Bricking A Shit
Submitted by Blind Mullet
April 29, 2008, 22 Comments

Sydney's suburbia was a very different place in the early sixties. There were not many cars, there was very little street crime, and most people walked from place to place. Traffic lights were a rare sight, and street lighting in general was reserved for the main roads. The shops all closed at six...

The Appreciation Of Poop Humor
Submitted by MSG
April 25, 2008, 31 Comments

What are favorite jokes about poop and pooping? Here's mine: Two drunks stagger about in the woods and suddenly come up behind a man with his pants down. He is pooping. One drunk says to the other, "I'll hit him over the head, and you grab the cigar."

The Royal Fart
Submitted by Dave
August 7, 2007, 67 Comments

In A World Of Colored Flatulence
Submitted by Professor Schitz
August 2, 2007, 55 Comments

Suppose, due to an unavoidable celestial event (let's say a non-lethal storm of radiation from a passing asteroid), all fart emanations from human and animal life on Earth were no longer invisible, but came out of our bodies in bright, whispy clouds of vividly-colored gas. Imagine how this could...

The Spill Of Victory
Submitted by smeltmyfinger
April 20, 2007, 27 Comments

Picture it: Charlotte, North Carolina. The year was 2002. The month was February. A carefree young lad filled with the promise of a new day took in a deep breath of the late afternoon air before entering the cozy confines of 176 Berry Blossom Drive. He pauses momentarily to compose himself as he...

Cooking For The Cookie Crook
Submitted by postapoop
March 27, 2007, 53 Comments

Disclaimer: This could actually hurt someone. I grew up with brothers -- two large guys who made it quite easy for me to fart on a first date and laugh about it. I endured torture beyond belief for a girl. I have been pinned down and farted upon, I have had a toilet blow up on me... but that's...

My Own Medicine
Submitted by dolmance41
February 1, 2007, 50 Comments

I have been experimenting lately with various vile and arcane combinations of foods to cause the most gut-wrenching flatulence imaginable. Combine that with the fact that I am also insanely hyperphagic, as you shall soon find out. When I was eighteen, I once made a girl puke in college by simply...

The Domino Effect
Submitted by spackle
January 29, 2007, 22 Comments

Some time ago, a biker friend of mine named Mad Dog told me about a party he wanted to throw for his biker buddies. He had been talking about this party for months but never could seem to get it together. Planning and executing things wasn't his strong point. Finally he called me up one day and...

Dog Day Afternoon
Submitted by SamDamnit
January 8, 2007, 51 Comments

When I was about eight years old, I had a dog named Harry. Harry was older than I. My mom tells me that when he noticed all the people paying attention to me as a newborn he jumped into my bassinet, scaring the living shit out of my family. Despite our inauspicious first meeting, he and I got on...

Flung Dung
Submitted by Boopoo
December 6, 2006, 49 Comments

It was my big-boned sister's turd, and it was she who flung it. I was about seven years old at the time. Suzie would have been about eleven. Our cousin, Ben, was a year older than me. The three of us had been walking through the woods on the way from his house to ours. We were nearing the end of...

Halloween Night PoopReporting
Submitted by Chocolate and V...
October 31, 2006, 39 Comments

With a little creativity, many Halloween candies and pastries can be used to resemble poop. Here are my favorites: Chocolate-covered peanut clusters. Tootsie Rolls (especially the large ones). Baby Ruth bars. Dark chocolate ice cream with pieces of fudge mixed in. Iced chocolate doughnut holes....

Everyone's Lovin' It
Submitted by drivnNdrinkn
October 31, 2006, 19 Comments

I was doing one of my road trips with my buddies. We all got together after work, ate at the Spaghetti Factory, grabbed a case of Bud Light, and hit the road. Around 9:30 at night we pulled into this super busy Meggy Dees. I think the town was Decatur. Most of the clientele looked to be teenagers....

The Dooking Of Joy
Submitted by Bunga Din
September 5, 2006, 31 Comments

I've been reluctant to tell this story to my fellow poopers because I did not want to taint my otherwise fine reputation. But after recently being told by a family member that it was one of the funniest things they could remember from my childhood, I have decided to share it with you. We'd put a...

Runs From The Border
Submitted by poo-per-ee
August 28, 2006, 65 Comments

If you ever get a chance to visit South Padre Island, Texas, I highly recommend you jump at the chance. Beautiful, pristine beaches, lovely restaurants, five-star hotels, and the icing on the cake: you're only forty miles from Matamoras, Mexico, which makes for an exciting day trip. I was down...

At Sea With The Mad Shitter
Submitted by poo-per-ee
July 24, 2006, 32 Comments

I spent four-and-a-half years proudly serving my country aboard the USS Enterprise. If you've never been aboard an aircraft carrier, let me try to describe the environment. Everything is painted gray or white. Cables, pipes, and valves jut out or pass through every wall (we call them bulkheads). No...

Farting For Spite
Submitted by The Extruder
May 2, 2006, 67 Comments

In the mid-80's, my new bride and I were among thousands of West Virginians who migrated to North Carolina for real work. I told my wife that because of the distance and expense, I could only bring her back to West Virginia once a month. She informed me twice a year would suit her fine. As it...

Fun With Flatulence
Submitted by SamDamnit
April 13, 2006, 38 Comments

Back in the early nineties, I met a guy who used to light his farts for fun. I don't mean that he would get drunk and do it on a dare -- I mean this guy would stand up, turn off the lights, and whip out his lighter whenever he felt a fart coming on. And he was really good at it. (Though not as good...

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