my farts smell really bad

PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

Motherload offers some odor-reducing tips.Smellyass Asks:

I have the worst smelling farts of anyone I know. Even I can't stand the smell. I want to know how I can get rid of the terrible odor that comes out of me. Could there be anything wrong with me to be causing this terrible smell?

I eat a balanced diet with no excess of anything I can think of. What could be the cause??

Dear Smellyass,

Some folks' opinion of a "balanced diet" really don't meet all the good health standards that are usually implied with the term. Just because you don't eat any one thing in excess does not mean that all the stuff you are eating equal parts of are really that good for you.

Gas does tend to stink more when the farter consumes foods that are either not so good for them (such as high-fat fried foods, sugary confections, and carbonated beverages such as sodas and beer) or things that disagree with them (such as foods they are allergic to or intolerant of, like dairy or wheat products).

Illness can also be a contributing factor in the scent and intensity of the flatulent odor. Celiac disease, diverticulitis, colitis, bacterial overgrowth/imbalance, and even cancer could be the cause of some really smelly fumes.

Here are some tips from Kendra Dahlstrom of eHow to try to make your farts less stinky:

1) Try cutting out the dairy in your diet. This seems quite drastic, but an excess of milk and dairy products in the diet can cause extra smelly gas. If your gas odor has not severely declined within two or three days without dairy, go ahead and add it back into your diet.

2) Decrease your intake of oily, fatty, fried foods. Not only is this bad for your gas, but greasy foods are also horrible for your health. Do everyone (including yourself) a favor, and cut them out of your diet.

3) Eat artichokes. Artichokes have the strange ability of neutralizing gastrointestinal odors. Although this is not a commonly eaten food, try to incorporate it into your diet.

4) Eliminate all carbonated beverages from your diet, including pop and beer. Carbonation tends to exacerbate the odor of gas. Again, if this does not improve the odor within a few days, you may go ahead and add them back to your diet.

5) Cook your vegetables before you eat. It's extremely easy to grab a handful of baby carrots or broccoli florets for a snack. Unfortunately, your digestive system has a more difficult time breaking down raw vegetables than it does digesting cooked vegetables. Make sure all roughage you put into your stomach is cooked, and your gas odor should improve.

Hope these tips help. If not, you could get you some of those activated charcoal underwear inserts and just fart away without worrying about the smell. Here is one good offer on them: Charcoal Underwear.

Thanks for asking Motherload!

Motherload is Certified Nurse Assistant as well as an IBS sufferer, which means she knows a lot about poop. Got a question for her? Ask it here.

330 Comments on "my farts smell really bad"

Postman's picture
k 500+ points

You can't stand the smell of your own farts? They must really be toxic. Most people don't mind the smell of their own farts, as the late great George Carlin once said.

This could actually be useful in certain situations, like when you're standing in a long line at a store or bank, or when you have guests at your house that you wish would just go home.

The Thunderous Crapper 63's picture
k 500+ points

My farts are rancid but I enjoy them! Thats why I am so Thunderous.
The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!


ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

I picked the user name ChiefThunderbutt because my flatulance is the stuff legends are made of. I was told by a friend when in the Air Force, "If you were an indian your name would be Thunder Butt."

I take pride in my farts and love the really stinky ones the best. I enjoy them even more when I am able to share them with others.

I have shared them through devious means a few times. I was once expelled from the control tower cab in which I worked because of my gas. The watch supervisor sent me down to the latrine and told me not to return until I had taken a shit. I continued down one more level to the room that contained the air conditioner, I climbed into a chair and farted into the air return vent. The crew was huddled around the vents in the tower cab getting fresh air. It made me very happy when I heard their voices coming down through the vent, "God damn, it smells worse over here."

Stinky butt,you have been blessed with a great gift. Learn to enjoy it.

Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Sorry I got your name wrong, I should have said smellyass rather than stinky butt, but a rose by any other name smells just as sweet.

Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

Butt Dumpling's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I love it when my farts smell that bad. I like to pass by my kid's room, let one loose, and yell "Bask in the aroma".A few minutes later they come out screaming.Usually yelling something like "Damn it Dad,the whole house smells like shit!

phatmanxxl's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

I love to fart, the bigger and stinkier the better. It just feels good.

Try some of those green guacamoli chips, eat as much as you can. I'm suprised the EPA didn't come after me that day.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

I buy artichokes about once a month and make either artichoke dip or just eat the leaves after they've been steamed.

It's best to use an artichoke as as soon as you get it home. Cut off the top inch of it and, using good scissors, cut of the tips of all the leaves that you can see on the outside.

With lightly salted water, simmer the artichoke or steam it until the leaves are tender, which can be from twenty to thirty minutes. Immediately remove it from the water, drain, and then cut it in half. Pull the hard bristles off the heart, and with a good knife, press it against the underside of the larger leaves towards the bottom of each one - the pulp will come out and some of the inside leave fiber. With this and the heart, you can get roughly a half cup of eatable stuff from an artichoke.

Butter, or lemon and butter, or lightly sauted with olive oil and butter, then baked with salt and parmisgan, they're a nice twist to the normal diet of veggies.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

Hieronymous Bowels's picture
l 100+ points

I agree with motherload about the beer thing. Certain types of beer, especially lighter beers that use corn in the malt like Rolling Rock can cause the most god-awful farts in the world.

Postman's picture
k 500+ points

You're right. Beer farts are by far the most god awful smelling things in the world. The only thing that may be worst are those rotten egg farts. I don't even like to be around myself when I experience those.

shitwit's picture
k 500+ points

Daphne, I'm going to print that recipe for artichokes! That sounds so good!! Lately the only artichokes I've eaten have been in that spinach and artichoke dip. But that's loaded with dairy and gives me the most foul gas and explosive diarrhea. Besides, I'm looking for something lighter to eat while I try to slim down a little.

Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

If I can find it, there's a recipe for spinach and artichoke dip with soft tofu and fake parmisan cheese that tastes really good but has no dairy at all. Give me a day to find it somewhere in the mess of that pantry.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

For the most wonderful smelling of all possible farts you must eat "gyoza",
small meat dumplings (your choice of flesh)
with lots of cabbage, garlic and onion. These little gems can be steamed but are much better pan fried. They are dipped in a mixture of soy sauce, sesame oil, rice vinegar and chili pepper. They should be washed down with prodigious quantities of beer.

The farts that ooze from your anus several hours later will be hot and rancid. Those who are around you will be highly entertained. Daphne....if you read this you can also make a veggie version of gyoza.
It's kind of a Japanese version of shumai.

Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

PooperPrudence's picture

I've found that starchy/carb loaded foods are more inclined to make people fart.
Heck, I didn't know I had lactose intolerance until I told my doctor I had really stinky farts (accompanied with bowel pain also). She asked me to stop having milk products for a week and the stinky farts went away!'
Also, I've read that cumin helps combat gas, so a word to the wise!

IFART's picture

I have been suffering with IBS for a number of years with having abdominal pain in my left side around lower back and left rib cage mainly. I have tried many herbal remedies and been to the doctors so many times I just forget how many it is now! I was loosing hope and thought there was no cure for IBS sufferers. I really find it hard to also stick to a particular diet aswell. I seem to also have very bad gas which is extremly embarrassing, especially when I am in a meeting at work or I have to visit the dentist or something.

I recently came across these shreddies underwear! I was so shocked when I saw what they did and how they worked on my local East Midlands news. I thought that is was a big mystery and I was intrigued to find out what they did so I bought some. They really do work! I can't believe how much my life has changed in a short space of time due to wearing this underwear. I hope that all sufferers in my situation are able to come across this amazing invention! I got them off the internet- where I do most of my research for my IBS problem. They truely are the best rememedy I have come across by far!

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

WTF!!!!! I just had a bowl of "Shreddies" for breakfast. I feel sick.

Thunderbox's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Do you eat other types of clothing as well, pd - or just your undies?

The voice of sanity

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

I will occasionally eat a ski parka when I'm trying to fatten up for my winter jaunt to Nome.

Hum bunger's picture
l 100+ points

The artichokes work! Yesterday I woke up with really baaaad gas. The kind like unto the power to kill donkeys with. Bad, bad, bad - tear jerkers - all day long. So I tried the artichokes for dinner. It was a complete success. The gas continues, but without the reek. Thank you Motherlode.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Curse you have deprived the world of the stench it so much deserves.
I personally wear a brand of underwear called "stinkies". Stinkies, through the marvels of modern technology, increase the stench of you farts by a factor of ten.

Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Chief, do you fish the "stinkies" from the outhouse and wear them wet, or do you dry them first.

Gas Master General's picture

I once farted in my gf's car, she demanded we roll down the windows. I complied with her request, then the smell got even worse. She wasn't able to get the smell out till the next day. I am the KING of gas!!!

Monica Lehman, Las Vegas NV's picture

I am the queen of gas. I like to cup my hands over my bare ass, then fart, then smell my hands.

Thundercheek's picture

um..k. Flatulence isn't that special.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

With an attitude like that, you're on the wrong site.

We here at Poopreport believe the fart to be the Trumpet of Truth, the Heralding of All that is Fun, the Dutchest of Ovens. Not special? Be damned, Thundercheek! I curse you to be fartless! To rue the day you overlooked the ability to clear the room! Curses! Curses!

Shit Volcano just had her second child, so I felt a need to post what she might have decried at such sacrilege. Always got your back, Shitty!

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

Cappy's picture

OMG - I am so happy that I am not alone. My farts smell so bad, sometimes I can't stand the smell. They linger, if I fart in the car,it takes about 2 days for the smell to go away. My kids hate walking past my room, they say it always smells like farts. I find it hilarious and laugh my ass off when I fart. I know others smell it and it probably makes them sick to their stomach... My husband and closest co-worker are immuned to my farts. lol lol lol

PoopyConnection's picture

I love my farts, but sometimes, i'm embaressed, and i have to hold them in when i'm at school. I don't want anyone pointing and laughing about this chick who 'let one rip' in math class. is it dangerous to hold in your farts? i know it's bad to hold in your pee, but is it the same for farts?

my brother is the same, he's god massive shit farts, and he loves farting in the car then puting the AC on recycling. :D what an ass.

ANTIMATTER SPLATTER The splatter that even flushing wont shi's picture

rofl and farting! who said men cant multi task! i keep ppl awake farting they hear it and laugh an cant sleep and i'm well gone lol i've made a friend's girlfriend nearly spew b4 as well, she was reachin and trying to congratulate me on a fine Air biscuit :) well i think thats what she was trying to say i couldnt make it out through the sick noise lol poor girl but i certainly made an impression! i wouldnT try lighting mine for fear of becomin the first truly self propelled human using an internal combustion engine! i can create the effect of a turkish kebab shop if i eat the correct ingredients as well its genious! many thanks to all i'm glad i found this site! poop for victory!

Hot Fart King's picture

For time immemorial, I have released the raw gaseous effects of hot rotten eggs and pure sulphur into the once clean air. This unsweetened breeze, horrendous...horrid. Every now and then there will be nothing. Then back to the wretched, fetid, dry-heave inducing, olfactory nightmare. Vile. This putridity may linger anywhere from minutes to entire half hours. I do not have the will to modify my food intake for fear of displeasing the malodorous gods of my lower intestine. Those vicious bastards of the deep. I can feel their tumultuous dance of anger now as I narrate. They are sickened by my sacrilege. They are branding a lung of despair. For I am destined to spread the unhallowed wind of raw sewage until I expire.

I will be survived only by the stench of my unfair bowels...

I'm the Hot Fart King, I can stink up anything.

Prim & Stinky's picture

Help! I am a gastric bypass patient, had the surgery 7 years ago with excellent results EXCEPT... My husband makes me sleep in the other bedroom because my farts are so deadly! He has threatened to leave me because he can't take it anymore. Are there any other GB patients out there who have learned to cope with this problem?

Rotten eggey's picture

my fart smells REALLY BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I go outside and fart because it smells so badly. I'm really freaked out because my farts smell like rotten egg. i mean really really rotten and it smells so bad i even run away from it. OH MY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous Coward's picture

phew, wot a relief! my bfs left the room(can breath again)hes bein choking me since we got up with his ass gas, smells as if sumfins died up his ass, its so bad, it makes my eyes water. Wot a gr8 site, ive been the long term sufferer of the worst farts ever being constantly blasted from my mans ass, this week has been especially bad, he smells like dog shit, wots that all about???? i dont feed him dog food!!! but after reading this page, dont feel so bad, kinda feel glad of the fact my bf is not the only person who could clear a room within seconds of letting one rip, or knock out a small army with the stench of one of his 'morning farts' i was searching for advice on how to save my poor little nose from his foul scent, he doesnt like artichokes, so i guess hel just have to stay of the beer an fry ups, he he he. stay foul evry1 x

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

AC, try feeding him dog food. It sounds like you got nothing to lose.

Squeeker's picture

Once I held in a fart and was trying to let it out a little at a time. I was in my first year of high school. My mission was unsuccessful and a high pitched squeeker of a fart. I learned to just let them out when they were knocking on the door. Sometimes I have my fingers waiting at the door for the windstorm, sometimes they smell like dill pickles.

Anonymous Coward's picture

Is this shit a joke?

BINH HOA's picture

My record is a 15 second fart, not much of an odor. Every morning.

i have briey fingers's picture

you speak pure undereducted shit (no joke inteneded) xxxx

Allen Ginsberg's picture

Scatological Observations

Young romantic readers
Skip this part of the book
If you want a glimpse of life
You're free to take a look

Shit machine shit machine
I'm an incredible shit machine
Piss machine Piss machine
Inexhaustible piss machine

Piss & shit machine
That's the Golden Mean
Whether young or old
Move your bowels of Gold

Piss & shit machine
It always comes out clean
Whether you're old or young
Never hold your tongue

Shit machine piss machine
I'm an incredible piss machine
Piss machine piss machine
Inexhaustible shit machine.

Brown or black or green
everything will be seen
hard or soft or loose
shit's a glimpse of truth

Babe or boy or youth
Fart's without a tooth
baby girl or maid
Many a fart in laid

Shit piss shit piss
fuck & shit & piss
Fuck fart shit Piss
It all comes down to this

Beautiful male Madonnas
Wrathful Maids of Honor
To be frank & Honest
Stink the watercloset

Shit machine piss machine
Much comes down to this
Piss machine shit machine
Nature's not obscene

Shit piss shit piss
How'll I end my song?
shit piss shit piss
Nature never wrong

Jim's picture

Man, the day after a night of hard drinking beer. Besides of enjoying the nice after effect of nausea, my farts stunk so bad I thought I was decomposing internally. Even the dog couldn't stand it.

howling arsehole's picture

my shiter realy needs to bee checked out my farts could clear the rats of a rubish tip i tell u . my m8 once said i sgould get a job as a scarecrow becuase the bird would die of the reek

cbeni's picture

I looked up the internet about stink fart because i taught something was wrong with me, but i encountered this website and read it and could not help laughing. I feel so good right now that I am taging this site to my "favorites" . WOW! You all know how to entertain a guyl. chiefthunderbutt your story made me laugh so hard I started crying!! Thanks people, r luv it!!!!!

Anonymous Coward's picture

Funny sight, I wonder if there is a competition? I expect I would do very well in all categories, sound, length, smell, staying power, potency, temp, etc. Why I wish everyone could be here in my covered wagon (bed) to experience this first hand!!!

El Scumbag's picture
k 500+ points

Well, there's an old English poem written by an anonymous person like yourself AC.


I'll tell you a story that's sure to please
Of a grand farting contest at Chatham-on-Tees
Where all the arses paraded in fields
To take part in contests for various shields.

Some cocked their arses to fart up the scale
While others trained on a few pints of ale
While those whose arses are biggest and strongest
Competed in contests for loudest and longest.

This fine easter morning had drawn a big crowd
And betting was even on Mrs. McLoud
It was said in the papers, the sporting edition,
That this lady's arse was in perfect condition.

Now old Mrs. Jones has a perfect backside
With a bunch of red hairs and a wart on each side
She fancied her chances of winning with ease
Having trained on a diet of cabbage and cheese.

Now old Mrs. Patricks was backed for a place
For she'd often been placed in deepest disgrace
Having farted at church and drowned out the organ
And gassed at the Preacher, poor Marmaduke Morgan.

Mrs. Bulge arrived amidst rounds of applause
And promptly proceeded to pull down her drawers
Tho' she'd no chance in the farting display
She'd the prettiest arse to be seen all that day.

The vicar arrived and ascended the stand
And proceeded to tell this remarkable band
That the contest was just as it said in the bills
And excluded the use of infections and pills.

The entrants lined up at a signal to start
And winning the toss, Mrs. Jones had first fart
The crowds were astonished in silence and wonder
As the leading lady let off like a great peal of thunder.

Came next Mrs. Patricks who advanced to the front
And started by doing a remarkable stunt
With wide parted lips and tightly clenched hands
She blew off the roof of the tombola stand.

Now Mrs. McLoud thought nothing of this
She'd had some weak tea and was all wind and piss
With hands on her hips and legs spread wide
She unluckily shat and was disqualified.

Now young Mrs. Bulge was next to appear
She turned to the crowds and they gave a great cheer
They thought she'd no chance in the contest at all
But she took the first place by out-farting them all.

With hands on hips she farted alone
And the crowd was amazed at the sweetness of tone
They agreed with the judge, who said without pause
"First prize Mrs. Bulge, now pull up your drawers!"

She advanced to the stand with a maidenly gait
And took from the vicar a lovely gold plate
Then she turned to the crowd and started to sing
While farting the first verse of "God Save the King"!

choking farter's picture

i enjoy to smell my fart -ohhhh its so good for me but so dangerous for the people around me

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Scummy....You make me think of the Hillbilly Farting Contest. A male and a female had argued over which one could produce the most powerful fart. On the day of the contest a group of concentric circles were drawn on the floor of the community meeting house and a bag of flour was poured in the very center. The contestants were to hunker down over the flour, give a mighty blast and the winner would be the one whose fart had scattered the flour furthest. The old woman was first and squatted down in the center and blew out a fart so powerful that flour was scattered 10 feet in every direction. The old man was incredulous, he rushed over, took a look at her bottom and said, "disqualified by God, she's using a double barrel."
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

Enough Gas to drive around the worl's picture

me too!!! my farts smell so bad you'd think somebody had died! My bf cant stand it! Everywhere i go somebody says, what's that awful smell?
I just giggle and run to another room or outside where i fart some more!!!

Anonymous Coward's picture

Thank you so much everyone for making me cry with laughter - glad to know I'm not alone!

Maurice's picture

I have to agree with others who have marveled at the ridiculous amounts of humor on this particular page! In all honesty, I don't think I've ever read such funny farting stories... I literally laughed out loud several times while reading this page, all the while basking in my plaque/bad-breath/sulfur smelling farts, coming out every couple of seconds! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

mc fartin's picture

I am glad to know that their are others who let out deadly farts as much as I do whenever I fart my wife tells me to stop shitting on myself my farts smell so bad they make me wanna gag one time I farted and it smelled like a can of peas so as a wise person once said beans beans beans they're good for your heart the more you eat the more you fart the more your fart the greater you'll feel so eat your beans at every meal

Anonymous Coward's picture

hey does canned artichokes work just as good as the fresh ones?

the musical fruit tooter's picture

i'm a shameless public ninja farter. once on a crowded bus i let one go where i knew no one could tag me for it... and then i waited... and watched this group of four couples try to guess who did it, eventually pinning it on one of the male members of the group. i just sat behind them, looking very innocent and prim, with tears streaming down my face. oh, and my flatulence are priceless room-clearers for sure.

i also truly revel in the occasional ninja-in-an-enclosed-space-near-a-close-friend-or-my-sister fart. i let a quiet hot one loose and just wait there, in sheer joyful anticipation, until... "OH MY GOD! THAT IS SICK. WHAT THE HELL DIED IN YOUR ASS??" and the tears of triumph roll...

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