The Internet's First PoopReporter

// // 38 Comments
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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Just looking at Tom Reingold, you wouldn't think that he changed the world. A systems administrator from New Jersey, he sports a John McEnroe haircut and, judging from the pictures on his web site, a penchant for polo shirts. He's a looks like a normal guy, just like you or me. But he's not. Tom Reingold is an Internet pioneer. On November 26, 1990, Tom Reingold became the first person in the history of the Internet to use the word "poop" to talk about his poop.

Meet Tom Reingold, the Internet's first PoopReporter.








Tom Reingold, our new hero.





In the years before the web existed, Internet users did their talking and their arguing on USENET. Developed in 1979, USENET (a.k.a. newsgroups) became the home for any subject anyone wanted to discuss; members of net.parakeet, for instance, talked about parakeets. In 2001, Google heroically posted twenty years worth of USENET archives so contemporary historians could browse these 800 million pieces of social history. Thanks to Google, we can read the Internet's first mention of Microsoft, or Michael Jordan, or Return of the Jedi.

And thanks to Google, PoopReport could uncover Mr. Reingold's landmark post. In the context of a potty-training discussion on misc.kids, he wrote:


I used to care a lot about privacy when using the toilet. I didn't like my wife to talk to me through the bathroom door and I got upset if she didn't close the door when she used the toilet. Things have trained drastically since Madeleine came along. I don't pee standing up with her around. For one thing, I don't want her to do it, and for another thing, I feel vulnerable doing it. The thing I do which is a little hard but necessary is to let her see my "poop" in the toilet before I flush. She sees it's like hers. Then I flush and we say bye-bye.

This post is the first time someone discussed their poop online, in so many words. This is the post that changed the Internet forever, opening the door to such online cultural benchmarks as Ryan's Steakhouse, Doodie.com, and, of course, the literary exploration of poop humor that is PoopReport.com. It seems innocuous to those of us desensitized to taboo by contemporary online discourse; but back in that earlier, more innocent era, when computer users were all bespectacled gentleman-scientists observing strict rules of decorum and calling each other "old bean," someone posting about their butt sausage must have been a bit jarring indeed.

Fourteen years after his milestone, PoopReport caught up with Mr. Reingold. Taking great pains to assure him that we aren't a bunch of creepy Internet poop stalkers, I had the distinct honor of being the first to inform him of his illustrious position in history. He reacted with good humor.

"It is a bit creepy," he replied in an email, "but that's OK."








Read the groundbreaking post!





In Internet time, 1990 is ages ago. But in bathroom time, not much has changed. The ideological apparatuses of the fecal denial were set in place in Victorian times; with over a hundred of years of state and society telling us that the most universal human experience is unmentionable, it's no wonder that it took early Internet users over a decade to grow comfortable enough with the medium to break this taboo.

"I suppose I could be the first person ever to talk about his own poop on the net," Reingold said. "And maybe I even realized that I was a pioneer, because I was, of course, being extremely frank when I wrote that. That's an indication of my parenting approach."

By discussing his poop with maturity, Reingold became a historical figure. PoopReport is proud to carry on his legacy; on this site and in the ages, his place in history is assured.

Reingold's daughter Madeleine was amused and a bit embarrassed about her role in her father's celebrity. Fortunately, as Reingold reports, her story has a happy ending: "My daughter now uses the toilet successfully every day."

-- Dave

38 Comments on "The Internet's First PoopReporter"

Tydirium's picture
k 500+ points

Wow. The first person to talk about poop on the Internet. You must be so proud. You, sir, are a hero. Either that, or you were very prescient in foreseeing the net's imminent plunge into the crapper, circa 1997 or so.

Hairy Pooter's picture
l 100+ points

BRAVO! What really makes Reingold's story spectacular is how it's an actual Poop Report! Not just "Oh, that gorbechev is a poop." or "Oh my free Wendy's solar eclipse viewing glasses are poopy."

ThreePly's picture

Tom Reingold deserves his own Budweiser's "Real Men of Genius" commercial spot.

the shit reaper's picture

this is AMAZING. I didn't know about USENET or that it was archived. some great info

Skid Marky Mark's picture

I was going to make fun of shit reaper for never hearing of newsgroups, until I thought about it and realized that since the advent of the web, usenet has really gone out of favor. And the first time I used the web was over a decade ago (ah, the days of Mosaic). And then it hit me...as far as your average 20-year-old is concerned (assuming you don't really start paying attention to the world around you until age 10), the web has always been. Oh god, now I really feel old.

So don't make fun of shit reaper, I guess, make fun of me for not realizing I'm an old fogey.

Obligatory poop reference: I just took a dump that smelled so bad that while I was in the stall dumping it, I heard a coworker come in the bathroom, then start choking, and ran back out, slamming the door behind them. Sorry.

Tydirium's picture
k 500+ points

As I recall, it's important to note that Tom's post isn't the first appearance of the word "poop" on the Internet. It's the first time someone used the word to talk about the deed. The first time someone said "poop" is here: http://www.poopreport.com/blog/b2poop.php?p=1111

Grogan Man's picture

Wow, I didn't know all of the old USENET posts had been archived. If anyone's curious, I found one of my very first foray's into the world of poopreporting, and the idea of compiling them all into one place. The link is:

http://groups.google.com/groups?q=%22grogan%27s+Bridge
%22&hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&selm=pinhead.407.000CF90B%
40islandnet.com&rnum=1

Grogan Man's picture

Sorry, Or, you can just do a search for "Grogan's Bridge" under Groups.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

(Real Men of Gen-ius, Mr. Pioneer Pooprepor-rter...........)

"Tom Reingold, Christopher Columbus of the intestinal rumpus, take a bow."

(Poop poop poop poop poop)

"Where no man ever dared to step, you did, possibly with a tp-laden shoe and a rickety IBM, to open the doors for discussions of ass crumbles, courtesy flushes, and toilet paper quality......"

(twotwotwo ply for meeeeeeeeeeeeeee)

"So, crack open a cold one, oh exaulted one who introduced number two, and enjoy your place in history."

(sweet sweet history........)

"Anheiser Busch, St. Lewis, Missourri"

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Slim Jim Junkie's picture

Daphne, that post was the best I have seen all day!

I hope Budweiser buys that and pays you royalties.

dookie dog's picture

Thanks Daphne for the laugh, your the genius White House advertisers of Chicago writes the commercials for Budweiser you ought to apply.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Great things happen when I'm drinking.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

dookie dog's picture

Your lucky, the last time I drank I barfed on a cop.

the shit reaper's picture

HAA-HAAA! skid marky mark is old

The Malicious Pooper's picture

Uh... I'm gonna ponder all day how you found out about the first poopreporter...

ThreePly's picture

daphne, that was just the spot I was looking for.

Cheers to Tom Reingold!

Crapola's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorl 100+ points

Daphne,

You're the best! Loved the Bud. And "Great things happen when I'm drinking."

If there were Academy Awards for poop reporters, you'd be Nicole Kidman!
Or, um, Nicole Skid-man

Piece Out!
Crapola

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

I'd be two Nicole Kidmans. I've got a big butt.
But, thank you! Hopefully, I can lose the Nicole I look like I've eaten by Christmas, because I really would like to lose a little weight.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Jaja's picture

Old 1983 report about cat poop:
http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF
-8&safe=off&threadm=209%40nbires.UUCP&rnum=106&p
rev=/groups%3Fq%3Dpoop%26start%3D100%26hl%3Den%26
lr%3D%26ie%3DUTF-8%26safe%3Doff%26scoring%3Dd%26
as_drrb%3Db%26as_mind%3D12%26as_minm%3D5%26as_mi
ny%3D1981%26as_maxd%3D2%26as_maxm%3D7%26as_maxy%3
D1985%26selm%3D209%2540nbires.UUCP%26rnum%3D106%2
6filter%3D0

Jaja's picture

Oops...sorry, I screwed up the page. :(

dookie dog's picture

Daphne, Oatmeal prunes, and tofu....

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

I eat tofu. I'm a vegetarian. I just eat too much of it at 3 AM.

You know how people always say, especially slightly chubbo chicks like me "there's a beautiful thin woman inside me, just waiting to be seen?"
Well, I agree. It's because I ate her.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

dookie dog's picture

Well we got something in common I have eaten a few of those women too....You eat tofu at 3 a.m.? are we talking about the same tofu? Oh well ya know it takes time to lose weight I think you said you said your in your 30's, right? It's easier now you hit your 40's it's hell my gal was only 42, bam! gone I'm 46 about 100lbs overweight, boderline diabetic and believe me it's hell just trying to lose a few pounds, you got a few years man! don't put it off it's not worth it. love dookie dog.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

I am going to get rid of this junk seriously as soon as the unpacking is finished.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

pinched loaf's picture

Wow, to think that I actually know this guy! I'm going to have to give congrats where it's due and slip him some stink palm.

bigdoodiehead's picture

Tom, I can honestly say you've done your doody to the Internet!

Tom Reingold's picture

Pinched loaf, who are you? Send me an email in the next couple of weeks. I plan to delete this email address soon.

Thanks everyone else! :-D

Tom

geoff domme's picture

HOLY CRAP! That is the last time i will ever have a chorizo and egg burritto from tejuana! That gives johnny cash's song ring of fire a "hole" new meaning!

erin's picture

my friend told me that theres this website where you type in all the things you ate today and they show you what color your poo looks like........... is this the right address????????

the phantom mess's picture

i was thinking back about this article today after reading it, recalling it as i sat on the can, and i then turned my attention to the fact that over the last hundred years, there has not been any innovations into making toilets that prevent back-splash. and then it hit me...the back-splash i mean, not an idea to solve the problem...but oh well.

Serge's picture

Tom,
you are indeed the king of po(o)p.....
Not because you describe something we all seem to enjoy, but because you actually get to enjoy it with your wife

L Wrong Hubbard's picture
l 100+ points

This is indeed history. Good on you, Tom, and thanks to Google for keeping the old NET in circulation.
Long live poop

Happy trails,
L. Wrong
Chairman & CEO, PPK Industries

Happy trails,
L. Wrong
Chairman & CEO, PPK Industries

L Wrong Hubbard's picture
l 100+ points

PS I love the username "Skid Marky Mark." Makes me laugh, then I realize I am at work and have to look busy.

Happy trails,
L. Wrong
Chairman & CEO, PPK Industries

Happy trails,
L. Wrong
Chairman & CEO, PPK Industries

Bunga Din's picture
j 1000+ points

Here's a site which shows archived websites. www.archive.com, punch in poopreport and you can choose pages from as far back as 2001.

Bunga Din's picture
j 1000+ points

Sorry correction it's www.archive.org

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

*sniff* This chokes me up. I am glad to know that his daughter is using the toilet to do her doody. What a great dad.

SamDamnit!
President and Commander and Chiefof Poopreportia
http://www.myspace.com/saintcarnivean

SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points

As usual, the great composer Wagner summed it up best in his opera, Das Rheingold:

"Rheingold! Rheingold!
Reines Gold! Wie lauter und hell
leuchtetest hold du uns!
Um dich, du klares,
wir nun klagen: gebt uns das Gold,
gebt uns das Gold!
O gebt uns das reine zuruck!

"...O leuchtete noch
in der Tiefe dein laut'rer Tand!
Traulich und treu
ist's nur in der Tiefe:
falsch und feig
is, was dort oben sich freut!"

Which, being translated, means:

"Rhinegold! Rhinegold!
Pure gold!
How clear and bright
thou didst gloriously shine upon us!
For thee, bright one,
we now mourn: give us the Gold,
give us the Gold!
Oh, give us the pure Gold back!

"...Oh, if only thy flawless
treasure still shone in the deep!
Familiar and trustworthy
is it only in the deep:
false and craven
is all that rejoices there up above!"

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points

Mr. Reingold is a poo-ioneer.

Great article Dave, very informative.

More and more people are starting to come out of the (water)clost (sorry, couldn't resist the pun) about their personal bathroom habits, and it's a good thing.

Damnit, did I just quote Martha Stewart?
_______
Watch out for the deadly F4, though he's been gone since '53, he will be back.

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

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