dangers of ass fingering

// // 228 Comments
j 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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0

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Maink asks:

Dear sir,

I 28 year old man. I love fingring in my asshole (Sorry for be straight) using bathing soap. After doing it for a long time I feel very relax as my stometch gets emty by doing it. If i continues it (fingring) for long time some white liquid comes out from my ass, is it normal? some time i use to test it (the whit liquit) also. Kindly let me know if it is normal? Can this harm me? How many people goes through it?





Dear Maink,

First of all, I am NOT a man, despite what everyone else says.

Apparently, I have led a very sexually sheltered life up until I got involved with PoopReport. Fingering of the asshole for hours with bathroom soap is not something to which I have personally ever been exposed; so I will have to take some liberties with my answer here.

I am guessing that by saying "my stomach gets empty" after doing this, you mean you moved your bowels, right? Just trying to be sure we are on the same page here. Putting bathroom soap up your ass will do this to a person, I'm pretty sure about that part.

Here's where it all gets fuzzy -- apparently, after doing it (the fingering) for a long time, white liquid comes out of your ass, and you sometimes "test" it (I am suspiciously afraid you meant to say "taste" it).

I have no idea what the white liquid is (could just be mucus or something) but I don't even like to think about it too much.

"Is this normal?"

God knows after this long on PoopReport, I have no idea anymore what normal is.

"Can this harm me?"

Any time you taste something white that comes out of your ass, I would have to hazard a guess that yes, it could harm you.

"How many people goes through this?"

One.

Thanks for asking Poonurse!

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?

228 Comments on "dangers of ass fingering"

kimberly summers's picture

EVEYRTIME I GO TO RESTROOM TO TAKE A SH@#% nasty fatty matterial comes out somewhat like wax it looks pretty nasty so im wondering do any of you know why

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Dear Kimberly,

If you will tell me what a
SH@#% is I will try to help you.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

Poo Racoon's picture

Also clean around the poopie area when finished . PLEASE CLEAN UR HANDS! if u dont IT CAN LEAD TO STAPH INFECTION

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

The biggest danger of ass fingering would be to others, especially if you work in food preparation. Wash that finger!!!

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Kimberley, unless you scarfed down the candles along with the cake, it's probably not wax.

Anonymous Coward's picture

I Think u need help i would go see a doctor if i even had forts about sticking soap in my ass. it is not healthy the bum hole was made to get stuff out of your body and not for stuff to go in its up to you wht u do but i would get some help.

Anonymous Coward's picture

wtf is wrong with you guys putting shit up your ass

diarrheenies's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

It is perfectly normal to enjoy anal pleasure, but I would suggest using a commercial lubricant, such as KY Jelly (or at least Petroleum Jelly) and seeing if the white stuff still comes out.

Anonymous Coward's picture

If you finger your-self- every so often, and you begin to poop, is that normal?

Vanilla Dolphin's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

This is almost as twisted and depraved as that whole 'Gunpowder Enema' thing a while back. I think that, instead of petroleum jely, as diarrheenies has suggested, the guy should use straight petroleum, and touch it off with a match for an explosive 'finish.'

_______
"...I once ate a roadkill possum that had been raised on a diet of carp. I cooked it over a fire fueled with old tires and dog shit. [My fart] put to shame the sewers of Calcutta."
- ChiefThunderbutt

"...I once ate a roadkill possum that had been raised on a diet of carp. I cooked it over a fire fueled with old tires and dog shit. [My fart] put to shame the sewers of Calcutta."
- ChiefThunderbutt

turdfan's picture
l 100+ points

I've heard that a lot of guys sometimes enjoy having their significant others gently give them a rectal massage,so to speak. I think I would also enjoy that. Too bad I didn't think of it when I was much younger.

baron von crapalot's picture
k 500+ points


There once was an ad. that ran on the T.V. in the U.K. Circa 1975 who's tag line (sung merrily) was;

"A finger of Fudge is just enough to give your kids a treat"

Cadbury's Chocolate Fudge.

Just thought I'd throw that into the melting pot.
_______
Did I just fart?.... Oh shit! NO!!

I hope to god I've just sat in a Shepard's pie.

Brown Panty Raid's picture

its all good...try a bit of Ben-Gay up the old poop shute...

You definately will enjoy yourself, trust me!

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Care for a Moon Pie BVC?

baron von crapalot's picture
k 500+ points


Dunno what one of those is, butt there is a reference to them in Stephen Kings 'The Green Mile'

Don't think I could fit one up my tradesmans thought.

_______
Did I just fart?.... Oh shit! NO!!

I hope to god I've just sat in a Shepard's pie.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Chief, oh Chief. BVC doesn't know what a Moon Pie is. Can you take it from here?

baron von crapalot's picture
k 500+ points


It's not my fault I had a sheltered upbringing, with servants at my every beck and call. Do you know I was 11 years old when I finally worked out what my manservant was doing 'back there' every time I crapped! I got a bedae now though, Its a mini version of the fountain in trafalgar square._______
Did I just fart?.... Oh shit! NO!!

I hope to god I've just sat in a Shepard's pie.

Anonymous Coward's picture

i cant believe this site... lol

A guy here for laughs's picture

i love this "...I once ate a roadkill possum that had been raised on a diet of carp. I cooked it over a fire fueled with old tires and dog shit. [My fart] put to shame the sewers of Calcutta." so good man! also its probably soap that caused your problem, because ive analed before and one time i used soap and that happened then i didnt and everything was fine so its probably the soap

wangcar's picture

i love arse fingering, feels good, ive used my own spit and vaseline to lubricate before, word of advice though dont masturbate with a spray can the lid comes off, i was unfortuante for this to happen to me, but luckily i mansged to pull it out so no embrrising trip to the hospital

Transit Time's picture

As a newcomer to this site, which apparently prides itself on shamelessness where poop is concerned, I'm surprised to see so much anxiety expressed in these comments around anal pleasure. Also, aren't any of the gay or lesbian contributors to this site bothered by the homophobia expressed in so many of the comments? Or is poopreport more or less for straights only?

Raggedmama's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Just to point out - putting soap up the dirtpipe isn't necessarily dangerous. Maybe there's some confusion here because people have been talking about BARS of soap going up the dirt pipe - which is obviously NOT OK! Also I don't think soap ought to be used on a very frequent basis as part of anal masturbation/anal sex routines.
But I learned at an early age how slivers of plain ivory or glycerine soap are very effective as suppositories for constipation.
They'll irritate the rectum but won't chronically inflame it. My parents took "soap sticks" themselves (as well as giving them to us!) and I'm the same. (In fact just recently I had to give one to my little girl when she was constipated again).
It's just a shame that most of the soaps you see in shops that are "conceptually" suited to anal insertion are not chemically suitable. I learned the hard way: any soap with any added perfume is likely to contain chemicals that will make your shithole very sore indeed. (And cause you to strain hard to get it out, opening your fissures or giving you new ones!)
That "squidgy" soap which ought to be ideal for fashioning suppositories is absolutely not for anal insertion. Ditto, you can't use the "poop soap" to make yourself do poop, and the "face/arse" soap is only usable on the first of those bodily areas.

Anonymous Coward's picture

Neat

Ward's picture

gagging your ass till it throws up!...the soap makes it wirse, you use soap to heighten the effectiveness of an enema

Anonymous Coward's picture

I doubt that the external sphincter will get slack through fingering your bottom, ie pushing your finger up inside you. I expect the appearance of slackness that you mention is due to the relaxation of the sphincter as it has become accustomed to having your finger inserted into it especially if (as I expect) you are gentle.

Anonymous Coward's picture

Personal experience ramming my ass pretty good with sex toys, if you've cleared yourself out of fecal matter, your ass will generate some kind of mucus, yes. And yes, it is rather white I would say.

Sometimes I see a bit of the stuff streaked along my logs of shit before I flush them, too. Just the body's way of making sure the stuff will move smoothly out of your butt, I guess.

As for tasting it? Ass to mouth stuff is done by porn stars all the time. I wouldn't go so far as to call it safe, but you gotta figure it's safER to put something that just came out of your ass into your mouth if all you see is the white stuff compared to if there's any brown there.

Anal says wat's picture

I think u people should stick to rubbing the clit

paddy backwards's picture

Right lads ! Anything that gives you pleasure is all good end of. I would love it if my wife would finger my ass and rim me but she wont coz of the smell ! I always finger and rim her though ! I am careful and clean at all times. ENJOY !

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points

Transit Time mentions the word "homophobia".
What the hell kind of bullshit word is "homophobia" anyway? Break it down into its two constituents: The prefix "homo" comes from the Greeks, and means "as one", as in "homogenised", homologated", "homonym", etc.
A Phobia is an irrational fear.
Therefore this bullshit word "homophobia" must mean "an irrational fear of oneself".
Is a homophobe afraid to look in the mirror, or what???
...(excuse me, I have to go recalibrate the poofterometer. Can't be too careful now, can we?).

_______
I don't bite my nails, 'cause I don't like the taste of whats under 'em.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Anonymous Coward's picture

what the original poster is refering to is prostate milking (google it, you might be surprised) or not!
This is the male equivalent of a G-spot and will produce a discharge and a heighted orgasim so they say. The most important thing about fingering is to have lube (not soap) its an irritant, clean finger, trim nails or better yet use a condom to prevent scratching colon. If you want a perfect a-hole you have to treat it with repect.

El Scumbag's picture
k 500+ points

Hope all's safe with you and your loved ones BM. Must be pretty scary out there.

As for probing the poopchute with whatever proboscis is available (fingers, tongue, tallywhacker, etc), well I quite enjoy undertaking such activities with a willing and freshly clean lady such as my girlfriend, but I have to be in the driving seat, to to speak. I have no desire to have anything inserted into my own Khyber, thanks very much. A lubed and gentle finger can be pleasant, certainly, and there is no doubt that pleasure can be acheived from anal insertion, but I don't really find that it's something I specifically desire. I believe that at if a chap has thoughts in that area, then one should at least try a little bumplay, and if it's something that delights and inspires, then bravo and have lots of splendid arsefun accordingly. But if it does not, then it's not important as there are many other sexual avenues along which to perambulate together. In my current relationship for example, my good lady takes great pleasure from bumfun herself, but has no desire to insert her fingers, tongue or anything else into MY chod-bin, for which I'm gratified. If only because she has long fingernails, coupled with the small matter of my piles, which makes the prospect an unappealing one for us both.

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points

El Scumbag,
are you a reader of Britain's leading toilet grin-mag, 'Viz', perchance?
_______
I don't bite my nails, 'cause I don't like the taste of whats under 'em.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

El Scumbag's picture
k 500+ points

Oh yes. Can't you tell? I know, it was the wrong use of 'chod bin' wasn't it? Damn! Well, I've not been awake for long, old chap.

I'm even put a number of definitions in the profanisaurus, although I have yet to receive any what should be at least 10 pencils by now. I suspect that they don't actually exist.

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points

No, no, I think you've used the term 'chod-bin' in it's correct context.
If theres any doubt, you could always ask Professor you-know-who, of St. Arseholes College.
_______
I don't bite my nails, 'cause I don't like the taste of whats under 'em.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Thunderbox's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

This would be a case for the Bottom Inspectors.

The voice of sanity

Anonymous Coward's picture

this site is fuckin crazy

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points

Next time, try either lava soap or boraxo. That should cure you of this little habit.

Anonymous Coward's picture

damn.. everybody that practices ass fingering here seems to like it.. you guys are making me think about it, maybe ill let my girlfrind stick her tongue in my ass hole tonight

Anonymous Coward's picture

i love fingering my ass before and durning a shit, its the simple things in life thats worth living, just nice soft toilet paper and not the actually finger.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Dear Anonymous Coward.04.29.2009
Your comment does not make a lot of sense, is it the finger or the toilet paper that thrills you so? Next time your parents are out and you have access to the PC please come back and clarify. I sincerely hope none of the words I used were incomprehensible to you.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

shittin'kitten's picture

it's been a long time since I laughed THIS hard!! ....my real question is for one of the comments....... you've anally dinged yourself with a spray can?? of what? why?? holy crap people a sex toy and some lube will run you $30... think about it. all I can see when I close my eyes now is some poor bastard ramming himself with a can of spray paint then frantic over the plastic cap left inside. if only he'd thought to use one of the cans you have to use a screwdriver to pop the safety cap off! oh god....the horror ....and the laughter.. imma have a seizure in a second!

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Hey, Maink. I'm having a hard time imagining all of this. Do you think that you could make a video and post it on you tube. I'm especially confused about the "taste test" portion. don't forget close ups of the white ooze!
_______
Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Russell's picture
l 100+ points

Yeah sticking soap up your ass must burn like hell, you know. Ass fingering is disgusting.
_______
Russell the shitting queen

Russell the shitting queen

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Russell.......As a child I was subjected to periodic enemas with a castile soap solution. There was no burning sensation, just an unpleasant feeling of fullness and the humiliation that went with the process. Enemas were once thought to be good therapy for practically everything. I suppose that a less gentile soap, Tide laundry detergent, Lava hand soap or other such harsh products might be somewhat irritating to the old poop chute.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

Anonymous Coward's picture

it is probly soap tht gathered up ur shitter u minger

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Uh.....WHAT????

Try English next time.


_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points

Try using Irish Spring, then you can feel more manly about this idea.

I_like_to_finger's picture

I use saliva to finger my ass.
seems to work fine
man that prostate is sooooo good :)
manik, you should probably not eat shit out of your ass (no vulgar pun intended), because thats just not healthy

I googled this shit's picture

this is like the best thing i've googled in a LONG time! lol

bogart's picture
m 1+ points - Newb


_______
BOGART the mafabuwab

Whoever posted the original story is certainly lacking in basic grammar skills. Therefore my point is, is that its probably a kid trying to get off on another immature and absolutely vile story. Kids certainly do have quite the "imaginations" these days.

BOGART the mafabuwab

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