masturbating-with-poop fetish

j 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

Dave (no, not that Dave) asks:

My friend has a strange fetish. He likes smearing himself in poop when he is masturbating. Is this very strange or dangerous? He doesn't eat it, only smears it over himself. He is my best friend and thought he should tell me about this weird fetish, as he calls it.

Dear Dave (no, not that Dave),

Hello, and thanks for the visual!

Let's see...Strange? Definitely. Dangerous? Probably not, as long as it is his own poop and not someone else's.

The thing that is by far weirder is the fact that he confided this in you. I had a similar question before (See Finger-lickin' Good) and there were a good variety of opinions of the subject.

Be careful when shaking hands is all I can say. And for the record, your friend might just want to discuss this fetish with a qualified professional in the mental health field, as this behavior may hinder him in the dating world. Although, maybe there are some folks who would go along with it -- the world IS a strange place, after all.

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?

151 Comments on "masturbating-with-poop fetish"

PooperGal's picture

Euw. Now, that's even more disturbed than the "finger-lickin' good" guy. I'd listen to Poonurse if I were you and advise your friend to get some mental health care.

doniker's picture
j 1000+ points

this is just the same as these scat freaks that have sex with there shit smeared on themselves....I am sure they masturbated with poo as well, before they found partners.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Yeah, I read in a psych journal about one woman who used turds as dildos. Your friend should definately see someone about this.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

pooQueen's picture

not to be gross...but they must be some pretty hard turds...

freakazoid's picture

Damn! I didn't think anything could gross me out more than poop eaters. Guess I was wrong. Your friend is one sick son of a bitch!

Brown Seymour's picture

Your 'friend'? Sure, it's your friend. Yeah, we believe you.

You poop-smearing coward, I know it's really you that has the little problem.

rex's picture

i have a friend that loves the taste of human feces and i think has been eating it on and off since childhood is this dangerous and is there medicine available to kill off infection if she has been eating it?

Jax's picture

Holy shit. Thats fucking grooooss

The Truth's picture

You all call this guy gross, yet you are all on a site dedicated to poop...and don't act like you have scoured the net for at least one video or picture showing some man or woman taking a gross as it may sound, not one of you have immediatly turned off the comp and ran out of the room at the site of some gaping butthole pushing out excretement....i can tell just by reading some of these entries that many of you aren't being real with yourselves....whether its his friend or not, it doesnt matter...guys, u know we have all had our episodes where we have done somethin really gross with a girl, that may be on that shitty path...stuck a finger in the butt and sniffed it....hope and wish that a girl would fart....sniff underwear, not to say that we have all done all of those things, but things of that nature...and many of you have squeezed one out while gettin it from behind, or masturbated just cuz you got horny from sitting on the toilet...again....not all of you have or will done something of this nature, but you all have your dirty little let he who has not pooped and enjoyed it cast the first turd

....'s picture

all that i can say is...this is a crappy matter...

shocked's picture

I am shocked at "poonurse's" judgmental comments and ignorance.

??????withheld's picture

I'd like more info on the whole poop fetish and where I can go to get a good fix on it all...

poops alot's picture

you know, i have a foot fetish and i thought i was weird, but after i read that , mine isnt that bad, lol i mean who the fuck smears poop on themself and masterbates, thats just fucking wrong, lol.

Shit happens's picture

I bet the most out raged are hiding some nasty little secret of their own.

Bean Shit's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Tell me he takes showers after?

Shit for mercy.

Shit for mercy.

Your poopiness's picture

After reading about all this crap I have to go hehehe. I thought it only happened with rushing water.

toilet muck's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

when i was little, during my dumps i would smear feces on a wooden chair (yes i wiped it off). i didnt tell anyone and i grew out of it. but i wasnt crazy and i didnt eat it ore anything. try denial when your parents find shit everywhere.

Anonymous Coward's picture

Old School lube woohooooooooo
nothin beats that
god gave ya two hands too :D
i make full use, lol

smearing ur self in human crap ...
its fine with me ...
aslong as u dont come near me at all :)

dr poo brains's picture

shit masturbatio is fine but i think cleanin it suks!!

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Toilet muck, little kids do strange things. They either grow out of it or someone tells them to stop. When someone gets to be any older than about four this is a psychological problem.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Anonymous Coward's picture

i did a fart once and a small poo came out, now i fart in a bag if im out clubbing

what?'s picture

Even though I find this extremely weird, strange and disgusting, we have to consider that humans are animals after all. And it is not uncommon for animals to do this sort of thing. Maybe they wouldn't masturbate with the stuff, but monkeys play with it, cats and dogs will roll in it after it has decayed mostly. Etc, etc.. Maybe these people just have some irresistible urge that they can't explain, much like an animal.

Winnie the Poo's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

An old girlfriend's little brother used to ... hmmm... "camouflage" his bike after going to the toilet. Why he did that I'll never know. His parents beat the crap (literally) out of him, and he never did it again.

Getting off with your own poo, is even stranger. But knowing that secret and still being his friend sound freakish to me. That guy should be in restraints, under strong medication at the coo coos house.

poomaster2000's picture

once, and i dont know if this is right or wrong, but i once had sex with a ginger

Anonymous Poopers's picture

dude, gingers?!... thats messed up. :/

Anonymous Coward's picture

Wow i find all of your coments are as funny as how discusting this is.

anti poo's picture

WTF..I never new poo fetishes really existed until the story my friend told me last night about mutual friends of ours... just trying to understand how poo couls be sexually exciting????

shitbrick's picture

well if this whole shitting matter relates to us all being the animals we are i think it explains it's self because i saw a dog a few days ago shitting on another dogs head so i dont know what the fuck to think.
and the other dog dident even realise i must have been warm like having a duvet wrapped round you thats been sitting by the fire??
you would know if something was going..(dripping) down your face am i right??

Daily Constitutional's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Um, is poomaster talking about figging, or is there some other, grosser "sex with a ginger" out there?

Double Flush's picture
k 500+ points

I don't see anything really wrong with this fetish so long as you clean up after. I try to keep an open mind. Then again, keep an open mind and people will throw shit in it.

Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

[Insert witty banter here]

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

Could someone moderate this thread, please?

Phillip DeCrapper's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I just found this thread, and I have to say that it is disgusting. I'm with GGG, and would assk someone to moderate.

Logjam's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Certainly in these days, such posts would not be tolerated by moderators (certainly not this one). But these got posted eons before the current system was in place, and it is my understanding that they've been grandfathered in. I'd like to leave them in so we can travel back to the wild west and get a taste of life like it used to be.


the log of hazzard's picture
l 100+ points

Yeah, this thread needs moderation.

As for the masturpooper, I can't understand why he likes to spread himself in himan waste, but he has all the right in the world to dom that so...bye.

Some are born crappy, some achieve crappiness, and some have crapiness thrusted upon them. (Do NOT be the last one)

electric wizard's picture

Glad to see I'm not the only one haha
It's exciting for me, don't mind if you think i'm crazy ok :)

HEH!'s picture

Wow, and I thought the foot fetish I had was strange...

Catwoman and Gary's picture

We feel that this is not that weird, and he should be allowed to use whatever he wants to get off with.
We persoanlly ejoy watching porn with such odd things in like poo fetishes and of course a good golden shower every now and again.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

A "good" golden shower? What's a "bad" one? Having a shower party the day after you've eaten a pound of asparagus?

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

Yeah, asparagus pee would be in a special booth at the Fetish Fair.

And are Catwoman and Gary in fact two different people, or are they two people in the same head, speaking collectively?

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

I wonder if this comes from some sort of childhood potty training problems. Perhaps he wore diapers for a long time, and got used to having poop on his body.
Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

The Emir of Crapistan

Anomalous Coward's picture
k 500+ points

Toto, something tells me we're not in Kansas anymore... Shit is amusing and all that, but I for one think this is waaaaaay too much information. Daph and GGG - too funny!

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points

I'm sorry but I think smearing poop all over one's self is just plain nasty.

As a young child it is one thing (still nasty, but I can go along with it). It sound like this dude does need some professional help, this is not normal. Then again, it seems to be a pretty common fetish.

Please tell me that he takes a good long shower, with the industrial sized bar of soap, after he is done smearing.
Born to clog your bog, with a giant log.

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Please, everyone. Let's all give Daphne a big plue one for her above comment!

I was a category five! Category five, I tell you! Get it right or I'll be back to PROVE IT!!!!- Katrina

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Jack Renshaw's picture

Man, I love this site!!

Anonymous Coward's picture

i had wonderd if poo fetitshes actually existed...and then i found this there are some sick motherfuckers here. i dont like to imagine girls shitting its a turn off. and may i just say to that guy who wanks with shit, you are one messed up fucker. you belong in a psyche ward under lock and key.

DRIP_DOWN_YO_LEG's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

ur friend needs help u need to help him and if its u and ur saying its a friend then you need help man not in a negative way you just need to find someone to help you man help
i have met many people that talk like asses but i have not met many asses that talk like people

i have met many people that talk like asses but i have not met many asses that talk like people

Hamster's picture
k 500+ points

I think there is a degree of over-reaction on this one. The people who need psychiatric help or who should be under lock and key are rapists, paedophiles, terrorists, and those who commit senseless crimes of violence and vandalism. As I understand it, those who have poop fetishes indulge either alone, or with like-minded partners. Therefore harm no-one. Personally, I'm not into anything to do with masochism, for example, but many are, and what they do behind closed doors is their business. Let's get a bit more perspective and less holier-than-thou.

Timmyboy's picture

Since I can remember, I have always liked the feel of poop ON my behind. When I was a toddler and still in diapers and plastic pants, I would intentionally sit down and squish the poop in my diapers. I would squeeze it between my legs and smear it all over my privates, and then masturbate in my wet,dirty diapers. Never understood why but have accepted it as my fetish.

The Thunderous Crapper 63's picture
k 500+ points

You masturbated in wet dirty diapers? So you KNEW what masturbation was as a toddler? I didnt know what that was til I was twelve! Never did it with poo though. Remember everyone be careful who you shake hands with!
The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!


Miss Simone Scat's picture
k 500+ points

The Thunderous, This will give me something to think about the next time i shake someone's hand.
Hi, Mr.BLACK...nice to meet you
(brain: wonder IF he does it?)
Yes, I did see your last movie
(brain: does he? The movie sucked)
No thank you ...I have a cocktail.
(brain: no way is HE getting me a drink...he looks like he does do IT.)
Producing waste since 1967

Producing waste since 1967

Post new comment

  • Allowed HTML tags: s:62:"<em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <br>";
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.

More information about formatting options

This question is for testing whether you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.
Enter the characters shown in the image.
To prevent automated spam submissions leave this field empty.