what do you do with a problem like an anorectal abscess?

// // 14 Comments
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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Joey asks:

I recently discovered that I think I have an anorectal abscess. Do I need to goto a special doctor to get this taken care of or should I just got a general medicine doctor?

Thanks for your help.


Well Joey,

Based solely on the particular way that you worded your question, my first recommendation would be for you to see a psychiatrist. Sounds like a split personality to me. But the good news is that you haven't discovered that you think you are having an affair or something. At least this is treatable and not usually cause for someone else causing you bodily harm.

As far as the anorectal abscess though, just tell yourself to see a regular medical doctor. If there is reason for a specialist to become involved in your treatment, then the general practitioner can refer you to the appropriate kind.

Thanks for asking Motherload!

Motherload is a Certified Nurse Assistant as well as an IBS sufferer, which means she knows a lot about poop. Got a question for her? Ask it here.

14 Comments on "what do you do with a problem like an anorectal abscess?"

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Hey, I'm just glad we have someone asking "what TYPE of doctor do I visit?" instead of something like "I'm bleeding to death. Should I do something about it?"

Thank you Joey for not being an idiot!


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Boomerang's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

"Do I go to the doctor before or AFTER the eight pints are lost?"

Shitler - Poop Nazi. I also have a joke about him hating Pews (that's Jews + Poo) but maybe that's a little offensive...

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points

My doctor told me that this is serious, should I get it treated? Or, should I wait to see what happens?

It is these kinds of questions that make me wonder where society is going.

Joey, if 1+1=2, then common sense would say, GO TO A SPECIALIST !!!
_______
A man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Anonymous Coward's picture

I don't think you have an abscsess- you simply need to pull your head out of your ass.

DungDaddy's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Take it easy on Joey. Something's wrong with his most important hole.

Anomalous Coward's picture
k 500+ points

You need to get seen and treated ASAP.
As a general rule of thumb, if one has a health issue that makes him nervous enough to solicit advice from total strangers on a humor based website, he would be better served by going to his own doctor. We're fun to hang around (except for Anonymous above - different branch of the Coward family), but we aren't doctors. We don't even play doctors on TV. Some of us may play doctor, but...

Rottenshit's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

What exactly is an anorectal abscess? Is that the condition that your backdoor hole gets real big from improper usage that a 16 pound bowling ball slides right in? If so, I reccomend you see Dr. Shavago. A pioneer in his field.

Fecal Follies's picture
l 100+ points

Um, Rotten? You missed the word "abscess" in there?

It's ... an abscess. In the rectal area.


_______
And it burns, burns, burns -
The ring of fire.

And it burns, burns, burns -
The ring of fire.

Motherload's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

I too was pleased to see someone asking what type of doctor to go to instead of the usual "should I see a doctor" type question.

As a rule, any time something is wrong with you--even if it isn't exactly clear what it may be--always seek the advice of a regular general practitioner first.

Not only will that doctor be able to refer you to the appropriate type of specialist if one is actually needed, most types of insurance would require you to be seen by a primary care physician before they would even consider paying for a specialist.

Also, I am Motherload. I am not a doctor. Just for fun I might suggest that you seek help from a podiatrist since that sounds a lot like POOdiatrist. But unless you have a foot stuck in your ass, I doubt one of those guys could offer much assistance.
_______
Always looking out for number two!

Always looking out for number two!

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Um, yeah, a regular doctor is a good idea here. The medical system works this way- You get a problem and go to see your regular doctor. Regular doctor assesses the situation and decides on a treatment. When he cannot perform said treatment...

What Motherload said above.

This seems logical enough to me.
br>_______
If a man farts and no one's around, does he make a sound?

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Nine Inch Log's picture
k 500+ points

But what if the regular doctor, nor the specalist knows what's wrong?

_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Double Flush's picture
k 500+ points

Well, Inchy, then you're just screwed.

_______
[Insert witty banter here]

[Insert witty banter here]

Anomalous Coward's picture
k 500+ points

Actually it shouldn't be all that hard to diagnose. It could only be one of two things:

1. An anorectal abscess, or

2. The head of your imperfectly formed twin that has been living up your ass taking your shit (literally) for years.

Fecal Follies's picture
l 100+ points

Oh gee thanks A.C. *grin*

Now I'm wondering how many parasitic twins have actually formed in the region of the buttocks or anus or rectum. (I'd say the buttocks would be most likely.)

There goes MY morning. Google ho!


_______
And it burns, burns, burns -
The ring of fire.

And it burns, burns, burns -
The ring of fire.

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