cauterizing your hemorrhoids?

// // 36 Comments
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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Dave (yup, me) asks:

DungDaddy keeps on claiming that eating super hot food is a way to stop your hemorrhoids -- by cauterizing them, I guess. Is that the case? I don't see why chemical burns on a burst vein in your rectum would help things. Unless the pain of the burns is so bad that normal hemorrhoid pain pales in comparison... what do you think?


Dear Dave,

The substance that make peppers "hot" are called capsaicinoids. The primary one of these is capsaicin. Capsaicinoids make their presence known by setting off pain receptors in the mouth, causing the burning sensation, running noses and watery eyes.

Since the capsaicinoids are broken down in the stomach long before reaching the small intestine, it is now believed that this is not a cause of stomach ulcers as once thought. And since they don't cause ulcers in the stomach, it is highly unlikely that they would have enough potency to "cauterize" a hemorrhoid even further down the line.

This is not to say that spicy foods can't help reduce the symptoms of hemorrhoids though because one of the beneficial things about capsaicin is the anti-inflammatory/anti-coagulating effect that it produces.

A hemorrhoid is simply an engorged vein that can contain clots. If enough capsaicinoids are consumed to obtain the abovementioned effects, then the swelling of the affected veins would be reduced, and the thinner blood would flow more freely, thus eliminating or at least reducing the pain of the hemorrhoid.

Thanks for asking Motherload!

Motherload is a Certified Nurse Assistant as well as an IBS sufferer, which means she knows a lot about poop. Got a question for her? Ask it here.












36 Comments on "cauterizing your hemorrhoids?"

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

But isn't it also true that certain spicy foods and condiments, such as Tabasco, can have a decided effect on the anal ring when exiting? Wouldn't this be a trade-off of sorts?

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

DungDaddy's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

I think Motherload's medical opinion leaves the door open to my hot-food-as-rhoid-cure theory. What's the matter, Dave? You got a hemorrhoid?

My theory was not that the offending butt-vein was cauterized, but that the irritation of ring sting caused the rhoid to constrict to an unnoticable size...

One more humble question for Motherload: If the capsaicin is broken down early in the digestive process, what makes your bum burn so after you have eaten hot food?

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points

So there is a grain of truth to DD's claims.

I would think that if spicy food burns coming out, that it did not spend enough time in the digestive system, to have the Capsacinoids broken down.

I eat alot of hot, spicy food, and never have problems with burning when it comes out.

Perhaps metabolism plays a role in this, in addition to the individual's digestive capabilities.
_______
"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Mary Queen of Scats's picture
l 100+ points

I would think that if capsaicinoids are a scientifically proven way to reduce hemorrhoids/hemorrhoid pain, that doctors and such would be prescribing habanero shakes to sufferers. Of course, doctors also used to bleed people out to get rid of infections, so maybe they just haven't figured out the connection yet.

_______
Holy skid marks Batman!

Bad kitty! Bathtubs are NOT litterboxes!

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points

Black pepper comes out of me exactly like it went in. My anus used to itch and burn all the time, but when I figured out I was simply peppering my bunghole, and quit eating it (the pepper, that is), my ring of fire went away.

DungDaddy's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Your Highness. Doctors don't prescribe anything that is not approved by the FDA and I don't think the entire country of Mexico has enough money to push Habanero shakes through FDA approval.

Motherload's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

Now that I have done even MORE research on this subject and have most likely read every publication ever written about capsaicin, I have this to add.

Capsaicin is slightly soluble in water, but HIGHLY soluble in alcohol, fats and oils. So my guess is that a great deal of just how much the capsaicin gets broken down during digestion would be greatly influenced by the type of food it is in, how it was prepared, and what you are drinking with it.

Since capsaicin is not distributed evenly in any given pepper, and the concentration of it can vary from one pepper to another to such a degree, it would be impossible to anticipate what the outcome is going to be.

Capsaicin actually has been proven to be beneficial to the mucosal membranes of the digestive system and also reduces excessive production of gastric acid. As I mentioned before, it would be more easily digested when combined with fats, oils and/or alcohol. However, alcohol itself is an irritant to the mucosal lining, and can stimulate the production of excess stomach acid and also inhibit the release of bicarbinate from the pancreas which results in stomach acid spewing out of your ass.

So when you eat spicy foods that result in the ring of fire later on, think about what you consumed with it. If you ate something that was fat-free, oil-free and drank no alcohol, then it is probably burning because of some residual capsaicinoids still present upon exit.

But if you had a spicy, greasy meal and drank alcohol-containing beverages, then chances are that your ass is burning because of the stomach acid and chemicals that you drank. Not the food.

Another factor to consider is the frequency in which spicy foods are consumed. There does seem to be some resistance acquired by those who eat these things on a regular basis as opposed to someone that just eats them on rare occasion. Everyone's pain threshold is unique.

Also, doctors are very aware of the many benefits of capsaicinoids. In fact, capsaicin is being used in many different types of medication (mostly topical ointments) to treat pain and inflammation from arthritis, psoriasis and other common ailments.

______
Always looking out for number two!

Always looking out for number two!

Anal About Poop's picture
l 100+ points

I know a guy, who knows a guy that laughed Tabasco Sauce out of his nose and lost his sence of smell. When I eat too many jalapenos my lips feel numb. So maybe it works the same on the hemi, it numbs it so it doesn't hurt as bad.

thedr9wningman's picture

I'm not so sure about this theory that capsaicin gets dissolved well in fats. Maybe I have a quick metabolism, but if I have hot Indian food, I KNOW about it (via the ring of fire) in about 12 hours. Now, we all know, Indian is laden with butter and fat. But then, how to explain the same situation with Thai, which tends to be less fatty (when not eating coconut milk-based curries, which I tend to not do too regularly). If I have a plate of noodles or some spicy tom sum (the green papaya salad), I can still get the burn.

Granted, I tend to eat it about 4X hotter than your average jalapeño lover, but probably less hot than a habanero cowboy... Thai chilies are yummy!

Healthy1 and I have totally different experiences, apparently!

Oh, and, (jeez, I'm getting pretty personal here) my rhoids only flare up when I haven't washed much... the spicy food has no effect whatsoever.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

I will get "ring of fire" when I eat peppers canned in vinegar, like your run-of-the-mill canned jalapeno rings or jarred jalapeno rings. This one food item causes me to suffer like nothing else does.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

shitwit's picture
k 500+ points

The worst case of "exhaust pipe syndrome" I've ever had was from eating hot wings that were labeled "atomic". I had to sign a waiver before eating them. Hot in the way in and VERY hot on the way out! But then again... I did consume an inordinate amount of Yeunlings with said wings.... so maybe it was the beer in addition to the wings that burned my ring. And my only advice is this: after consuming the aforementioned food and beverage, and experiencing "exhaust pipe syndrome", DO NOT go swimming in the ocean!


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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

I suggest using a lighter or blowtorch to cauterize the little buggers.
_______
Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan
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SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points

Another way to cauterize hemorrhoids is to pop them, then immediately apply fresh ground up Habanero peppers to the site of the hemmorhoids. *squirming in my chair*.
_______
"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Dude.

I do like how you say "the site of the hemorrhoids" like they could be anywhere.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

lovethehotness's picture

Love the site...it seems I get the burning ring of fire after I have eaten Jalapenos not ones that are fresh...I love spicy foods...If I can find it in spicy all the better...but no matter how much bread or solids I put before a pepper it always comes back to literally bite me in the ass...I am once and for all Swearing off Jalapenos!!...

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points

I've submitted a story to Dave about the thirteen year-old daughter of a friend of mine who gave herself an anal fissure and had to have it medicially cauterized. I'll be interested in the comments of Motherload and others about that.

hot pepper's picture

Crushed & ground red peppers are my thing, I love em and litterly cant eat too much. If I feel like Im getting a cold, I will put the mother load on my lunch... lets say pizza, sometims Ill just take a tablespoon full and chew em up. My point is Im fairly certain that it helps me kick that cold or never get it... also I eat alot of hot food, but when I load up I can feel it work its way through in 6-12hrs and yes my ass burns, there is no way this stuff gets broke down all the way.. I guess Im wondering if it can be bad for your intestine track to purge with hot peppers?

Crunchy Frog's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Couldn't you just put that gel you use on your gums to deaden pain on your red hot inflamed ringer? That's what I would do.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

I am a chili freak. I chop up jalapenos in my morning oatmeal. I add chopped habeneros to comercial salsa.
I sprinkle extra
reshampatti chili
powder on all my curry dishes. I have no burning ring of fire or roids. However I have, on occasion,
farted and burned holes in my underwear or set the paper on fire while cleaning up.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

ROID's picture

These things are genetic BUT If you eat well stay smaller and excerise you can beat that. It also can be a food allergy like to milk and wheat I was told. I am suffering right now. I find only small relife with prescribed meds Its really a wait it out thing. I been bleeding with every bowel movemnet for 5 days FINALY now that stopped but the pain is still there with every stool and suffering for 13 days now screaming with every stool. I know for me I am a heavy beer drinker and I really think this started my problems. I also am 75 pounds overweight. Its sad becase once you get these roids they only go down but never go completly away unless in rare cases where you do completly everything to rid them. This is my wake up call I am drinking so much less now hardly at all and am eating 3 high fiber fruits a day and less meat more greens and walking twice day 20 min each am aiming to lose 75 pounds. I know these things hurt like hell especily the bowel movemnet but you must get the turds out or you will end up worse in the hospital just take it slow.

Anonymous Coward with an ass load of pain's picture

Got a hemorrhoid 2 days ago. Can't hardly walk for the pain. Tried all kinds of creams but not really relieving the marbles in my rear. Tried the tooth gel and then cream over top. Might be able to walk today.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

ACwaalop......I was bothered with roids while in the service and a doctor told me to wrap an ice cube in plastic and stick it up my ass. It was rather chilly but it did reduce the size of the roid and provided relief. A popsicle in a condom would probably work too.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I like popcycles an wouldn't want to waste one up my butt.__
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Silly girl, it's wrapped up in a condom. You could still eat that popsicle.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

But it has condom powder on it!!
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Poor SP, only having been with guys using finger cots for rubbers...I'll bet even then they didn't have to roll them down far enough to read the serial numbers.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Ha ha. You 're so funny Bilepump! For real, there are serial numbers on a condom?
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points

SP, those condoms are WAY past their expiration date if the lube has turned to powder.

_______
How I beat IBS

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Oh...so thereis no powder in condoms. Mabe I'm thinking of gloves. I don't much about condoms to be real honest.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

They make the best water balloons.


_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

So you know from experience, Bilge?
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Of course...don't have any other use for them, and the future doesn't look to hold any either, which makes my life a lot less complicated.

_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

So you at least wait until they expire before you turn them into condoloons.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

oh hell no....the lube makes 'em stick to the victim that extra fraction of second, to more thoroughly soak them upon bursting. You want to use them fresh, so the lube isn't dried out. If you have the extra cash, get the condoms with a spermicide....I hope (probably in vain) that if I splash the fucktards I aim at with enough of that shit, they won't be able to breed and continue to fuck up my otherwise wonderful world.

_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

What an imagination! YTou are so funny, Bilge. And I've learned about condoms. Not that I need to know.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Anonymous's picture

How can one possibly eat too many jalapenos. They are one of the essential food groups (along with the bacon group, beer group, and anything-that-gives-vegans-the-heebie-jeebies group).

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