itchy ass crack

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Shecky asks:

For the last two months, my ass has been itching like crazy. I eat a lot of fiber in the form of Metamucil and whole wheat bread, so my turds are generally of a good consistency. I don't have hemmorhoids, and I would like to think that I don't have a parasite, but my ass still itches. It's not the o-ring that itches, but rather the area around it. It's almost like I have jock itch of the ass -- is that possible? I exercise a good bit, so it does get sweaty down there. Please help me, Poonurse!

Dear Schecky,

First, you know that I am going to tell you to get it checked out by a competent medical professional, right? It could be just an irritation, or it could be something as disgusting as pinworms or something. So see a doctor.

You COULD briefly try washing with a mild soap such as Ivory, letting the area dry well, wearing loose cotton underpants, not using premoistened wipes, and applying 1% hydrocortisone cream SPARINGLY to the itchy area twice a day. If these suggestions don't help within ten days or so, show your itching ass to a doctor.

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?

1001 Comments on "itchy ass crack"

dawgg's picture

Ok-ok have that itchy ass ...(this is where everyone says hi itchy ass )
well at night whew,...ass really does I wipe well with alcohol and then powder dry that but I,m sure this cant be a long term solution....Now as a man you know I,m not seeing no doctor and bending over...not happening...
guys just dont show ass like to anyone.and can someone tell me why when I rub my ass with alcohol that burning feeling feel so damm good??? I swear I got a hard on a few times?
I know -I know.telling it like it is -sort of freky uh? might have to find me a female ass itcher?

Anonymous Coward's picture

hi everyone with an itchy butt,
everyone get checked for not only pinworms but also tapeworm (beef,pork), fish worm etc there are quite a few. on one website it stated that 50%of Americans have them and don't even know, they can cause so many symptoms from eczema to asthma, most doctors haven't read all of the recent research, so don't have a clue...

cornholieo's picture


cornholieo's picture

cornholieo here again still with a itchy cornhole i read some comments and i didn't think so many people has itchy cornholes,
i am feelin your itch i tried a few things but alot of people is saying use alachol what are you !@#%ing nuts i rather put a torch to my bung hole ( ! )

Anonymous Coward's picture

Best thing for hemmorhoids is soak in a warm bath and use witch hazel. It's not as harsh as alcohol. Witch hazel will shrink them in a couple of days.

london england guy's picture

damn i dont beleave it im finally cured, yeee haaa as they would say in texas, its been 6 months and my arse has not stopped itching, so many sleepless nights so much money spent so many creams and so much problems.

i tried athletes foot powder, vodka, athletes foot cream, anusol cream and pellets, baby oil, trimovate, raw garlic, mouthwash, vinegar, hydrocotzone, pure natural soap and lots of other stuff that didnt work or if it did work it was only for 1 day.

6 months ago i started exercising and went on diet and to date ive lost 47 kilos and finally worked out my itching is caused by exercise bike, i stopped riding bike 5 days ago and started washing my arse with aquros soap then drying arse and the applying that stuff witchy woman recommended (long name) and its worked 5 days and nights and not a bitch itch in site, im sooooooo happppppppppy!!!!!!!!

simon2's picture

Clotrimazole and Betamethasone Dipropionate Lotion is a steriod. How can pro longed use of steriods be any good for you?

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Worked for Barry Bonds, simon2.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Trish Stevens's picture

Hello ALL,

Two weeks ago I found this website offering a natural remedy. I ordered it, used it and I became itch free within a couple of days. I could not believe it. I have been suffering from this for all these years, and the cure was out there!

Happier Holidays!


WHere did that itch come from's picture

I found a good thing that works and does'nt burn. cortizone 10 plus.

london england guy's picture

hi all its now been 7 days since i stopped using any creams and my arse is 100% itch free, i now know 100% it was exercise bike that did me in, but i have new problem, now my privates are itching like theres no tommorow damn gimme a cure pleeeeeeease!!!!!!!!

Itchin' for a Cure's picture

NO ONE should have to itch forever. When I went to the doctor and told him about my itch, he asked when it had gone on for 4 years with no mention. He prescribed a cream and within 2 days - NO MORE ITCH! He's my gyno but he's a hero to me! It cost me like $1 with insurance.

It's called
- I called it a butt itch miracle cure! Good luck to all! At least we have a GREAT sense of humor!

Ana's picture

You can poop as much as you like. As long as you use my 100% Natural remedy, you would not get anal itching. I GURANTEE IT.

Details on the website:

From one pooper to another!

Anonymous Coward's picture

I'll buy and try AnaNOitch. But if it doesn't work I will let people on here know, ok?


wet red rash ass's picture

please rash is oval shaped between the cheeks......and oooozes clear liquid after washing..I scrub the shit out of pun intended, cause it feels good.......I have read all about all the so-called cures........someone please tell me about the clear weeping fluid....please.

Anonymous Coward's picture

i have pimples on my ass what is that about and its really itchy what can i do about it??

Fyrfighter's picture

I tell people that I constantly lose sleep because of some asshole bothering own!. Although there are many causes of an itchy ass, one of the most common is anal fissure and pruitus ani; the two go hand in hand many times. The problem with fissures is that they have a hard time healing because every time you poop, it re-injures the area as is evidenced by a small amount of blood. Although I haven't seen a doc, I'm pretty sure I'm right with the diagnosis; this seems to be a very common problem as you can see from the many posts. I am still working on a "natural" solution since I do agree that prescription meds can cause more problems than solutions. The stuff I've tried so far have only provided temporary relief, but temporary relief of this god-awful itching is better than nothing. Here is my list:

Neo-Healer: gives temp. relief of itching:it's suppose to help heal fissures. It has given decent relief of itching but has not provided a long term cure. I do recommend it.

Ana-no itch: Have been using it for a couple of weeks but it seems to be inconsistent in relieving the itching. I'm still using it and will report back.

Tenactin creme: this is an anti-fungal cream; tried it very briefly but it seemed to increase itching.

Capzasin-P creme: This is an arthritis creme that contains capsaicin. You have to use a tiny amount because it burns like a mother, but it has been the only relief at times during the nigh when itching tends to keep you awake. Use it carefully; it'll burn like hell, but it eventually stops the itch.

Celadrin Soothing creme by Natural Factors: I bought this at a health food store and it seems to provide decent, temporary itch relief. It's also natural and is suppose to help heal. The ingredients include a few that people have recommended, such as Aloe vera, grape seed oil, Jojoba oil, peppermint oil, tea tree oil. I just started using this stuff and will report back.

Rue oil: didn't get rid of the itch so I stopped using it.

Gold bond powder: kept me drier, but no relief from itch.

Wheat germ oil: didn't relieve the itching.

Apple cider vinegar: have been drinking periodically, but I haven't noticed a huge difference. I will try to be more consistent and will report back.

I am going to give the Penaten creme a try and will report back. I am also waiting for a mix of Jojoba oil and Tea tree oil from Dr. Shulze; I use some of his supplements. Lastly, you should avoid scratching your ass as much as possible since this will only lead to more itching. Wipe very gently after you poop and use a moist wipe to clean the area, ( although I'm wondering if some of these wipes can aggravate the itching). Use the hypoallergenic type. If you have the luxury and time to wash your ass in the bath after you poop, it seems to be the best way to clean it and help with the itching. Pat dry the area gently or use a hair dryer. I'm confident that I'll find a solution without going to the doctor and I will report back with my findings; there has to be a "natural" solution out there. Any ointment you use should be in small amounts because you want to keep the area as "dry" as possible; moisture increases the itching. Diet is also very important as some have found that their problem was caused or aggravated by certain foods, such as nuts. Everyone is different so you'll have to check your own diet. Lots of water, and a diet that promotes regularity and soft stools is the best. The guy from "Ana-no itch" also recommended that I stop using Metamucil since he claims that it increases the itch. I have stopped using it for a few days and have substituted with a couple of apples a day; we'll see if it helps. I hope this information helps. In the meantime, make sure you wash your hands after you scratch.

TangierKid's picture

I had the dreaded itch for more than a year, trying out several remedies in the process. What finally seemed to work for me was reduced stress, washing out my asshole by directing the shower on it and inserting finger one inch inside(with water only; don't use soap and make sure the water is warm) and at the time zinc cream (a little bit).
Step 1. Shit Step 2. Shower 3. Pat dry 4. Zinc Cream. After a week or so you can stop using cream and just keep up the anus hole finger shower. If your ass is a bit red raw, try a good foot fungus spray to kill the fungus and dry it out. Then go back to the shower, dry and cream ritual; and then just ass shower after every shit. I am now cured it seems and haven't itched for six months now. These days I just make sure that I wash my ass out every time and if I cannot wash in a public place, then I just add a little water to toilet paper to clean out properly. Wouldn't advice on alcohol or any steroid creams as they will thin out skin and make worse. Would advice once or twice a week to chop up a clove of garlic and add it to a glass of water and drink it in one shot; this will heal your intestines. Also if you can avoid toilet paper, do so. When possible just shower and pat dry with soft towel; rubbing with toilet paper will only irritate the skin. Also don't where clothing that is going to make you to warm as this will heat up your ass and will guarantee to irritate the area. Don't sit down for too long either.

Fyrfighter's picture

Quick update: The Celadrin Soothing Creme by Natural Factors is actually proving to be a really good ointment to quiet the terrible itching; it also seems to provide some long lasting relief so I would encourage you guys to try it. It also contains ingredients which are suppose to be designed to heal the area. I also looked for the Penaten creme, (contains zinc oxide), but I found and bought the Boudreaux's Butt Paste instead, (it also contains zinc oxide). I've only applied the Zinc Oxide creme twice; it seemed to help, but still too early to tell. I've also continued to stay away from Metamucil and substitute with natural fiber sources such as apples, irish oatmeal, etc. It seems like when I do poop, it's not as itchy. I'll continue to report on my progress. I bought the Celadrin Soothing creme at Mothers Market, (health food store), and the Butt Paste at the local drug store. If anyone gives these a try, please post your results; I'm curious and It may help others. Remember to resist scratching your asses as much as possible because this will only irritate the area and lead to more itching. Don't get me wrong; there are times where I want to drag my butt on the grass like a dog to relieve the itching so I can relate. Let's make it a New Years resolution to start off 2008 with itch-free asses....I'll drink to that.

Anonymous Coward's picture

my itch is gone but when ever it itched i resisted scratching it, what i would do is rub the itchy area coz the cream makes it slippery and that rubbing use to soothe it, try rubbing rather than scratching

Anonymous Coward's picture

dear hearts, suffer no longer. you are going to love this, so easy, a solution, natural, doesn't hurt......does tingle, worth the few seconds waiting to see how much it helps. Ready? Any itching down there---get some Tea Tree Oil and dab it on. Bless your hearts.

Fyrfighter's picture

I'm continuing to use the Celadrin Soothing Creme, which provides really good relief from the itching and the Boudreauxs Butt Paste, (contains zinc oxide). I am getting good relief from using both of these products, but the goal is to cure the problem, not just relieve the symptoms. I'm hoping that continued use of these two products will heal the area. Another product which had given good temporary relief of the itching was the "Neo-healer" creme; it is similar to the Celadrin creme. I will also give the tea tree oil/ jojoba oil ointment a try, ( I got it from Dr. Shulze's website), and will report back on its effectiveness. I think I'm still wiping too hard, even with the wipes, and this is aggravating the problem, so I'll have to ease up...but when you itch, you friggin want to scratch! Any ideas are greatly appreciated.

Anonymous Coward's picture

just bought and put on the tee tree oil and i swear to god my balls have stopped itching for the 1st time in weeks, thanks to the fellow anonymous coward above who recommended it, im 24 hours with not so much as a twitch or itch it works thanks

doing some research's picture

I spent over an hour reading your comments on this topic, and although they are entertaining you are not getting the point. Although your stories are funny to read, I know you are all suffering terribly. THIS IS AN INTERNAL YEAST INFECTION THAT IS MANIFESTING IN AN EXTERNAL ITCH. It is time you change your diet to support the good bacteria in your body and get rid of the bad bacteria that is infesting your insides. Do some research on APPLE CIDER VINEGAR and you will see that it creates an ascidic environment which supports the good bacteria and fights off the bad. It has been known for years to work as a home remidy for many ailments when taken internally or used topically. The Apple Cider Vinegar needs to be raw and unfiltered to achieve best and fastest results. I think that many people don't understand that a yeast infection can occure in other areas of the body other than a woman's vagina. This can also help cure other skin fungus infections such as impentigo (sp?) and ring worm. I sure hope you guys try this and post whether it works or not.

doing some research's picture

Also research zinc oxide, it is highly acidic. Research tea tree oil, etc. All of these things are highly acidic which supports the growth of good, fights the bad canandia (sp?) bacteria in your body that is giving you this yeast infection.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

It's spelled candida. Thanks for the info. Maybe, too, it would help to just buy good old Mycelex cream for the external itching as well.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

Anonymous Coward's picture

I tried tea tree oil undiluted and it didn't work. but if others are saying give it ago i'll try again.

itchy while fucking's picture

everytime i fuck a guy my ass itches so bad and these little red bumps get on my butt and on my vagina and it itches so bad. i know its not the guy im fucking because ive fucked different guys but everytime i fuck someone it itches and i cant help but itch it while we r fucking.when he spanksmy ass he says he felt something bumpy and i dont wanna go to the doctor butt how can i stop this!

Anonymous Coward's picture

it seems u shag lots of guys so i assume u use condoms, maybe u have an allergy to condoms, if u dont use condoms id run to a specilist and get checked over for an std, but hey im no expert

Anonymous Coward's picture

We need to find a good cure cuz our asses arent gettin any better. Fucking itch, it feels so good but its so bad after. any1 get flaky skin around anus and under the balls?

Hating the ITCH's picture

does any1 know if spraying the itch part with the new liquid type bandage work?

CLEAR ASS's picture


CLEAR ASS's picture


Annanymous Cowtard's picture

I've been fighting this for years. It seems to get worse at night. Dudes, things live in/on humans! Candida is yeast that normally resides in the body and digestive tract. Overgrowth of Candida is responsible in symptoms such as fatigue, headache, mood swings, sinus congestion, depression, poor memory and concentration, weight gain and cravings for sweets. More than 80% of Americans have an excess of this yeast. So cut back on sugar and carbs. Try to eat foods such as meat, chicken, turkey, shellfish, non-starchy vegetables; those should fill you up without making a stink. Take the spit test.

Had Ringworm or Jock Itch? This stuff finds away to live. For most people it starts at the feet. You might feel a burning between the toes. Later it starts to hurt so you put on some creams (Lamisil). Then you stub your toe walking about at night, twice! Toenail turns black and falls off. That cream works well for a while but now your inner thigh is Itchy! Oh No! Jock Itch! It can travel from the foot to the jock while putting on your under pants. Hopefully you cure that one fast unlike me, emergency doctor trip with, “jock itch gone wild”. But wouldn’t you know it my nail didn’t grow back right, yes infected. My nail is now almost 99% cured. I tried every snake oil you could think of with no results after 3 years. What worked was Apple Cider Vinegar. Twice a day is all you need, few drops on the infected nails morning and night. The same ACV did nothing in the summer months, very interesting because it’s a plant, but then as the change to fall happened it was like magic to see the nail turning pink again. Alcohol might also work like ACV in the PH factor.

So reduce the sugar and heavy carbs. Try using some Lamisil around and up the hole for a week and see if that helps. Add a small amount of ACV to your drink (1 tsp). Oregano oil pills can help but cost $$$. And see your Doctor, I know it’s embarrassing, but it’s your ass.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Annanymous Cowtard wrote: "And see your Doctor, I know it’s embarrassing, but it’s your ass."

Probably the most profound statement on the entire site. Well done, sir/madam!

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

thunder from under's picture

My ass itches like a mofo. Mostly at night. I find that baby powder applied directly in the crack solves it. I also eat a lot of peanuts so when I drop a deuce it comes out rough and scratches where I can't reach.

embarassed.....'s picture

my ahole itches like a bastard... it seems to have spread to my vagina. HELP! Does anyone have any suggestions about home remedies? I want to go to a doctor as a last resort...

mr.World's picture

I did Candida Yeast test (4 posts higher is the link) and i have it!! :(

Terrible! I will not eat candy for a month and will report later what will happen.

sexbunny's picture

Try wiping your bum properly & wash it more with mild soap!

stupidkid's picture

Ok my ass crack is more painfull than it itches. Iv noticed that the area around the auns is what is iritated not the corn hole its self. it started to bother me enough i could not walk properly and i started to see dots of blood when i patted the area with bath i went to a doctor. they diagnosed me with an anal fissure.. so i did some research online and an anal fissure is a cut i don't have a cut.. so i put neosporn with paint relief on it it seems to make it mostly go away except for the fact i am walking around with a gel in my ass witch is more comfortable than the pain. anyways its been about 2 to 3 months since this started. Now at the base of my spine and just in my ass crack it looks like really bad athleats foot like where the skin is peeling and dry. well if i wipe up towards it at all its burns bad and starts bleeding so i have to resort to holding stuff in until i can shower or can apply neosporn. i am not sure what to do if the doctors are only going to misdiagnose my problem. after reading some post it seems i am not the only one who has been misdiagnosed. so it seems like its something that doctors are not sure what it is and are only giving advice not facts.

mr.stinky finger's picture

I too,get this horrible rash around the rectum. usually after sweating, farting a lot, pooping. Had a fissure once and surgery to fix....what a pain in the ass!!

I've used anti fungal creme on my bung, and between my balls and legs. (Canesten). worked good, and in a few days of treatment, was gone.

Jon Belos's picture

You know stupidkid, i feel the same way you do every morning. I found a solution to the agonizing pain i so crudely seem to experience each and ever time i shit. Pain killers, yes oz. of pain killers. by needle i must inject to the problem area. This might sound hash to others but in my eyes its the only sign of releif. soft gel doesnt cut the poop in half, yes only numbing meds work. Not everyone can be as lucky as i am.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Sticking a needle in the o ring!!! Putting rusty fish hooks in my eye balls has slipped to number 2.

itchy starfish's picture

I get an itchy ring piece occasionaly, and usually when it is itchy, it actually has poo on de but hole. so I take a poo, I wipe me bum and 20 minutes later it is slighty pooey again, not that bad, but bad enough that it takes another few wipes. I did mention this to my doctor and he just laughed and said not to worry, but he is old, deaf and blind and about to retire. So I was wondering if there is any advice anyone can offer, don't like the sound of the worms....

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

My advise is, next time you see your old, deaf, dumb, blind doctor, is to drop trouser and sit on his face, then ask him if he still thinks its funny.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Pinestraw Butt's picture

I sufferred from itchy butt crack for 14 years off and on. I went to a new doctor and said i had yeast infection of the ass. He prescribed nystatin and triamcinolone acetonide cream and the itching stopped on DAY ONE and hasn't been back. He also said i needed to use gold bond to follow up with to keep it from coming back.

Anonymous Coward's picture

I have had a itchy ass for a couple years now. Seen a few doctors and they always give cortozone cream. Its not working..I am going to try a few of the above mentioned ideas..Hopefully I can bring the ass scratching to a end! Winter is not so bad but summer with the humidity kills me..ts..
Also getting a skin biopsy done.. Anyone got one of those done??

Firearse Freddie's picture

Ah! what a great site; I feel I'm part of a big itchy-bummed family now! I've been battling with nettle-ring for about 10 years now, almost every day. it seems brothers and sisters, that we all have identical problems.
I belive the problems to be diet related; foods like sugar, coffee, tea, alcohol, salt etc, coupled with our couch-potato lifestyles. I've tried all sorts of remedies with limited results, aloe gel, various bum creams, vaseline, hypercal, urtical, witch hazel...Damn! nothing gets to the root of the problem. One piece of advice i do have is to learn to clean your arse with a bottle of water rather than bog-roll, it's only wierd the first time, after that you'll never look back (don't forget that paper-wipers are a minority on this planet). When the itching gets bad take a bottle of cold water to your crack rather than scratching it, the cold acts as anasthetic and keeps it all clean to boot. Bum creams i've heard do in fact thin the skin of the rectum and frankly i think a 'natural' remedy is preferable. I'm off to the shops now to buy some nystatin and teatree oil. i'll let y'all know how it goes. One more bit of advice, i've found that regular 'anus-clenching' exercises can help; keeps the blood flowing and improves the overall strenth of the area, these excercises also have myriad other beneficial effects on the system, spiritual as well as physical. God bless you all. keep up the fight.x

Anonymous Coward's picture

Long time scratcher, first time poster. About 3 years for me. Ill try some of these techniques and get back to you.

A Nonny Mouse's picture

Once again, with feeling people: WE ALL HAVE CANDIDA!!!

Stop asking what/why/how to stop it and STOP EATING SUGAR FFS!!!

I'm currently taking a homeopathic remedy with Candida albicans which is doing WONDERS. My candida spread to become itchy and sore nipples. But by changing my diet and taking the homeopathic remedy, as well as using zinc cream, I can totally control/eliminate the itching.

I personally also have problems with venous drainage from the waist down, so sometimes I will take a herbal remedy to help with venous insufficiency, but I also see my chiro for adjustments through my hips to allow the blood to flow, as well as regular Bowtech Bowen treatments to keep myself aligned and in balance.

And for the love of all that is holy - keep the freakin' steroids AWAY from your rear end, your front end, your top side and lower decks. That shit's bad news.

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