red lump near ground zero

PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

Pickleberry asks:

Hi. My husband has a mysterious lump near his anus. It is about a centemeter to the right. It is not red, not itchy, not painful, and has no visible pus or anything of the like. It's more like a lump under the skin. I am convinced that it's just a lipoma, and that the location is purely coincidental; but he is not convinced. Is there any known condition or anal issue that causes painless, itch-less, non-red, non-irritated lump under the skin near the anus?

Thanks for you help.

Dear Pickleberry,

Lipomas are benign tumors of fatty tissue. They can be found under the skin in almost any area where there is fatty tissue, but occur on the midsection of the body or the facial area most often--not near the old poop chute. So unless your husband has his head up his ass, I doubt that he has a lipoma in that location.

I would be more inclined to believe that what you have described is a perianal cyst. This is a cyst of the anal duct or gland that is located in the skin just around the anal opening.

Anal duct cysts present most commonly in the third decade of life, and they have a higher incidence in men than in women.

Your husband should take his butt to his doctor to have this excised before it becomes infected and painful.

Thanks for asking Motherload!

Motherload is a Certified Nurse Assistant as well as an IBS sufferer, which means she knows a lot about poop. Got a question for her? Ask it here.

18 Comments on "red lump near ground zero"

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points

If it is one lump, that is ok. Ther is a lump right near the rectum. When the urge to move the bowels comes on, this lump should fold up inside of the rectum. I read about this a couple of years ago. I believe that lump works as some sort of a valve. I have this same lump. A small, red, teardrop shaped lump could be external hemorrhoids.

Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

So..... one lump good. Two lumps bad. Does this mean that the proper question from one's doctor is.......

wait for it..........

"One lump or two?"
Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

The Emir of Crapistan

the log of hazzard's picture
l 100+ points

So your husband gladly showed you a bump on his ass? I will never understand couples.

Some are born crappy, some achieve crappiness, and some have crapiness thrusted upon them. (Do NOT be the last one)

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points

*giggle, giggle, snort*
Good one, Sam.

Log of hazzard, when you're in a caring, long term, intimate relationship with someone, you will show each other any and every bit of your body if you're worried about a mysterious bump there and the other won't mind looking. It's a crazy thing called love.

Anonymous Coward's picture

Its actually the head of your twin brother that your body absorbed prior to birth. Watch out if it starts talking.

Turdle Dove's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Oh my Buddha, Anonymous! That was one of the funniest comments I've ever read on this site.

And I can't ever imagine getting so super-intimate with someone that we have an anus-examining session. Buttholes suck.

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points

Buttholes poop and fart. Very rarely have they been known to suck.

PoopReport Sucks's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Not as rare as you think, Fart Poopie. Howard Stern has extreme farters on his show all the time and they all say that they can suck air IN through their buttholes. The record is somewhere around 300 farts in five minutes, in case you were wondering.

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points

How many of them are telling the truth, and of those, what is the ratio between them and the general, non air-sucking butthole populace? You'll find the number of those that can honestly suck air with their butt is so small, that the word "rare" can be accurately applied to them.

Turdle Dove's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Fartpoopie, I appreciate your dry comments, but you don't need to take everything so literally. Suck is just a synonym for being a pain in the ass. Now THAT you can take literally.

PoopReport Sucks's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

They are all telling the truth, Fart Poopie. They can't come on the air unless they prove, on the air, that they are extreme farters. The record that I wrote about earlier was broadcast live and shown again on the E Channel. Sure, it could have been faked but I would bet a lot of money that it wasn't. Some people just have the "gift."

You are correct though, it is pretty rare to have that "gift" in the first place.

DungDaddy's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Healthy 1, Jeez! Nobody wanted to read that.

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points

Turdle Dove, my 'butts don't suck' comment was meant as a joke. I wasn't trying to be offensive in any way. :-)
The following comment wasn't meant to offend anyone either. I was just expressing my disbelief in the phenomenon.

That's one bad thing about the internet. You can't always read a comment in the same tone the author intends. I must be a horrible writer, because this happens to me a lot. Let's all calm down and feel the love.

Anonymous Coward's picture

I have a lump under my skin on side of my bum, no where near the hole i mite add. What could it be. Its about the size of a 50pence coin x

meowpoo's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

turtle dove you are so weird.and dung daddy, you are right nobody wants to read that sort of stuff. -- what smells? shit!

-- what smells? shit!

jstrick93's picture

hi i have a lump inside my anus its on the hole and im scared im 17 and i want to know what it is and if its curable

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Hello jstrick93: At 17 you may be a bit shy about letting a doctor look at your butt. Be reassured: He (or she) has seen lots of butts and knows what people are supposed to have back there. Don't be embarrassed to the point where you let a small problem grow to be a big one (and we on this site can't tell you whether what you have is big or little). Go to the doctor. Then, if you are brave enough, tell us what you find out.

lil lump's picture

ok so , i woke up this morning fine. and it wasnt until i got back to my room from school today that i realized my ass hurts like a b****., whenever i cough or sit down, and standing up even hurts to. i looked at it and theres a little bump right underneath my arsehole. im a lil worried cuz it hurts a ton. im not living at home right now, im in a completely different city for school, so i cant go talk to my parents and im new to this town also so i dont know where to go for doctors and what not. some one help me out here

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