how did you get so smart, Dr. Adams?

// // 15 Comments
j 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
0
0


Molly asks:

How many years of school did you addend to learn so much about poop? i would like to follow in your footsteps! thanks a bunch!





....Poop Doctor is...er...not able to use the computer anymore.

His mom got mad.

Instead, you are stuck with Poonurse. I have no formal poo training, but my credentials are as follows:

I poop.

I look at other peoples' poop at work (Labor and Delivery RN)

I drink a LOT when off duty.

Nice to meet everyone!

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?












15 Comments on "how did you get so smart, Dr. Adams?"

Turd Hugegrunt's picture

Dear Poo Nurse:

Welcome to the Poo Clinic! Seems like even here, as well as my HMO, I must enjoy the services of a Nurse Practitioner rather than the doctor ... but with the HMO, it has been a good experience so far; and I'm sure the same will apply here.

By the way, could you be a little more specific? What do you mean by the "Poop Doctor is ... er ... not able to use the computer anymore"?

His mom got mad?!? What's up with that? Did she break his fingers?

Oh, and the fact that you drink a lot off-duty. Dr. Adams certainly would not have approved of that ... but then again, he just never realized that power-drinking is positively endemic with us Midwesterners, huh?

Peace and plop.

PooperGal's picture

Gotta admit I wondered what happened to Dr. Adams, too. Is it top secret?

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

I think he died. I'm not sure. I was never on the forums when he was around so I don't know. What the hell happened?!?

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Poonurse's picture
j 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

I think one too many persons asked about poop-eating and he couldn't take it.

PLEASE PEOPLE! I BEG YOU! DON'T EAT YOUR POOP! (Now there's a plea I never imagined I would have to make in my entire life).

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

And if you do, don't tell me about it!!!!!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points

What ever happened to Dr. Adams?

Rumor has it that is is no longer with us (on earth).

Can someone shed some light on this?
______
"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

embarrassed Coward's picture

I have a problem. Every time I poo it has no consistency. By no consistency I mean it doesn't come out clean it kind of gets cut off and it's all mushy instead of firm like it should be and I have to wipe forever and I do. Until there are no traces of poo at all. Then I go on my merry way and it may be moments later when I feel like my butt is itchy and I go back and it looks like I never wiped at all. What the hell? It never happened before and all of a sudden it happens every single time I poo. It's ridiculous I have to go back to the bathroom like 3 times after just to clear up what appears to be 'leaking out' even after I wipe myself clean. What's going on and how can I stop this it's starting to affect my social life.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

embarrassed, I'd be willing to be your poo has no consistency because you don't have enough fiber in your diet. Even if it's a weird analogy, the Egyptians used to make bricks out of mud and hay, among other things. The hay kept the bricks together. You need "hay".

Try either choking down some Metamucil or eating more fruits and vegetables, and I bet you get some relief. Bran cereal and muffins will also help.

Good luck.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Thus the phrase "shitting a brick" was born.

Connie's picture

I have been noticing for the last couple of months that I have skinned grape-like looking or kidney bean looking objects that come out in my bowel movements. Usually this is when I have loose and watery bowel movements but I have sometimes seen them in formed stool also. I am starting to get really worried about this.

Holy Shit's picture

hey i think i have worm or tapeworms.....sometimes im constipated, have nauseu when getting up, fatigue, diarrhea alot, and idk plz tell me whats rong with me, im only 115 pounds, so im not fat or anything

peace

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Holy shit, I think your problem may be a brain slug. And I'm guessing its starving....


_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Holy Shit's picture

hey i think i have worm or tapeworms.....sometimes im constipated, have nauseu when getting up, fatigue, diarrhea alot, and idk plz tell me whats rong with me, im only 115 pounds, so im not fat or anything

peace

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

I think you have Multiple Post Disorder.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

HS--not enough information. When are you constipated? After eating what do you have diarrhea? Do you drink alcohol? Do you exercise? Your doctor will want to know many things before deciding what your problem is. Please see your doctor!

Post new comment

  • Allowed HTML tags: s:62:"<em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <br>";
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.

More information about formatting options

CAPTCHA
This question is for testing whether you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.
Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters shown in the image.
To prevent automated spam submissions leave this field empty.