itchy ass crack

j 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

Shecky asks:

For the last two months, my ass has been itching like crazy. I eat a lot of fiber in the form of Metamucil and whole wheat bread, so my turds are generally of a good consistency. I don't have hemmorhoids, and I would like to think that I don't have a parasite, but my ass still itches. It's not the o-ring that itches, but rather the area around it. It's almost like I have jock itch of the ass -- is that possible? I exercise a good bit, so it does get sweaty down there. Please help me, Poonurse!

Dear Schecky,

First, you know that I am going to tell you to get it checked out by a competent medical professional, right? It could be just an irritation, or it could be something as disgusting as pinworms or something. So see a doctor.

You COULD briefly try washing with a mild soap such as Ivory, letting the area dry well, wearing loose cotton underpants, not using premoistened wipes, and applying 1% hydrocortisone cream SPARINGLY to the itchy area twice a day. If these suggestions don't help within ten days or so, show your itching ass to a doctor.

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?

1001 Comments on "itchy ass crack"

Anonymous Coward's picture

Hi its me the coffee drinker (former) I read that coffee beans have a oil in them that can be an irratant. I wanted to share what I found over the counter that really helped (not cure) the itching for me. 1. PREPARATION H COOLING GEL it has vitamin E and Aloe, great for raw skin. Doesnt do much to stop the itch, just help with the healing. 2. CORTICOOL gel it has hydrortisone in it and goes on feeling warm and almost instantly stops the itching. For awhile anyway. The only place I found it was at Walgreens. This is such a embarrassing & painful problem that I thought if I ever could help someone else with it I would. What worked for me may not work for you but I hope it does!Good Luck

Anonymous Coward's picture

CORTICOOL gel it has hydrortisone in

Trouble is it's a steriod that after prolonged use will do more harm than good.

Asked my dermo if alchohol had and long term side effects on an itch but he wouldn't answer.

Has anyone heard of kukui nut oil? Heard on the grapevine that it's supposed to be good for itching.

Anonymous Coward's picture

Right...I had the same problem. When I walked for a while it felt like my ass-crack was being torn apart.All you have to do is make sure ure ass-crack isnt sweaty and then apply sudocrem(You can get this from any Boots store or pharmasy) to each part of ure ass-cheak where it hurts. The cream doesn't rub in to well so it might be an idea to do this an hour before you go out and before you go to bed. It doesn't take long and 2 days of useage will last for about 4-5 weeks.

Anonymous Coward's picture

Deodorants kill bacteria with alcohol (anti persperants are different). Try using a deodorant instead of raw alcohol. If the perfumes dont give you skin problems under your arms your not sensitive to them, at least yer bum will smell nice.

the brown bomber's picture

havent tried the listerine treatment, but aparently the stuff started out as an antiseptic for use on the operating table. from there it was marketed as a floor cleaner, as a treatment for gonorrhea, and only later for treating bad breath. so it sorta makes sence that it mite fix your bum as well. i tried the rubbing alcohol thing, and it wasnt quite as bad as i had prepared myself for. it does seem to make a difference, but dont use it every day like i did, or youll dry out the whole(hole?) area and cause a whole new kinda itch...

DropADeuce's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

After reading about many of the unsuccessful remedies, I have to wonder if W-itchy Woman isn't onto something about the cause being fungal. Fungus is always on a person's body. It is usually kept down by your "good" bacteria. When your immune system is crappy, the fungus (and other bad stuff) grows out of control. Some of you suffering from "itchy asses" may need anti-fungals and to boost your immune systems. Ask your Dr.'s about it.

Mr. Happy Crack's picture

I found the cure (Penatin)...but first my story...

Over the last 20 yrs I've seen it all, creams, gels, pills, cauterization , blood on my finger nails, severe spine pain due to awkward itching positions you name it! The cure is baby oil and baby cream.. my condition was diagnosed as "pruritus ani"...Polysporin & Makeoff cotton pads helped to relieve skin breaks such as anal fissures... read on :)

1989 I was 16 yrs old is when I started feeling itchy which is also the year I started long distance cycling
1993 - 2002 stopped cycling while in college/university but itch remained usually morning and night - during this time I tried hemeroid creams, aloa hand creams
2001 Dr referred me to dermatologist
October 2001 Dr. prescribed TUCs medicated pads, Prevex B, and Oilatum bath oil which gave no improvement
April 9 2003 Dr. referred me to proctologist
April 11 - March 24, 2003 saw Dr. for 2-3 times per week.
- custom Cortizone cream/cotton/coagulator/diet, clothing, linens changed
- saw itch disappear then came back 2-4 months later
November 2003 symptoms worse than ever and noticing throbing pain in lower pelvic area... also having trouble sleeping and noticed scratching in sleep
March 2004 switched GPs from Dr. to Dr. as we moved
April 1, 2004 referral to new dermatologist who put me on Elidel
June 1, 2004 saw Dr. on referral from Dr. regarding sharp pains - endoscopic review was negative
Oct, 2004 Dr. switched me to Eumovate cream
Feb 21, 2005 Dr. put me on APO-HYDROXYZINE
March 21, 2005 Dr. put me on apo-doxepin
April 18, 2005 Dr. put me on Prevex HC
July 1, 2005 tried using Goldbond powder to try to dry the area but it just makes for a mess
Sept 23, 2005 Dr. put me on APO- AMITRIPTYLINE 25mg (small yellow pill) and PMS-DESONIDE CRM 0.05% (after each bowl movement and shower)
Oct 2, 2005 I've had no itch and am sleeping very well
June 2006 Itch is back but cream keeps it in reasonable control...sitting for long period causes problems
July 2006 noticed that regular Prevex seems to be effective after bowel movements and when itchy...gonna try this for a while
August 16 2007 after having a baby join our family we had Penatin ( around and J&J baby oil ( starting using both after showers, baths, poos, when itchy... what a difference! I'm a cured man! The baby oil also works great for jock itch!

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points

Dumpster + pepper = Itchy butt crack.

Anonymous Coward's picture

Sorry dumpster are you trying to tell us something?

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

Yes, it means I have to return the gift I got for him.

Damned shipping and handling isn't refundable, either.

mr. World's picture

From my experience and this topic i concluded that itching crack is:
- mostly psychological (Freud style!)
- mostly affects men (heterosexuals!)
- worst at night

It may be caused by sitting too much too. Cleaning helps on short run as do creams and oils massages (Mr. Happy Crack - is it any better now?). It usually all comes back after a while.

So my advice is keep it clean, but don't clean it more than twice a day with water and gentle towel. And simply don't think about it! :)

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

What is your experience?

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

mr. World's picture

Hum, let me ask you a question. Is the itching there during or after sex / masturbation?

If the answer is no, then it is confirmed that issue is psychologically / stress related!

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

That means nothing. Orgasms release endomorphins into our body and give a high. This would provide temporary relief to any type of discomfort, but no cure.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

Bunga Din's picture
j 1000+ points

Endomorphins eh? And to think I've been calling that white stuff spoooge.

Anonymous Coward's picture

mr. World (not verified) -- 09.21.2007
Hum, let me ask you a question. Is the itching there during or after sex / masturbation?

If the answer is no, then it is confirmed that issue is psychologically / stress related!


How is it confirmed?

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

I don't know, Anonymous, because he still has yet to tell us anything about what his experience is or what credentials he has as a certified butt-expert.

He must be a genius; because he alone has figured out why all the posters here are in such pain and misery, he above all the doctors who have been quoted.

It's hard to say. Maybe he's a god, a genie, a djinn from the outer worlds and he has delved into the depths of alchemy and magic to find that it's all in our minds. We make our butts bleed and crack simply by stressing about it.

Well, then, shit. I'm going to worry about my bank account. That should be good for a few hundred bucks by nightfall, and by morning, I'll be Bill Gates.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

Frank2401's picture
l 100+ points

I'm tired of this thread too, GGG. After the hundreds of posts, remedy suggestions...
No one seems to read them. Time for them to just try a blowtorch.

mr. World's picture

LOL daphne, you are funny! :) I am not God as you know, i just took a wild guess what could be the reason. You're right that hormones rush through our body at that time and this may cause temporary relief in troubled area.

It's just my feeling (that i got reading comments here) that pain in crack area may be at least to some degree psychological. I would recommend that we do a poll that can show for how much % of people the trouble is psychological and how much physiological...

Anonymous Coward's picture

It's not psychological. Wish it was tbh.

ZDog's picture

I am shocked that there are so many people that have the same problem as me. I have been there and done that with so many of these "cures". I finally went to the doctor, you know, Ass Man. Told me I had pruritus ani, just like some other people have mentioned. He gave me Nystatin cream, and I swear to God, it took care of me in a day. A few months after I was done with the medicine (14 days, twice a day) it came back, I called for a refill, and it took care of it again.

I think I also tracked down the cause of my itchy ass. I have been using baby wipes after I shit to clean me off really well. However, it appears to be the cause of my itchiness too.

Good luck.

Anonymous Coward's picture

ole doc gave me trimovate cream it does work but has not cured the problem, also if my arse gets itchy and i put this cream on it makes the itch 10 times worse before slowly getting better for a couple of days then its back again with a vengeance, i dont know whether i should use this cream all the time or just when i get an itch.

Found Cure!!'s picture

I just spent an hour trying to find this site to share the "Cure". I had read all the postings and tried every suggestion on here without luck! My butt has been itching since about August 10th. Yesterday I bought Aveeno anti-itch cream. Day two: not only does it help with the itching, I know that I am healing! I hope it works for you too!

Found Cure's picture

I look forward to hearing all of your "thank yous"! Itchy butt, good-bye! It feels almost normal! Just two applications for 2 days! I have spent about $75. buying stuff. This tube cost about $3.50! Will check in to see if others also have success.

analitcher's picture

What is anal itching?

Anal itching is the irritation of the skin at the exit of the rectum, known as the anus, accompanied by the desire to scratch. The intensity of anal itching increases from moisture, pressure, and abrasion caused by clothing and sitting. At its most intense, anal itching causes intolerable discomfort that often is described as burning and soreness.

Anal itching is medically referred to as pruritus ani.

Synonyms and Keywords

rectal itching, pruritus ani, anus, skin irritation, allergic reaction, anal skin, pinworms, yeast infection, genital warts, hemorrhoids, rash, anal itching.

Hopefully gyne lotrimin will sooth the itch, and some of this might help..Albendazole (Albenza) is the most common treatment for pinworms.

Mebendazole (Vermox) and pyrantel pamoate (Pin-Rid, Pin-X) also work. They are also taken in a single dose and repeated 2 weeks later.

I'll let you know. In the mean time I am going to stop scratching and wasting all the rubbing alcohol.

Mr. Happy Crack's picture

2 months later still NO itching! Honestly use Penatin baby butt cream the stuff is cheap and it works!

the brown bomber's picture

hey FOUND CURE, not to burst yer bubble or anything, but the reason that crap youre using works is cuz its got hydrocortizone in it. hydrocortizone works by basically shutting down your bodys natural response(itching in this case) to an irritating situation. problem is, it inly works temporarily, and if you use it in the long term, it actually creates thinning of the skin membrane, which would be real bad news down there.

the brown bomber's picture

...same goes for the bloke using the trimovate cream. that stuff is bad news. get off it. dont use any steroidal ointments on yer ass.

joejoe's picture

I think sugar and juices (OJ, grape, etc) makes the itch to appear

avoid all that and perhaps simple sugar (bread, etc)

eating garlic soothes it for well as anti-itch cream, but there should be a permanent solution

Anonymous Coward's picture

hey brown bomber thanks for telling me to stop using trimovate i appreciate the advice but can u pls tell me wot to use instaed coz i dont want to go doctor again, thanks

Anonymous itchy bum crack's picture

I have had an itchy ass crack for a few days now.
I have tryed itching with everything including my grandmothers false teeth! (Arhh Baby Harder, HARDER.)
My Grandmother then screemed from upstairs...
This probelem is getting ridiculos!!


Anonymous Coward's picture

Best thing I've found for your backside is not an actual cream etc to get rid as nothing will get rid of this itch.

What you need to do is buy non perfumed baby wipes and aloe vera (as close to 100% as you can get) and fold the BW over put on some aloe vera gel and scratch. The AV gel helps you have a good scratch with little cutting of the skin (particularly if you cut your nails).

Also fuck youe dermo and doc off as they know fuck all about this itch and aren't good enough to help you.

Nurse23's picture

Try Corona Ointment--it's made for animals but I understand it works well on anal/gluteal cleft rashes, sore areas

Mr. Happy Crack's picture

Did I mention that Penatin works!

Yippee's picture

OK,I have finally figured it out. We all have a yeast infection. Last night I went to the health food store and bought coconut oil. There are 2 grades. On for cooking and one for our butts, which is half the price. I am also taking FloraSmart which has microflora, Acidophillus and Bifidus. I am feeling sooo much better! The site where I got this information said that yogurt would help too, just in case you are home and have some in the fridge right now. I also ordered Caprylic Acid gel pills that are good, though what I am taking now is working quite well. I googled the Caprylic Acid and found a place to get them online. Less than $20. including handling. If any of you try this let me know if it works for you.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

*choke, gasp, cough, gag*
*psst* Ah, that's better.

Seriously, though, that is an interesting thought, Yippee. I have had a few cases of itchy ass crack after being out in the heat and humidity for a while. This would make it sort of an athlete's asscrack, which could be a form of yeast infection.

Try this guy's suggestion and eat some yogurt! (I'd try the coconut oil thing, too, but I'm deathly allergic. Still, that would make for a funny PR story if I got hives in there... Maybe not.)

Beware the shitticane. Election, 2008.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Anonymous Coward's picture

For those that suffer from pw there are many things in the health food store that will get rid of that you dont have to go to doctor. The medical profession would love every one to go to the doctor for everything. There is a combination of wormwood and black walnut hull you can get at any health food store. I Kill parasites and bacteria, yeasts and viruses with a frequency generator. I refer to a book the cure for all diseases for those frequencys. Electro medicine has been around since the 1920,s it works. The other thing that causes annal inching is yeast. After you kill yeasts and pw with wornwood you need to take probiotics such as acidouflous or bifidus.

Shits Happily In The Shadows's picture
l 100+ points

My brother used to have a major case of the ass itchies on a regular basis from working in a hot kitchen, with sweat running down the crack. He had a lot of luck with a little cornstarch sprinkle. You may want to take some to the gym with you...all natural and cheap.
Assaulting toilets since 1977!

Assaulting toilets since 1977!

Anonymous Coward's picture

I have found that vasoline or diaper rash ointment will help ease the pain when your butt crack gets raw.

p's picture

are all these remedies safe? I mean you could make the situation worse unless there natural products.

W-itchy Woman's picture

It's me again... Just a refresh on my situation. What I think happened initially is I got roids, used too many HC creams and all that moisture created a fungal infection. And really, I've done every w-itch doctor treatment out there... I agree with the other guy, at one point, a blow torch to the ass sounded reasonable.

I've found MY cure, not sure if it will be yours and I hear what the Brown Bomber says but if a Steriod works... USE IT!! Here's what I'm on and no joke, I've been cured with no side effects... took two days and I've haven't scratched my ass in two weeks. GOD BLESS... Finally some sleep.

Here's what I'm on, hope it's helps others.

Clotrimazole and Betamethasone Dipropionate Lotion, 30 ML bottle. Made by Fougera. It's a long name but just one solution. Use it in the am and the pm and keep your ass dry.

I feel like a new woman.

Peace out,

City Cyclist's picture

I just came across this site by accident, good stuff, but I have seen some useful information listed here.

However, I just wanted to share my experience with you. As there are various reason for itchiness in the ass and as I am also a cyclist I thought this also contributed to my problem, which only became a problem in the summer months and in hot climates.

Like many others I had embarrassing itchiness especially when the temperature reaches more than 70 degrees. I had only been suffering from this in the last five until I saw a programme about this condition and this is what they suggested.

Keep the area clean but do not clean with strong soaps as this can cause additional problems. Never clean with strong soaps more than once a day is sufficient, following that use warm or tepid water and towel dry during the day to stop discomfort.

Avoid tight underwear or man made fibres (use cotton pants)

Go to your pharmacist/ chemist and ask for over the counter itchiness creams, there are various types for a variety of conditions and your pharmacist should be able to steer you in the right direction.

These can be applied twice a day and when going to bed, or as per the instructions on the carton.

On top of this suggest you can also drink or drink more Cranberry juice also help and also, if you do not already, take regularly a micro biotic yogurt.

You should see a noticeable difference in three weeks if conditions persists, suggest you speak to your doctor, but as for myself I will avoid the corn flour.

This worked for me and has helped especially when I was recently in Thailand and Cambodia in the heat and had no problems whatsoever.

Itchholio's picture

What a great site,
I am really glad I stumbled on to it
Laughing about our itchin arses is just one way to a cure...
My wife and I have a 16mos old and I have found relief from my daughters diaper bag. Of all things there is this stuff called Boudreauxs Butt Paste, No Kidding. This stuff has helped me tremendously. I had tried everything from Vitamin E oil to Antifungal Creams only to have said itch return with a vengence. Boudreauxs Butt Paste has made a believer out of me.
I have thought about calling them and suggesting them market it to adults with Itchy Ass. This has worked better than any precriptn that I have tried.
Its never cured and you always have to use it
but it really has helped me.
I will also be tryingthe Clotrimazole and Betamethasone Dipropionate Lotion cure posted above, Is this prescription?

Good Luck fellow Ass Itchers

Anonymous Coward's picture

thanks for the info - i laughed my butt off at some of the posts! for me, its not just about having an itchy butt, when i break wind its like all the gas is on fire too, making my ass crack and area around it burn!!! Even like, 5 mins after a shower..!

Take care and dont suffer

W-itchy Woman's picture

Hey there Itchholio... Yes, Betamethasone Dipropionate Lotion is a perscription. The best $20 bucks I've ever spent. If I added up all of the OTC creams and other crap I've bought it would have to be in the hundreds. Still no itchy butt... I am so relieved to be normal again. I'm telling you it's miracle shat. THIS WORKS... go to your doctor and insist on trying it!!!

Artful Dodger's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorl 100+ points

Thank God the itchy ass problem has finally been solved. Now to convince all the blood-in-their-poop people to just GO TO THE DOCTOR!

Anonymous Coward's picture

well for the past couple of months, my bum hole has been extremely itchy, but not all the time, its usualli when i go to bed. also it bleeds sometimes when i go 4 a shit. i have no idea whats up with me, please could anyone tell me what it could be x

GLAD/NYC's picture

I am so glad to have found this site.....After numerous medications that didn't work...what worked for me was to drink apple cider vineger every day(A GLASS MIX WITH WATER)and apply baby oil and BAM it was a say the least...I am Glad the latina from NYC....please post if this worked for you too...good luck.!

Anonymous Coward's picture

hey witchy woman i went to my doctor today and she gave me your recommendation but stated that your recommendation was not much different than trimovate cream, im going try it for few days and will see what happens, my doctor said i didnt want to prescribe it but it may be a magic cure because of what info i got from the net, lets see

i'm with stupid's picture

It's worse for me after the shower or cleaning.

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