some details on colonics

j 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

Christina B. asks:

I was told that over your lifetime, fecal matter tends to cake into the lining of your intestines. This person also told me that if I went for colonic treatments it would lessen my chances to develop GI-type cancers. I need details on what all is involved, please... also, what size tubing would be used? Thanks.

Dear Christina,

Thanks for the question.

I, personally, am not a fan of colon cleansing. I don't believe the hype about it, I don't believe it will prevent cancers, and, more importantly, I just can't see myself doing it.

However, your question remains. Here is a link if you really, truly want to get into that lifestyle.

Bear in mind that I don't endorse this and that I am not a doctor of anything.

As to the tubing, just use any old enema bag and tubing (they usually are sold together) commercially available.

Thanks for asking Poonurse, and have fun!

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?

9 Comments on "some details on colonics"

PooperGal's picture

We flush out colicking horses by sticking a garden hose in their butts and flushing with water. It amazes me that the horses don't freak --because the water is cold.

I think colonics are a "load of shit" - at least, anything beyond a normal laxative for constipation. There is no such thing as shit crusting and sticking to the intestines, because the intestinal walls are constantly producing and shedding epithelial cells that would take any encrusted crap with them when the slough off.

My guess is that eating enough dietary fiber and drinking enough water (or getting it through food) is enough to keep the bowels minty fresh and clean. Otherwise, have an Ex-Lax brownie and glass of lactose-rich milk, and you'll be good to go!

What do you think, Poonurse?

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

I'm glad I'm not a horse.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Michelle's picture

Actually, you would not believe the results from colonics. I have had around 10 of them, and not to be gross, but you will be amazed at what is inside of you. The place that I went to had a client who had a pink barbie high heel come out of her during her colonic procedure. She remembered swallowing it when she was six (the lady was in her 40s, when it was released). It may not seem like the most luxurious of treatments, but I must say I feel a whole lot better after having them.

Isabella Burch's picture

Personally I feel sorry for all of you that choose to carry this around in you and re-absorb it. It's your septic tank..clean it sometimes. It's your large intestines which is about 5-6 ft long. If you want to carry it around with you than do that and stop worrying about the clean ones. There's a BIG difference in the way you'll feel. Ever wonder why your stomach are so big?

jessie Bower's picture

For all of you that think a fleet enema is gonna even come close to colonics have alot to learn. A fleets only goes about 8-12 inches..a clonic cleanses the entire length of the large intestines. Read! "Death begins in the colon"

HersheySquirt's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I poo 2 or 3 times a day. Do I need a clonic? I have a pooch on my tummy and I can't loose weight.
Eating lots of dark blue frosting turns your poo green!

Eating lots of dark blue frosting turns your poo green!

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

What you more likely need is a gym membership.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Don't use a "clonic" Hershey. Cloning people is illegal.

What if everyone farted at once?

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Cloning the pooch on your tummy, while controversial, is not illegal,

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

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