Do You iPoop?

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PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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There seem to be iPhone applications (apps) for everything these days, and the subject of poop humor is no exception. In case you happen to have an iPhone and you are a PoopReporter, here are some of Poop apps available.

iPoolish: Polish it Turd Polisher

This is just weird. I have no idea why someone would buy this app. You spend a few minutes rubbing your fingertip over the iScreen like an i-Diot:


Tweet Your Poop

With this app, you can Tweet your turds to Twitter by twiddling your two tapping thumbs over your touchpad. This app allows you to choose the color and quality of your turd before posting. Does anyone have this app? If so, what is meant by quality? That seems rather ambiguous.

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Poop the World

This app brings the world together, literally, by allowing people to send in the times and places that they poop to one database. Not only that, but the app allows you to use one of many interesting names for both the type and odor of your latest creation. As you record your stinkers, they are recorded in a trophy room where, upon completion of the list, they become available to you. Here’s a video to explain:

iPoop (version one)

If you wonder about your health, and you poop, this is an app for you. Categorizing your poop by color, consistency, and number of times per day will allow it to tell you a bit about yourself.
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Fowlplay: Poop on People

Fowlplay is an iGame where you get to be the pigeon for a change. Poop on people without flying into trees, and the game gets faster. The reviews of the game all mention above average graphics for an app game.

uPoop

If it’s knowledge you seek, and that knowledge is how much toilet paper you might need for the burrito festering in your lower colon, this app can help. Choose the meal closest in description to what you ate, and the app gives you a weight and a plumbing recommendation.


Monkey Sheep Poop Fight

Choose to be either a poop-flinging monkey or a turd-chucking sheep in this game. The monkey can move faster, but the sheep has great aim. Whatever. It beats looking at the guy across from you on the train who can’t stop picking his nose and actually thinks no one notices.

Pricy Poop

This app is my favorite. Ever wonder just how much you’re getting paid to crap? With this app, you can find out. All you have to is simply input your yearly salary and hit Enter. If you have the internet connected on your phone, this app allows you to upload the results to Facebook – that is, as long as your boss isn’t on your friends list.

There are more apps available online; one of the poop at work apps computes an hourly wage instead of a yearly salary, for instance. With poop songs to listen to, poop jokes to read, and a variety of fart apps to choose from, there’s enough poop humor to keep you entertained no matter where you are or how long it will take you to get there.

22 Comments on "Do You iPoop?"

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Funny, the apps concerned with actual poop seem to focus on quality and color but have nothing for stench.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going put my iAss on my big white iCrapper and take an iDump.
_______
Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

C Everett Poop's picture
j 1000+ points

Iphones, Ipods and Ipads, and video games are for fags and that includes my wife, the gadget queen. Put that piece of shit down and read a book.

Thunderbox's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Agreed, CEP. I don`t even have a mobile phone, never have had one or needed one. No doubt when the next real war involving the west starts, cyber warfare will be a large part of it.

You can guarantee that when the mobile phone networks go down, 99.9% of all those under 25 will just curl up and die right there and then.

The voice of sanity

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

CEP and T-Box ... I am in almost total agreement ... about a year ago my wife insisted that we have a mobile phone just in case of an emergency. We used it a few times during the local flood when we had no utilities for a week, but other than that it has never been used. We carry it with us when we're out of the house but it is for outgoing calls only.

I pay $10 per month for carrying and unused phone with me but it could be a lifesaver some day.

Nothing, not even a movie, compares to the entertainment value of a book.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Especially if there's a centerfold in it.


_______
"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Thunderbox's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Porn, Bilge......why does it always have to come down to porn.....

The voice of sanity

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

I'm talking about the 3 fold layout of the Bugatti Veyron in February's edition of Car and Driver....assumptions, T-Box, why does it always come down to assumptions with you?


_______
"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Thunderbox's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Dear, oh dear.

Bugatti Veyron, indeed.

I know you too well to believe that nonsense........you`ve been delivering indecent material of yourself to the retirement homes again.

You`re trying for next years lucrative "stud at one hour`s call out for old and infirm ladies of wealth" contract.....dirty money grabbing swine.

The voice of sanity

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

You're just pissed because I thought of it first, and have more than adequate access to rich blue hairs here.


_______
"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Thunderbox's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

You have a point.....I could be a tad jealous, specially of you grabbing the previous 15 one year contracts over there on a run.....

If I was allowed into America I`d challenge you - and no doubt win....but the immigration fuckers would just send me directly to Guantanamo on arrival.

Our old folks generally die at about 40 years old here, mainly due to the constant rain, cold and total neglect shown them by their menfolk.

I think we have three very small retirement homes for wealthy ladies in the whole country....but they`re only old due to them being lesbians....

I have no work here...

The voice of sanity

big poop queen's picture

I have an app called Take a Dump!! and i love it..what it is a toilet and you need good aim to put the poop in the toilet from the sewer!!

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

Well, I to be honest, I would certainly love to post some hilarious stories about poop instead.

TBox, take one for team, willya'? Drink a few bottles of mag citrate and eat a couple cans of chili. Then run five miles through town.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

P.S. I kind of agree, CEP. While I love that phones can take pictures now, my phone is just a phone, and it's turned off half the time.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

We have a pair of cells in our house, but we've dropped the land line. The cost for the two cells is just a tad more than Verizon's cost for the land line. So for a few dollars per month more, we get portability and two telephones.

I had been thinking about adding my sister and maybe even my father to my plan. If they dump their land lines, I'm sure that we will come out ahead.
_______
Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

Deja, I didn't have a landline when we lived in Fort Knox, either. Our cable gave us the internet, and our cell phone took care of the phone.

It seems that people will split cell bills these days. For instance, two families I read about that lived next to each other had a total of five cell phones; so one family established a cell phone contract with five phones, and the two families signed a legal contract amongst themselves to pay two fifths and three fifths of the base payment and then split the added lines correctly. The difference between them doing this as one bill and doing it as two separate families was something like one hundred dollars, so each family saved fifty. You'd have to really trust the other party to do this, but it makes sense if it can be done.

We recently bought a modem for our cell phones that gives us service within fifty feet of the modem, because service at our home is sketchy at best. Now, the kids and Mr. daphne and I don't fight over the one land line, which we keep because of power outages. It was worth the initial cost and five bucks a month extra.

I think it's always good to have a local land line in case of emergencies for us because we live way out in the sticks.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points

I am a low tech shitter. Clean, quiet and solitary is all I need.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

We have cell phones now but use them only to call out, never leaving them on to receive; the reason we got them was a trip: one Christmas day we set out from VA to visit our son in OH and ran into a blizzard in WV; just as we got into some really heavy snow, the generator in our car conked out, our lights went very dim, and the motor sputtered slowly but managed to get us to the next exit, where (miraculously) we found a motel. Had this happened a few minutes earlier, the car would have stopped completely, in the mountains, in a blizzard; we could have died. Hence the phones.

I have heard of people sending each other pics of their poop via phone; another application for the new Iphones, no doubt.

phatmanxxl's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

To bad my android phone only shits text messages, I do like that Fowlplay and ipoop. I should email the devs and request to have it ported over.

Mayor McTurd's picture

so just because i have an iphone, i can't sit down and enjoy a book? and here i was, thinking there were a lot of enlightened souls here... just because YOU don't like something, it doesn't mean the people who do are fags. if you like anal sex with your girlfriend/wife/mistress, you're much closer to being a fag than me... with my phone i can carry thousands of books in my pocket. i have around 20 on it right now.

poopergurl's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Personally I'm not big on this kind of technology. I think it's pretty funny poop is now on the latest technology. What is this world coming to?!?!

Anonymous Coward's picture

obviously anyone slamming technology has no idea how to use it and just wants to flame so that they can enjoy something other than a "faggy videogame"

poospicacious's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

here's a thought - can PoopReport come up with an App?
because i would bloody REJOICE. and buy the shit out of it, and spread the word!

...i'm never done talking about it.

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