constipated, and only blood comes out

// // 17 Comments
j 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
0
0

Shayla asks:

i am really constipated. i havent gone for 16 days. and i've taken laxatives and enemas and drinking water and prune juice and sitting on the toilet and pushing and pushing really extremely super hard that i pass out. nothing but blood comes out. am i pushing too hard? what happens if i push too hard? please help me.

========

Incidentally, I (Dave from PoopReport) responded to her:

Hi Shayla,

I've forwarded your message to Poonurse. She has quite a few questions in her queue, but hopefully she'll be able to get to yours soon. I'll send you an email when she does.

In the meantime, my advice: pushing is bad for you. It causes blood vessels in your anus to burst, which in turn causes hemorrhoids. After 16 days, it's best to call a doctor. But pushing is the worst thing you can do -- it'll come out when it's ready.

but the blood raises even more health questions. It could be nothing, or it could be very serious. I'd get that ass to a doctor.

Dave

PoopReport





Dear Shayla,

Thanks for the question.

If it has been 16 days since you have poo'd, you are straining to go, pushing so hard that you pass out, and nothing but blood comes out, here's some helpful advice: IT IS TIME TO SEE YOUR DOCTOR.

Soon. Like today. Seriously, go!

Hopefully it is nothing serious, and the story of what happens next might just make the front page of PoopReport.

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?












17 Comments on "constipated, and only blood comes out"

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Damn! Some people can be real dumbasses. If this happened to me I would have been at the emergency room long before I ever asked a question on a poop humor site. What a stupid fuck!!!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Count Poopula's picture

"What a stupid fuck!!!"
Shame on you, TSV. That was uncalled for. I wouldn't go either!

butt nugget's picture

Perhaps you have an ass spider up there.

Shawna's picture

Ok i am pretty scared i don't know if i should be but i am. when i poo i poo out blood, and it's constantly i always have to go the washroom but when i do it's mostly just blood. is there something wrong with me

Alex Cooper's picture

I heard the "Crazy Al" song, "Constipated" and about how this guy ate 16 extra large pizza's, so I tried it and not I'm constipated because my bladder is all blocked up and my biut is growing in size rapidly. When I try to go, and squeeze, I push so hard that blood pops the skin of my butt.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

You should join up with the guy who claims he is pooping into his butt. I forget what Poonurse question he posted under.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

DungDaddy's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

I know it's too late, but my advice to Shayla would have been: "Just see if you can make it to the morgue real quick."

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points

I love blood in the poop stolries.

Hmmm, let's see. No poop for 16 days, laxatives don't work, blood. Um... I would say that the practical thing to do is SEE a doctor, or better still, go to the ER.

I am begining to think that people who have blood in their poop and come to PR, have fart osmosis of the brain.
_______
"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Fart Malone's picture

My asshole is out of control. I farted in Rona today and actually melted nails! What can i do ..POO NURSE HELP!

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

All I can say is, "Yikes!" How is it possible to have such symptoms and NOT go to the doctor? Is shamefulness strong enough to risk death or serious injury for? I can't imagine not going for 16 days, with the attendant blood and pain. Doctors have seen butts and poop before. I hope this person went and got healed.

Usberto's picture

I had the same problem, and I was doing a little research on me, about my eating habbits, so the solution was to eat a banana a day or 2 a day, so everytime I eat I have a piece of banana, besides that the cronic constipation I had was cause for eating food with high dose of salt, try to reduce the salt intake, the only prolem I have now cause by the constipation is the hemorroids, now I have to see a doctor to remove them, you bleed because after figthing for the stool to come out and pushing you are causing damage to your vessels, and of course if you have already the hemmoroids they will open again, so eat bananas, or banana shakes, also peach is excellent, after filling better try to get a nice cream like Johnson & Johnson and apply some in the anal hole where the hemoroids are to help the skin heal you need to have that are always mosturise/lubricated , If you feel constipated have an enema with only water and use it then use the bathroom so the water can help reduce pain. Also the cream will help because after using the bathroom you anal hole will reduce its size to small making it difficult for the gas to come out so if you use cream and I mean a lots try to apply some inside the anal rectum so will help reduce the soar/inflamation and your gases will go out easy.

Anonymous Coward's picture

My butt hurts! N it feels lyk its right there when I get the feeling to go. N then when I do try to go it doesn't wana come out! N there's blood clots in the toilet. N my stomach hurts sooo bad. What could it be?!

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

I suspect you inadvertently sat on a midget...and now he or she is desperately trying to claw his or her way out.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Clogged crap's picture

I didnt eat cereal this mornin. So just all off a sudden I had the urge too "Poop" but I held it in for just a couple of minutes.
Soo when I got too the toilet nothing won't come out and it felt like I was shitting razorblades...So when I was done there was blood. So Im wondering what could be wrong because I was never constipated nothing. Any reasons or Comments?? or adivce would be great!

Teresa's picture

I took a couple laxitives for constipation, when I did go I noticed blood on the paper (bright). I do not have hemmroids that I know of. I do not have insurance so unless its really something I should run to doctor with please let me know. I already have bills at collection and dont want to add to them.
Thank you

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

I wonder what in the happened to her? Did she ever get the migdet out?!
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

meowpoo's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

that's right shayla go see a doc.-- what smells? shit!

-- what smells? shit!

Post new comment

  • Allowed HTML tags: s:62:"<em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <br>";
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.

More information about formatting options

CAPTCHA
This question is for testing whether you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.
Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters shown in the image.
To prevent automated spam submissions leave this field empty.