help me bring forth the virgin of guadalpoop

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j 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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Billy asks:

I've noticed some of my poop looking like popular religious figures, but my digital cam never captures it properly. How can I increase my photo quality?






Billy,

Thanks for the question!

How I admire you artistic types! My poop, no matter how hard I try, only looks like logs. Sometimes it is runny, though. But never does it look like popular religious figures.

Perhaps you should take some sculpting classes. I imagine a constipated crap would make for better cohesiveness, and you could simply (while some would consider it cheating) form a "Pope Poop" after the fact rather than trying to twist your colon whilst the deed is in progress.

Skillfully done, few would be able to tell the difference even with the cheapest of digital cameras.

Send the pictures! I'm sure Dave will put them right on the front page!

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?












10 Comments on "help me bring forth the virgin of guadalpoop"

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Big deal! My mom farts words out her ass. Last summer she said, "Spock!"

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Slim Jim Junkie's picture

Really?
My farts sound like a modified Honda exhaust.

freakazoid's picture

My fart said "PWAH" the other day.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

The other day Mom's butt said "Perv".

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Bunga Din's picture
j 1000+ points

I had a 2 stage fart a friend said sounded like help me.

Logjam's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Perhaps farts are god speaking to us.

Logjam

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

In which case it would be hilarious if someone's ass said, "I'm an atheist!"

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

PooperGal's picture
k 500+ points

I've been told that if you drink a certain powerful liquor, your flatulence will sound like the name of a Japanese car manufacturer.

You're heard the saying, "Absinthe makes the fart go 'Honda,'" haven't you?
PooperGal
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

PooperGal
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points

I think you have an over active imagination Billy.

I can see it occuring once, as a freakish event, but multipule times. Please.
_______
"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Poop Monster's picture

Why don't you poop on the doorstep of a church and let them see for themselves your holy fecal goodness?

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