lots of pooping, passing everything

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j 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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Randy T asks:

They call me the "POOP MAN" because I poop at least 6 to 8 times a day. I pass all kinds of foods like mushrooms, carrots, beans, lettuce, and tomatoes. Is this normal to be passing all these foods and to be going 6 to 8 times a day? I also do eat a lot of food but Im not over weight.





Dear Randy,

Thanks for the question!

I am in awe--6 to 8 times a day??? Your co-workers (assuming you work outside the bathroom) must REALLY talk about you behind your back.

Normally, I am a big fan of the type of high-fiber foods you apparently exist on. However, I think you are overdoing it just a tad.

Make the following changes:


Limit your intake of mushrooms, carrots, beans, lettuce, and tomatoes.

Chew your food better. Poo should not look like it could be re-eaten.

Stop exercising.

Drink less water.

Eat meat.

Hope this helps stop you up! Or at least gets you down to a normal once or twice daily routine!

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?












11 Comments on "lots of pooping, passing everything"

Slim Jim Junkie's picture

You should also eat more bread, I think...

poo diet's picture

it sounds to me like you should be eating more soluble fiber, you are already eating a lot of insoluble fiber.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Stop eating prop food. You can't digest it!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

pooptron's picture

If it looks recyclable, recycle it!

poopstain's picture

Fuck yeah! I am right on track w/ you. I eat healthy and exercise and poop like a mad man! ;)

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points

Wouldn't Immodium help someone not poop so much?
It almost sounds like this person leaves the bathroom before they're done, so they have to go back a little while later to get the rest out.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

It also sounds like this person has a problem with digestion. Maybe you aren't processing your food well enough, which is why you gain no weight.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Subway Tunnel for a butt's picture

I poo alot as well it freaks me out when lettuce comes out. even worse when stuff looks like it was reassembled on the way down I swear I chew everything but stuff comes out whole.. weird

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

If heads of lettuce come out whole it is no wonder your butt looks like a subway tunnel.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

Anonymous's picture

I can't believe the suggestion was to stop exercising, drink less water and eat meat. What is wrong with Poonurse? this is poor advice to give to anyone.

Better to stay on a healthy path and see a doc about thyroid, crohn's, IBS instead.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Dear Anonymous, Did you not know that this is primarily a humor site devoted to all things pertaining to poo? Did you notice that the list of foods p-nurse recommended giving up was identical to the list that were being detected in Randy T's poop? Are you familiar with either satire or irony?

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

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