infrequent and immense BMs

// // 5 Comments
j 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
0
0


Robert asks:

Sometimes I go for five days without the great relief a good movement. When I finally do go, I have to flush at least three times or I fill the bowl. Sometimes I clog it up so badly the plunger comes out full of poop. Should I see an ass-doctor?





Dear Robert,

Thanks for the question!

No need to resort to a doctor at this point. (Hey, that's gotta be the first time I've had to say THAT!)

However, it is probably unpleasant for anyone you live with to visit the bathroom after you've had your way with the toilet. How do you clean the plunger, for God's sake? (Mr. Poonurse puts the dirty plunger right next to the toilet for ME to take care of. Most times I just deal with it, but if I'm particularly pissed off at him, I wipe it out with his clean underpants, leave them out to dry, and then put them in his underwear drawer. But that's just me....)

Here's what to do: start using Metamucil or some other generic fiber supplement if you are too cheap to use brand name products. Three times a day, dissolve a teaspoon in a full glass of water and drink it. I believe you could add a shot of Jack Daniels or something if it is too unpalatable, but on the whole it isn't too disgusting just plain.

After a couple of days, you should at least be going every other day or so. It isn't a laxative -- it just moves things along a bit faster. Good luck!

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?












5 Comments on "infrequent and immense BMs"

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Giant shitters rule!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Bean Shit's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I used to be exactly like you! Just take Greens + and you'll be shitting regularly and smoothly till the day you die!

Shit for mercy.

Shit for mercy.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Or better yet, eat some salad.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points

Magnesium supplements will get things moving. To much magnesium will cause a "rapid cleanse" or "precipitous burst". Milk of Magnesia contains Magnesium.
_______
Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Anonymous Coward's picture

Note to self: DO NOT piss off poonurse.

"Mr. Poonurse puts the dirty plunger right next to the toilet for ME to take care of. Most times I just deal with it, but if I'm particularly pissed off at him, I wipe it out with his clean underpants, leave them out to dry, and then put them in his underwear drawer. But that's just me....)"

Dude...

Post new comment

  • Allowed HTML tags: s:62:"<em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <br>";
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.

More information about formatting options

CAPTCHA
This question is for testing whether you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.
Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters shown in the image.
To prevent automated spam submissions leave this field empty.