a thinly-disguised ploy to hit on Poonurse

j 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

Phil C asks:

Hi PooNurse! One thing I desperately need to ask, and which the answer to will surely make my bowels move in a explosive manner, is: is the nice looking lady on the PooNurse link actually you?

Now, to the matter of poop. Well, when I go to the toilet, I always line the bottom of the toilet (the PooPool area) with toilet paper. I do it cos it prevents my poop, when it drops, from causing an enormous "splash!" Is this normal? Should I just let the inner PooAnarchic let rip and let the splash take care of itself?

Hi Phil!

Thanks for making my day!

As I am really a labor and delivery nurse, you will find me located on the business end of the BabyChute, not the PooChute.

But thanks! (My avatar is a more realistic likeness....)

You have quite a novel approach to the "splashdown backwash" situation. Generally, at home I don't care about the splash. I consider it a bonus. But in public, that's a different story. I avoid the situation by not pooping in public at any cost.

Perhaps I shall now employ your makeshift safety net for poop when doing business on unfamiliar territory.


Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?

15 Comments on "a thinly-disguised ploy to hit on Poonurse"

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

My mother told me to do this, too. It never works with my giant turds. They just rip right through the toilet paper and splash away. Usually in public I shit and jump right before it hits the water. The splash (rarely) gets me.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

freakazoid's picture


The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Poonurse, where are you?

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Rian's picture

Hey PooNurse!!!
It doesn't hurt when I poop. But when I go I don't always have blood in my poop but I do about 1/2 the time. Is there something I can do to prevent this, or do you think it is serious enough to go to the doctor


The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

It's been two years since we heard from Poonurse. The last I heard she had been in a tornado and was living in a motor home. Is she even okay?

Someone seems to be going around taking Poop Reporters. (Perhaps a serial pooper?) Because now Turd Hugegrunt has gone missing in much the same way. Who's next? The Big Wiper?!?

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Dave's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooper

I wish I knew what happened to her. I think it was a flood... either way, she just disappeared. I wish she'd come back... so many poop problems are going unsolved!

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points

What about Dr. Adams?

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Or Snapper?

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

mott the poople's picture
l 100+ points

Or AssPhlegm?

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

I have taken all the above mentioned poop reporters in for questioning. They are living comfortaby at Guanotanamo Bay. Do not worry. My administration does not condone torturd. We just like to play dress up with the prisoners.

President in Exile
of Poopreportia

The Emir of Crapistan

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

President Sam, I implore you--let my people go! And then let them wipe in peace!

Serially, though, mott the poople: ass_phlegm is alive and well and living in Massachusetts with his wife and baby girl--gainfully employed as a graphic artist and loving it. He hopes to return to PR with another episode of Teed Off Turd eventually.

Snapper is still around out in B.C. but is involved with someone. She checks in every now and then to let us know how she's doing.

Dr. Adams is still in the midst of his residency in New York and is probably bogged down with his rounds.

Turd Hugegrunt voluntarily withdrew from the site for personal reasons, says he checks for PM's every now and then and lurks for stories every once in awhile.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points

Dave got tired of them, and they were all thrown into a Dumpster!

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points

Ok, back to the splash. I don't have this problem, as my turds are long enough to not splash, when they hit the water.

However, I splash when I get rabbit pellet poop. My advice, just let 'er rip, don't worry about the splash unless it embarasses you. If it does, the keep on doin' what you're doin'.
Born to clog your bog, with a giant log.

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Miss Simone Scat's picture
k 500+ points

I saw somewhere that people do this to cut down on smears too.
Producing waste since 1967

Producing waste since 1967

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points

I think I will go to medical school just so I can get to be a big deal on PoopReport, too.

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