ate poop, feels sick

// // 53 Comments
j 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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John Malkavia asks:

My friend ate some poop the other day because of a dare. He hasn't been feeling well. Is it because of the poop?






Dear John Malkavia,

First, I must rethink my previous beliefs that people who eat poop are somehow abnormal. I am receiving this question more and more often, so it must be more common than I previously thought. I stand corrected.

Was it his own poop, or someone elses? Poop is swarming with germs, and wasn't meant to be recycled, even on a dare. My guess is that he will be OK ( though I admit I feel kind of sick just typing this answer), but if he doesn't feel better soon, he had better go to a doctor.

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?












53 Comments on "ate poop, feels sick"

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Eeewww!!!!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

freakazoid's picture

So don't eat poop, shithead!

Slim Jim Junkie's picture

I don't know why people do this.
I mean in the modern world, we have water filtration, and food preparation to insure that we never eat poop.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Some people are just nasty, that's all.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Bunga Din's picture
j 1000+ points

Years ago the Canadian Air Force's Paratroopers were disbanded because of hazing involving them forced to eat shit. It was shown on TV, truly disgusting, eating shit, vomitting and then eating the vomit.

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points

Poop is not only made of digested food, but also of toxins eliminated by the body, harmful germs, and dead cells. Just not something to stick in your mouth.

So there's your biology 101 class "reasons NOT to eat poop".
______
Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Anonymous Coward's picture

Just for the record, my wife used to like it when I drank her piss and ate her shit. Although I often drank all of her piss, she only made me eat a small mouthful or two of her shit--usually after she had already done most of her business into the toilet. I was hesitant at first to eat, but she grabbed me by my balls while we were doing 69 with her on top, pinning me down. So I pretty much had to do whatever she said or face agony that no man can bear. I did this on many occasions over several years, and I still lick her asshole clean from time to time after she has done "big business" and feels like using my tongue for toilet paper, always swallowing the residue.

Lots of people do this stuff without any health problems. I'm one. I never got any tummy upset from the shit. But piss can be another matter. First-morning urine is nasty, acidic stuff, and I would often get a bit rumbly and gassy if I drank a full bladder of that stuff.

The only thing I would emphatically state is that NO FECES MUST GET ON A WOMAN'S VULVA, EVER!!! This happened once, and my wife had a terrible infection, and had to take antibiotics!

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

I cannot imagine what your breath smells like.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Double Flush's picture
k 500+ points

.... what moderators are letting this fetishist stuff through? The only thing anyone would get out of that is not to eat poop or get it on your cha-cha, and the rest is just fetish stuff that doesn't belong on PoopReport.

Oh, and Anonymous Coward--*tosses AC some Listerine* please, before daphne pukes.

_______
I'm so good at clogging up toilets, I can make mine back up when there's nothing in it.

[Insert witty banter here]

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Was your friend in the navy?
_______
Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan
Join The Poop Reporter's Lounge

SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

AC, that has to be the most disgusting thing I have read on PR in a long time. I am STILL getting dry heaves thinking about your comment. Never in a million years would I make Gilbert do this, nor would I do it for Gilbert. Poop belongs in the toilet, NOT the bedroom! Well, if that's what floats your boat, then fine. Just don't tell us about it on a poop HUMOR site, because it is disgusting, not funny.

_______
I was a category five! Category five, I tell you! Get it right or I'll be back to PROVE IT!!!!- Katrina

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Anomalous Coward's picture
k 500+ points

Let me see, your friend ate poop and now he's sick. I read this and now I'm sick. Coincidence? I think not.
This is just plain disgusting. You people are making me look NORMAL. Do you understand the enormity of that?

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

Yeah, who let that through? Ick.

sharty mcfly's picture
l 100+ points

yeah, this is just straight up accelerated darwinism. in an age where you have massive amounts of technology keeping poo from entering your mouth, if you're stupid enough to put it there intentionally then you deserve whatever ill reprecussions come from it.

yours in time,

Sharty Mcfly

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

I let it through. This guy is so sincere about his poop-eating that it verifiably was within content of the thread. He responded to the poop-eating topic with an answer that might be disgusting, but it qualified as information.

He doesn't discuss the poop-eating in a fetishlike manner but in a businesslike manner, even though the eating of the poo was during sex.

It made me sick as hell, but I had to post it or fear that I was being overly-censoring.

I am going to take this to the forums for discussion.........and no please lame me for allowing it to go through. It's not like I wanted to.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

Okay. You have a point.

And I did enjoy Dufya's Listerine comment.

So there you go.

Nine Inch Log's picture
k 500+ points

daph: as much as I disagree with your decision, I will fight to the death to defend it.

_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Bunga Din's picture
j 1000+ points

This is certainly gross but this is PR, we should be passed the point of freaking out over someone who obviously does this to either please his wife or himself or both. We've had several urine therapy discussions that were equally abhorrent (they actually believe there are health benefits to it) so this posters eating a backdoor Kit Kat bar described without the normal fetishization attendant to this type of post is, while still gross, not something I think requires censoring. Good job Daphne, I would hope in the future I can show the same insight and restraint you did.

P.S. If it was his wife who ate it I guess the bar is called an EWWWW Henry.

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points

AC. A little too much information there.

You are damn lucky that our moderators cut you some skin, and didn't outright delete your comment.

That is just plain disgusting, twisted, immature, warped, and sick. I have a hard time believing that your story is real, and tink that it is nothing more than a fantasy.

I don't know of any woman who would force someone to eat their poo out of the toilet.
_______
"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

me's picture

I think all of you are kidding, none of you have ever eaten shit. you are all posing as poop eaters, talking at your computers, laughing the shit out of your asses while u make up new comments and make-believe characters. no one eats poop that's not in a straight jacket and last time i checked u cant use a PC if ur in a straight jacket. i guess you can't really eat poop either. no one eats poop but dogs and cats.

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

You just keep on thinking that way, sweetie. I wish I could go back to thinking there aren't people who eat poop.

Thanks for keeping the innocence alive.

Crunchy Frog's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I remember as a kid a boy who used to play with our group very occasionally. He was what people referred to as 'simple' back then. They say he was that way because he ate a dogturd once. I don't know if that's true. I think people do eat turds, human turds. I can't imagine anyone other than a fetishist doing it though, I mean it could only take something as strong as an erotic charge to get anyone through it surely??????? What would that shatted ingested shat look like? Okay I need to stop now as I feel vaguely sick. Ewwwwww!!!!!

KDC1956's picture

Well to tell you there is a lot of people that do eat shit.I have done it my self and got real sick after I did it but I wanted to try it so I did.Now for drinking pee I have and still do it to this day.But it is my own.

x-creet's picture

I actually found that comment really funny, flame me as immature - I don't mind - I guess he's painting a mental picture that would be hard to beat and NO that wasn't a challenge =S

JEWISH!!!!'s picture

Earing poop can be lethal. Whatever you do in the name of god don't do it. You could pay with your life!

Bunga Din's picture
j 1000+ points

I 'ear ya!!!

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Earing poop? Fashion statement? nah, I guess that would be ear ring poop....earing poop...hmmm is that like listening so closely to a turd that you smudge a bit on your lobe? I'm confused....wait, no, just old.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Chuck's picture
l 100+ points

Malkavia asks, "Was it his own poop, or someone else's?" Is this logic akin to a man having sex with an animal? If the animal is female, somehow it makes the crime less serious? Man on male animal, well then that's just plain sick. (sarcasm)

shit disturber's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

to the Anonymous Coward all the way at the top, the one talking about his wife forcing him to eat her shit... i suggest you get a divorce...

Senor Popa's picture

man... i wanna know what other dares you guys had going on... that sounds freakin' intense

Carmichael Niklas's picture

It is powerful to break taboos, however there are other (and way more interesting) taboos to break than that against eating abomination.

Frank2401's picture
l 100+ points

Eat poop? Turd terrorism. Fois Gross.
Why?!
I have to go vomit now.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Hey, Frank if I ate/did all three at the same time I would vomit too.

Anonymous Coward's picture

For those of you who refuse to believe that fetishists eat shit, just google "scat fetish", and take a look at what comes up. In the BDSM community, human toilet training is almost a mainstream activity, and professional dominants all over the place advertise expertise in golden showers and scat. IMO, what two consenting adults do together in their bedroom is none of my damn business.

Stan Wienermen's picture

I have eaten shit all of my life. There is something about it that's so very exotic. If you haven't ever tasted it, just pick up a piece and give it a lil' lick. Trust me, it's not as weird as it may seem at first, and it's actually rather tasty. Don't be scared, just take a bite!

Anonymous Coward's picture

Shit...
Hmmmmmm......
Whilw wierd, its not as gross as it seems.
I eat my shit on a regular basis, as well as my girl friend's too.
I have once to feel sick from it, and rather enjoy the taste.
I have read all theses people saying shits bad for you, shit makes you sick, eat it and instantly voimt.
This is what I say:
HOOPLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Shit tastes good, feels good, and has yet to even rmotly make me feel sick.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Why, oh why do I keep clicking on this one?

_______
Well, you don't actually blow on it. That's just an expression.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

Memories of Frank Zappa. Perhaps the Mothers of Invention will show up on "Where are they now?"

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

I shall eschew shit but will continue chewing limburger cheese and kimchee, they satisfy my cravings for stinky foods quite well thank you.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

El Scumbag's picture
k 500+ points

One of the great joys of this site is flicking through Poonurse and Motherload's queries, discovering that although I may be a little kinky and unsqueemish about bumholes, compared to some people out there I'm pretty restrained.

I have to ask though, what does shit actually taste like? It would probably vary in flavour and texture according to what food it's made from of course, but in general, is is sour? Sweet? Salty? Bitter? Can it be compared to something? Is the flavour rich? Mild? Strong? Tangy? What's it like if you burp afterwards?

I read a scat fetishist's description once, who described his first taste of shit (his own) as being "not unlike overripe Camembert cheese" but he didnt go into much further detail.

I do occasionally enjoy analingus, but on such occasions it's with a freshly cleaned hoop without fudge in the tunnel, but I haven't actually tasted the brown stuff itself and I have no desire to. But the grimly curious side of me would be interested to know. After all, young children and many animals eat poop, and they seem to enjoy it, so can somebody who's done this please provide some tasting notes?

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Scummy...........I have read, this is not first hand knowledge, that shit has a bitter taste. That may be so but I will never know.
_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

Anonymous Coward's picture

You people are gross as the shit your putting in your mouths. Ugh. I am now afraid to touch hands with people.

Ashley's picture

AHAHAHAHA this is the BEST page I have ever read!

I think eating poop is gross, but people do have weird fetishes and I am not suprised about it. I praise people for being honest and its hilariously fascinating.

While we are being honest, I do enjoy a guy to eat my butt. I have a nice butt which I been told is my best "asset" all the time. It's curvy, firm, tan, and I love to dress up in sexy undies to accentuate it for my boyfriend. So guys worshipping my curvacious ass, staring at it, and licking me kinda turns me on. It's like they really are literally "kissing my ass" and I like it. So of course I always keep it cleaned and waxed.U know how there's boob, butt, leg guys? I def always been with butt/leg guys. Knowing they get so turned on enough to lick it..rowr

I will however, never ever, lick their butt, touch it, or let along eat shit. Straight guys, go gay. My mouth is too pretty to be licking a white, unshaven, butt. lol It's just different. No gross butts.

Or I will never let a guy put his *blank* in my butt, oouucchh. That is a guy's most precious item and should be put in the best part. Not through the backdoor.

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points

ROFL @ "analingus"

According to this, merely inhaling the fumes of poo and pee can leave a "sewagey" aftertaste for days. Multiply that by the concentrated form of eating it... Nothing butt poo breath and poo burps for days. ::: gagging :::

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

Kyla's picture

lol I believe that people do eat it, I have stumbled across many a page detailing it. I think its gross but if it floats you boat, go for it =D people can't help what turns them on. *shrugs*

Turd Terrorist's picture

I seriously doubt that I will ever grab a ladle and make soup out of my freshly laid pile of putrid purity, but if I should be saving/storing it for some of you whackos, and if you'll pay for it, why not? Addresses, please, and your mailbox will be full of farty feces for as long as you're paying!

J's picture

i'm sorry if i'm weird but i had to see what this was like sooo. here it goes. i was just standing there wonderin what poop was like since i saw all those gross ass shit eating movies on the net. but unlike a lot of people on here. i just went for a taste.
ITS FUCKING GROSS! SHIT TASTE WORSE THAN ANYTHING! NEVER EAT SHIT!!!!!!!!! IF YOU DO THEN YOU HAVE WEIRD ASS TASTE BUDS!

craptrina's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

This has to be the most disturbing thread I've ever clicked on...

Cynical Coward's picture

ok, for all you people who don't believe that people actually eat fecal material, go to google and type in 2 girls 1 cup. i have a pretty strong stomach, and couldn't make it past the first 20-30 seconds. as for what happens in the bedroom staying there, i guess that makes sense, but keep the fucking descriptions there too!

To poop or not to poop that is the question's picture

In modern times like these, I'd rather my poop down the toilet, not in my stomach.
The only poop I've ever eaten is McDonalds.

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