Ask Snapper: Can My Butt Really Fall Out?

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l 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
0
0

Snapper rectifies the rationale of a rectal rumor. Someone (let's call him Heather's husband) uses the bathroom as a place to get some 'me time'. He takes his Nintendo DS in there and plays video games on the pot.

Someone else (let's call her... um... Heather's Mom) has repeatedly warned that if you sit too long and too often on the toilet that 'your butthole will fall out'.

Is this a genuine possibility? Can chronic pot-sitters, after years of taking their sweet time, have their buttholes fall out because of it?

Signed,

I Left My Butthole in San Fransisco


Dear Butthole,

Is there no where else ‘Heather's husband’ can get some ‘me time’? Are Heather and her husband living at her parent’s? That can be a cramped living situation. It's unfortunate that he's found the can as a sanctuary, because it indeed can cause health problems.

Admittedly, I am a fan of the comfort of my toilet. I can recall commenting at one point that I'd like a toilet in my living room in front of my TV, because it is fairly comfortable. I wouldn't actually go through with that because Western style toilets are conducive to causing unnecessary strain while going Number Two. This is because the circulation in that area gets congested when someone hunkers down while taking a crap, and the blood supply has a harder time returning to the heart than it does leaving. Thus, blood can pool in the veins and cause bulging in the anal area. Can you guess what this is called?

Yep, hemorrhoids. Ouch.

If ‘Heather's husband’ is needing the length of a good Nintendo DS gaming session to get his bowels moving, he might want to consider upping his fiber and water intake as well as getting more exercise.

I hope this helps.

Happy Crappin',

Snapper

Snapper is a general medical-surgical Registered Nurse. And a Canadian one at that. She is not a doctor. She has never claimed to be one. She doesn't plan on ever being one. But, dang! She sure is smart, wonderful, and hot. She does not intend to give definitive medical advice on PoopReport.com, and the information provided here is not a substitute for readers seeking medical advice. All concerns should be followed up by your doctor.












28 Comments on "Ask Snapper: Can My Butt Really Fall Out?"

Postman's picture
k 500+ points

I have to disagree. I sit on the throne every morning for 10 to 15 minutes reading the paper and I have never had a hemorrhoid. It's not the sitting, it's the over straining that causes them.

You're right about the added fiber and water. Get enough of those, and there should be no problems.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

The American Gastroenterological Society agrees with Snapper. The linked page mentions not sitting on the toilet for too long under the Preventions for the same reason Snapper mentions.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

C Everett Poop's picture
j 1000+ points

I hope my butthole never falls out. That would make things difficult to say the least.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

CEP, if it ever does fall out, I hope I'm not following you up a ladder.

seat filler's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I Left:

Heather's Mom is laughing at you.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Could 'your butthole falling out' mean a prolapsed rectum?
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Today I was sitting in my living room dressed in my boxers, why wear out your clothes when you are inside, when the urge to go to the bathroom struck. I accomplished the deed and on my way back to my computer it happened. My butthole fell out. I would never have known if it hadn't been for my cats, they though I was dragging a piece of twine for their enjoyment and were engaging in a playful attack. I hope my butthole is not in such tatters that it can't be reattached.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

Thunderbox's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Could be a new way of crapping, sp. You`d have to have new toilets, maybe 20 feet deep.

Your entire guts would prolapse out and then retract slowly and evenly as the turds were squeezed out as your guts came back in through your clenched ringpiece. You might only need to crap once a week if that was the case.

The voice of sanity

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points

Tbox -- 6 feet deep would doo just fine. We only need to prolapse and empty the colon.

You do NOT want to smell that stuff while it's still in the small intestines, just ask anyone with an ileostomy bag.
_______
Open your eyes AND your mind to the power of food!
Health via Food (scroll down to read by chapter)

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Chief, that is funny. You made me laugh. You have such an imagination. Thunderbox, ah, the mental image I got of an intestine slithering in and out of a clenched ringpiece, turned my stomach right after I laughed with the Chief.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

I think my ringpiece just fell out! It's all brown and crusty, and appears to have some blood on it. I'm horrified!

Oh, phew. Nevermind. A piece of my fried calamari marinara just fell of my plate.

I guess the 5 second rule applies.

Thunderbox's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Pd, Chief would have grabbed and eaten the fucker without a second thought, even if he accidentally ate his own ringpiece by mistake. Free food is food not to be wasted - "hillbilly code - regulation 401".

The voice of sanity

ILeftMyButtholeInSanFransisco's picture

I guess the question is "Do hemorroids in any way qualify as 'your butthole falling out'?".
Yes, Sittingpretty, I'd tend to interpret "your butthole falling out" as something like a prolapsed rectum. Can you get a prolapsed rectum, or something resembling that, from too much time on the pot? One poster, in response to "how long can you safely sit?" posted something that was the equivalent of "the human rectum is not made to bear the weight placed on it by prolonged squatting." If that's true, there could be something to this whole butthole falling out thing. Otherwise, it sounds like the equivalent of "if you keep doing that, you'll go blind."
I am not, in fact, Heather, Heather's husband, or Heather's mom; but the whole scenario piques my intellectual curiosity, as well as making me laugh every time I tell someone "Be careful. Your butthole might fall out." All I know is, I'm not gonna be the one sewing that butthole back on.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Sewing isn't necessary, Gorilla Glue and a couple of vice grips will do the trick.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Just trim it up with some pinking shears before gluing it back. Put's some rifling on those torpedos.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Good point, PD, helps with accuracy, and overcomes freak windage. Stabilizes trajectory, allowing for a more complete follow through.


_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

I think of that terrible photo taken of a weightlifter after he tried to dead lift something and failed. Snopes.com investigated the photo and found that, while the weightlifter story was false, the picture was that of a real butthole. Be forewarned that the following link is gross, gross, gross:
So Not Safe for Work Picture of a Prolapsed Butthole

So, yes, your butthole can fall out, as can hemorrhoids, but the chances of this happening from just sitting on the pot and playing video games are probably slim to none.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

vegetarian pooper's picture
m 1+ points - Newb


_______
I like poop coming out as much as food coming in

I saw that photo on rotten.com among much worse stuff

I like poop coming out as much as food coming in

Colon Chowdah's picture

That picture is actually just the aftermath of an unusually thorough tax audit.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

I wonder what the medical protocol is for a prolapse that is that bad? When a cow is in that shape, which will sometime happen after giving birth, they are normally sent to the abattoir.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Chief, the doctor just uses a Sawzall to get that thing flush again. That and a good splash of rubbing alcohol.

Jay Osh Double Duce's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Oooohhh!!!! I'm ill now. I followed the link and scrolled down to the picture of the power lifter's prolapsed guts. That pic is not for those who have recently eaten... pretty much anything. Bleck!!!

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points

by going to the bathroom to use his game boy, one would have to wonder if he is playing with himself.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

PD....I have read your Sawzall comment ten times and every time I read the words "rubbing alcohol" my asshole tightens up...damn..there it goes again!


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

AAAAgh!!! That is the grooosssest ever. That poor guy as that must hurt!
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points

I saw a nasty porn video once that showed a woman who could prolapse her rectum at will, and it would just go back to normal when she wasn't pushing it out.

You probably don't want to know what else she was pushing out with it...

... unless you're nasty. If so, call me Ms. Jackson.

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

Holy Shiite's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

The alternative is to stand on your head, pull your knees to your chest, and shit upwards. With the aid of a carefully placed little chute, you might even be able to deposit your turds in the toilet bowl without making a mess.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Sorry HS, I tried that. The chute failed to deploy and the poor little bastard crash landed on the sink. I still have nightmares about it.

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